The Last Marauder
by FairyTale
Summary: Harry suffers terribly in the summer after his fifth year. But just when it seems that his life turns towards the better, one of the remaining Marauders dies. How can Harry and the last Marauder cope? What is the reason behind the Muder? *COMPLETE!!!*
1. Punishment

**Punishment**

Harry lay on his bed at the Dursleys' house. He was lying on his left side facing the wall for this was the only comfortable position at the moment. Well, comfortable was definitely too positive to describe his position, it was rather the only way to lie down without having his entire body hurting.

Harry sighed but soon regretted it for drawing breath or exhaling too deeply caused him serious pain.

No, his holiday had not been very pleasant so far, and it was still six weeks to go. He had not had any contact to his friends or to Sirius so far for Hedwig had been locked away and strong bars on his window prevented it from being opened for any other owl.

Since somebody, Harry was deeply convinced that it had been Draco Malfoy but had no proof for that, had sent an article from the Daily Prophet to his aunt and uncle which reported the events of the Triwizard Tournament in Harry's fourth year, the Dursleys had started referring to him no longer as 'boy' but rather as 'murderer'. Not that he really cared about what they called him, but every time they had said so it had given him a sting inside. He blamed himself for Cedric's death, he already blamed himself enough and there was nobody he could talk to. Instead, he was forced to live with people who seemed to enjoy the pain he was in. 

Nightmares had been his constant companions, there had been no night during that summer in which he had slept until the next morning without waking up, screaming because he had re-lived Cedric's death over and over again. 

He had wished so much that Sirius could be with him, that he could talk to his godfather about everything that had happened in the past months, but he didn't even know where Sirius was.

That holiday had been hard, but it was nothing compared to what Harry had been through so far after returning from his fifth year at Hogwarts.

His nightmares still had not left him after one year although they didn't torture him that often anymore. But this was no gain for his life in broad daylight had turned into a nightmare as well.

His uncle's drill company was not doing very well and he constantly was in a foul mood. At the very first day of his holiday he had given Harry a very good insight into what would await him because of that by knocking him to the floor without any given reason.

Throughout the following days and weeks, his uncle's beatings had become worse and regular, never with any clear reason behind them.

He needed somebody to work his anger on and that somebody of course turned out to be Harry.

Only this morning, not nearly two hours ago, had Uncle Vernon stormed into Harry's room, pulled him out of bed by his wrist and punched his eye with his fist. Harry, who had not been really awake, had fallen onto the floor, an increasing dizziness spreading through his head.

"Lying lazily in bed while it is already bright day outside, I will show you that this won't work in my household! Somebody needs to clean the kitchen after breakfast, and the roof has to be mended! Get up, you lazy, stupid, useless burden!"

With this, he had kicked Harry hard into the side which again knocked him onto the floor. Harry had breathed in sharply as the pain hit him, he could clearly feel that at least one of his ribs had given way when the blow had hit them.

"GET UP!"

Harry had still lain on the floor and tried to get air into his lungs and could not follow his uncle's demand.

"Well, if you want it the hard way…"

Vernon had removed his belt from his trousers and ripped Harry's shirt off his back. Pressing Harry onto the floor by the neck with one of his large hands, he had taken the belt into the other and let it strike down onto Harry's exposed back with all his might, belt buckle first. 

Harry had suppressed a cry of pain. 'Don't give him that satisfaction. Don't start crying. Just try to ignore it, then he will finish soon.'

Harry had repeated these words over and over again like a mantra but could not bear more than two further whips on his back before the cries of pain that had built up in his throat forced their way out. This had only seemed to encourage Vernon in continuing with the beating.

Harry had counted seventeen strikes until he lost consciousness. Not only his back, but also his ribs had hurt like mad during the beating for Vernon had fiercely pressed one of his knees onto Harry's lower back to prevent him from dodging the hits. The pressure onto his ribcage had taken away his breath. Eventually, Harry had fainted. The pain had been too much because the remains of Vernon's last wake up call of that sort had not healed properly yet.

Realizing that Harry would not be able to clean up the kitchen until he had regained consciousness, Vernon left him lying on the floor and locked the door from the outside.

It had taken Harry nearly an hour to wake up and after that he had collapsed onto his bed, searching for a position which would not hurt too much.

No, he surely could not go on like this for another six weeks. But how could he get away? Owl for help? Hedwig was locked in the cupboard under the stairs with the rest of his possessions, including his broomstick. Harry hoped that Petunia at least could overcome her fear and disgust for the owl enough to provide Hedwig with food. If the owl received the same rations or even less than Harry did she would surely be dead by now.

Every evening after six, when Harry was locked in his room after fulfilling his duties around the house, Petunia would unlock the door only long enough to put a small bowl with thin, cold broth onto the table next to the door. That was all he was provided with for the entire day.

Harry shook his head when he thought about this, but even that motion hurt. A wave of nausea shot through his body, his intestines contracted and he started choking, but there was nothing in his stomach that his body could vomit. It only increased the pain Harry was already in and he tried not to move any part of his body anymore.

No, there was definitely no way he could flee. During the last days it had become hard to walk straight for him and he constantly felt dizzy, he was not strong enough to run away even if he left his belongings behind.

If only the Weasleys would come to rescue him again like they had done after his first year at school. Or Sirius, his godfather…

Harry closed his eyes with another sigh and drifted off again.

When he felt hands on his face he snapped back into reality. Fearing that somebody had come to choke him or that Vernon had not had enough fun in beating him up for today, he opened his eyes and tried to rise into a sitting position. This had been the worst idea he could have had for the sting of pain coming from his ribs nearly made him faint again.

"Still not up yet! When did I tell you that you could lie down again and sleep? The dishes won't clean themselves! What have I done to have such a freak around my house? A murderer, a useless bastard who should have died with his useless parents, but no, I am forced to shelter you! And you're not even thankful enough to fulfil your duties in the household!"

Harry had tried to open his eyes during Vernon's insults but pressed them close together again when he felt a massive hand slapping his face with all his might. Warm liquid, obviously blood, spilled down over his mouth and his nose hurt like mad.

"Well, if you intend to lie down the entire day I better give you a reason to do so! Get up boy!"

Harry tried for he knew punishment would be worse if he didn't but his body would not obey his commands.

"I SAID GET UP!"

Vernon pulled him to his feet by his right wrist and slapped his face again.

He winced in pain and moaned.

"QUIET! I don't want to hear anything from you!"

Harry suppressed another moan of pain as his uncle pressed him against the wall, his hurt back appeared to be on fire. One hand held him upright by the throat, dangerously close to cutting off his air supply completely while Vernon's right hand started beating madly against his chest and belly. Harry felt something crack inside of him and knew that one if not more of his already abused ribs had finally broken. He could not hold back a scream but this time Vernon did not seem to notice.

All of a sudden, the hand that held Harry was removed and he fell onto the floor, gasping for air. Tears ran down his face and he tried to cradle into a foetal position. Taking breath had become even more difficult and painful after his ribs had broken. Harry knew he could take no more and did something he had never thought he would do in front of Vernon. He begged.

"Please…no…"

"I SAID QUIET!"

Vernon pushed Harry onto his stomach and left the room but before Harry could dream about the beating being over, he returned. In his hands he carried Dudley's Smelting Stick.

"No…"

Another kick in his sides made Harry stop talking immediately and Vernon started whipping Harry's already welted back with the thin stick again and again. Harry knew he would never forget the whistling sound the stick made before it painfully settled onto his bruised back.

"Vernon…"

The beating stopped. It had been Aunt Petunia's voice coming from the doorway and Vernon turned around.

"What is it Petunia? I'm just giving the boy a lecture."

"Vernon, there is something you need to know."

Vernon got up and walked towards his wife. Both started talking in low voices and for all that Harry could see without his glasses and with pain fogging his sight none of them looked pleased at all. Petunia left and Vernon returned at his side.

Instead of picking up the stick again, Vernon grabbed Harry by his wrist and by the hair and threw him onto the bed. Harry was close to passing out again.


	2. Rescue

**Rescue**

He could feel a cloth being bound across his mouth as a gag and feared that he would choke from it. His nose was still bleeding and he could not breathe properly neither through the nose nor through the gag. His heart started beating frantically and he tried to bring up his hands to remove the gag when he heard his uncle speaking.

"There are two of your…_kind coming." He spit the words out. "If I hear any sound from you, you'll wish you had never been born."_

With this, his uncle bound his hands onto the bedposts with a thin rope that cut into his wrists and locked Harry into his room. Lying on his bruised back definitely was the worst position he could be in.

Everything was spinning in his head.

Two of his kind? What could two wizards be doing here? Hermione and Ron? No, they would come in disguise if they came. Dumbledore? Why should his headmaster come? He was the one who put him here every summer without listening to Harry's pleas for not to be returned.

Harry still could not breathe properly under the gag and the lack of air supply made the room spin around him.

From far away he could hear voices. Downstairs? Maybe. They seemed to be angry, but Harry could not understand what they said. Had there been steps on the stairs? He could not tell for sure. Then somebody tried to open his door but failed. Of course. His uncle had locked it.

He could hear muttering and then the door flung open. The figure of a man appeared. Harry could not see him clearly, his glasses lay on the bedside table and his left eye was swollen, but the figure appeared to be known to him.

"Oh shit! Harry?"

The man approached his bed and bent over him.

"Harry, can you hear me?"

A hand cupped his chin and pulled his head to the side which caused Harry to utter a sharp moan of pain under his gag.

"Wait, I'll take the bindings and the gag of. Oh Merlin! Harry, what have they done to you? If he sees you like this he will be really guilty of murder!"

Careful hands removed the gag and Harry could finally breathe again properly while the bindings around his wrists were removed. The stranger rubbed his wrists and arms in order to bring the blood and the feeling back into them.

The door to his room had been left ajar and now that Harry could focus onto his surroundings again he could understand the voices from below.

"If you have harmed him, if you have only touched him, believe me I will not hesitate to kill you!"

That voice seemed familiar, but Harry could not put it into its proper place.

The following was his uncle.

"I only gave him what he deserved. I'm forced to accommodate a murderer! Worse than that, a murderer of your foul kind. A murdering freak!"

"Stop that immediately Dursley! I will not listen to you talking like this!" The stranger's voice sounded ready to kill, filled with venom and disgust.

But Vernon didn't stop.

"You dare not speak to me like that in my own house! You are even worse than this child of freaks! His parents received what they deserved and he should have shared their fate! At least then he wouldn't have been a constant burden and threat to us for the last years. He only received what he truly deserved! I only try to protect my family!"

The well known sound of a fist colliding with a face followed, a moan from his uncle and shortly afterwards a shrill scream from his aunt.

"So do I foolish muggle, so do I!" It was the voice of that man again followed by the sound of footsteps on the stairs.

"Remus, what is wrong, why didn't you bring Harry down?"

The man entered the room and stood still for a moment. Then Harry could see him storming towards the bed, kneeling in front of him.

"Oh my god! Harry, Harry can you hear me? What have those muggles done to you?"

Remus? Had that familiar stranger just called the other man Remus? Remus Lupin? His teacher? Why was Lupin here? Harry's mind fogged more and more, he didn't understand anything anymore.

"He was gagged and bound when I found him and he doesn't seem to be really conscious. That excuse of an uncle must have been beating him up like mad, his nose is still bleeding. Let's bring him out of here. We can ask him what exactly they did when we've looked after him. Do you take him?"

The man nodded and bent down over Harry. He was now so close that Harry could make out the shape of the face and through all the fog and dizziness he suddenly recognized that man. His heart skipped one beat. That could not be true. He was only endangering himself, what was he doing here?

"Sirius?"

His godfather smiled weakly.  
"Yes Harry, I'm here. I'll take you out of here, just one moment. I'll lift you up now okay?"

Harry nodded weakly and felt one hand gripping under his knees and another one under his back.

He cried out in pain. He had completely forgotten about his earlier encounter with Vernon's belt and the Smelting Stick.

"Harry, what's wrong?"

Concernedly, Sirius lifted Harry's shoulder up a little and his eyes widened in shock.

"I'm going to kill that fat excuse of a muggle! This bastard!"

Lupin stepped beside his friend and his eyes widened in shock at what he saw. But realizing that Sirius was close to storming downwards and making his threat a fact, he lay a hand on Sirius' shoulder and held him back. 

"Save that for later. We have to bring him out of here."

Sirius nodded.

"Harry, I'm trying not to hurt you, okay?"

"Hardly possible…all hurts…"

And Harry passed out again. Sirius grimaced as if he himself was in pain and carefully lifted Harry from the bed. He was startled by the fact that his now sixteen year old godson didn't seem to weigh anything. Lupin took Harry's glasses and they proceeded down the stairs where they found a shattered Petunia and her son holding a large ugly toad in his hands.

"Sirius, was that necessary? You promised not to do anything when I left you here."

"He should be glad he's still alive."

Lupin turned towards Petunia.

"Where do you keep Harry's stuff?"

She backed away from the three wizards and merely nodded towards the cupboard under the stairs which Lupin opened with a wave of his wand.

He conjured the trunk out of it, then reduced it to the size of a matchbox and placed it in one of his pockets. 

Sirius left with Harry in his arms and Lupin sighed. Another wave of his wand towards the toad, then he picked up Hedwig's cage and he too left the house. That nasty uncle would be restored in two hours time. Now there were more urgent matters to deal with. He caught up with Sirius and released Hedwig from her cage before shrinking it as well. The owl would find her way to Sirius' place.

They had to walk a little distance until they were far enough away from Privet Drive to apparate.

Of course, nobody knew about this attempt to free Harry and therefore the protection spells around the house had not been lifted.

Eventually, they had gathered enough distance to Privet Drive and Lupin and Sirius vanished with a low *pop*.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Darkness. Somewhere, from far away, he could hear voices.

_"We can't lay him down, neither on his back nor on his stomach. Seat him in that chair."_

_"The nose is not broken as far as I can see."_

_"His back looks really bad. We need to disinfect those welts before mending them, otherwise he'll get an infection."_

Sharp pain. He tried to hiss, but found out he could not. Too painful.

_"His breathing is too flat. There are at least two broken ribs. But I can't tell for sure whether he is hurt worse internally. _

Hands touching his chest. Pain. He coughed.

_"Shit. He's coughing blood. That's more than we can heal. Sirius, stay with him, I'll get Madam Pomfrey immediately."_

Silence. Silence and pain.

_"Where is he? Oh Merlin, who could do something like that? I need cold and warm water and fresh cloths. Sirius, you hold him upright while I mend the back. I need to look after the ribs but I can't until I can lay him down on the back."_

Somebody shifted him around. Pain. More pain. Too much. Darkness.


	3. Nightmare

**Nightmare**

"Harry?"

Slowly his mind drifted back into reality. He was lying down on something soft. A bed? A sofa? He could feel that somebody was sitting beside him, but who was that and where was he?

"Harry, can you hear me?"

It was dark around him. Was it night? After a couple of seconds Harry realized that he had his eyes closed and slowly faced the task of opening them. He could feel that somebody was softly stroking his cheek.

"Harry? Please wake up!" A loud sigh followed. "I will call Madam Pomfrey again if he doesn't wake soon."

"Give him some time. She said she's done all she could and that he needs rest now. He's exhausted, just give him some time."

Slowly, very slowly, Harry opened one eye. The room above him was bright and a blurred shape was leaning over him.

"He wakes up! Harry?"

"Mmmphh!" He had wanted to say something but realized that he couldn't speak yet. He tried to rise but a hand on his shoulder softly pushed him back.

"Don't move, you need rest. We've mended your ribs and your back but you need some time to recover. Take it slow."

Slowly memory came back to Harry. He had been at the Dursleys' house and then Lupin and Sirius had come…

"Sirius?"

"Shhh. I'm here." Again the hand softly stroke his cheek.

"My glasses…can't see…"

Gentle hands put his glasses on his nose and the room around Harry started to take clear shapes.

Harry could see Lupin standing at the end of the bed he was lying in and Sirius was sitting on the bed at Harry's side. His face showed an amount of worry and concern Harry had never seen on him before. And that meant something. 

He also realized that Dudley's huge and worn out jeans had been removed and he was wearing a pair of black trainers and a blue t-shirt now.

"How do you feel?"

Harry shook his head and was surprised that it didn't hurt as much as it had done the last time he had done so. After some moments he spoke.

"Thirsty…hungry…tired."

"Does anything hurt?"

Harry started examining himself by trying to move his limbs and breathing in heavily.

"No. No more. At least not badly."

Sirius nodded and a flash of relief spread across his face.

Harry tried to keep his eyes focussed.

"How long…?"

"Three days. We got you out on Wednesday afternoon, now it's Saturday around noon. You've been passed out all the time, you gave me quite a scare."

"Sorry."

"Shhh. It's not your fault, no need to be sorry. I'm just glad that you're doing better."

"Sirius why did you do that?"

His godfather's brow frowned.

"Did what?"

"Take me out of there. I can't stay with you. The Ministry…"

"…has cleared my name over a week ago. Shhh, don't say anything, I will tell you when you've rested. It's okay, believe me." He smiled at his godson and softly stroke his hair.

Then he reached for a cup on the bedside table.

"Drink this. It will help you sleep. You need rest, you've not have enough food for weeks."

He lifted Harry's head with one hand and helped him drink the potion, then let him slip back until his head rested on the bend of Sirius' arm.

"Sirius?"

"Yes Harry?"

"Could you…do me a favour?"

"Anything."

"Stay with me. Don't leave me…alone now."

Sirius nodded. "Sure." He looked at Lupin, who gave them a warm smile and then left the room.

Sirius lay down beside Harry, his arm still serving as a pillow for Harry.

"Sleep now. I'm here, it's okay. You need to sleep."

Harry nodded weakly and drifted off into slumber.

For quite a long time, Sirius watched his godson sleeping, cursing those muggles for what they had done to him, cursing himself that he hadn't acted earlier, cursing everyone he could think of for what Harry had had to go through. Eventually, Sirius too fell asleep. He had not been sleeping very much through the last three days, the concern for Harry had kept him awake.

_"Cedric, NO! Don't touch that cup, it's a portkey!"_

_"You enabled Voldemort to regain power! It's all your fault! Cedric's dead and it's all your fault!"_

_"Kill the spare!"_

_"All your fault!"_

_"Can't ever do anything right Potter, can you? All your fault!"_

_"Kill the spare!"_

_"It's all your fault!"_

_"Kill the spare!"_

_"They are all dying because of you! Your parents, Cedric, who will be next? Ron?"_

"Harry."_  
"Kill the spare!"_

_"Hermione?"___

"Harry?"

_"Kill the spare!"_

_"Lupin?__ Dumbledore? SIRIUS?"_

"Harry?"

_"KILL!"_

"NO! Not! I didn't mean to…Cedric…not known…please not Ron or Hermione…"

_"Who instead?"___

"Harry!"

"Not Sirius!!! Please not him!"

_"No?"_

"NOOOO! I'm sorry! It was all my fault! NOOO!"

Harry opened his eyes in shock and rose into a sitting position. It was dark around him, so dark, he could not see anything.

There were hands upon him, hands that tried to pull him back, back onto the graveyard, back to Voldemort…

His heart started beating frantically and he tried to push those hands away, he hit around himself, he bit, he scratched, he tried everything but he failed. Knowing that he had lost his fight, Harry started to scream.

"Harry!"

A hand slapped his face, softly but strong enough to make him stop screaming and to bring him back into reality.

"Lumos"

The light on the bedside table was lit and Harry could make out the room around him. He was half sitting half lying on a bed, breathing heavily, his heartbeat still twice as fast as normal.

Next to him, bent half over him was Sirius. He looked panic-struck. 

"Harry, it's just me. Shhh. It's just me. It was only a dream."

His godfather softly lay a hand onto Harry's shoulder when suddenly the door flung open. Harry pushed himself back in fear but it was only Remus Lupin standing in the doorframe, bearing nearly the same expression as Sirius.

"What's going on here? Why were you screaming?"

"It's okay Remus, it's okay. Just a dream. Go back to bed, I'll take care of Harry."

Lupin's forehead frowned but he nodded and left. Sirius turned back towards his godson.

"I'm sorry that I slapped you Harry. But I had tried to wake you up for several minutes without any reaction from you."  
Harry nodded, still not being able to grasp his situation completely.

"It's okay. It's just…well, I'm quite confused. One moment I'm with the Dursleys and the next I'm waking up somewhere in the dark. Where am I?"

Again, he looked around in the room but found nothing familiar.

Sirius lifted himself into a sitting position facing Harry.

"You're in my house." Seeing Harry's confused looks he sighed and continued.

"I have not told you about it before because I didn't want you to be disappointed if it failed, but over the last couple of months Dumbledore tried everything he could to convince the Ministry of my innocence. At first they didn't want to listen, but Arthur Weasley helped a lot. 

A little over a week ago, they gave me my trial. It was one of the worst things I've ever been through and I won't tell you about it now. This can wait until later. The important thing is that both Dumbledore and I testified under Veritaserum what really had happened to your parents, to Peter and to those Muggles on the street. They judged me innocent, they simply had to. I was free.

The first thing I did was that I took Remus and came here. The house had been deserted for so many years but still it looked exactly the way it did when I left it. There had been spells around that protected it from becoming a ruin. We did anything we could to make it once again my home…well and yours.

This actually is supposed to become your room, of course only if you want it. But that again is a matter that can be left for later.

I wanted to get you away from those muggles immediately after restoring the house, but Dumbledore ordered me to wait until everything was settled officially. I agreed hesitantly. But then I received an owl from Hermione. She told me that neither Ron nor she had heard anything from you this summer, that all their letters and packages had not reached you. And when my own owl returned with the letter in which I told you about what had happened, I had the horrible feeling that something was terribly wrong.

I went for you and the state I found you in proved that it had been the right decision. I won't let you return to them, no matter what Dumbledore or the Ministry will say."

"Thank you."

"No need to thank me Harry." 

He caught his godson's eyes and Harry could tell from that look what was about to come next.

"Harry, I'm worried. You've thrown yourself around in bed, you've talked, you've winced, you've cried and you've screamed. I know that we've hardly had time to talk in the past, but something is worrying you badly and I like to know what it is."

Again, he put a hand onto Harry's shoulder and Harry looked away. He knew exactly that he would not be able to hold back tears if he was forced to look into Sirius' eyes.

"Harry?"

Harry closed his eyes and breathed in deeply.

"It has been like this for over a year, though not always that bad. It's…it's what has happened at the Tournament. The Third Task. What happened to Cedric. It haunts me. I see it every night, I see Cedric being killed, I hear Voldemort laugh, I hear those voices that tell me that it was all my fault…"

Sirius tried to move and say something, but Harry raised a hand and made him stop. It would be easier to finish if he didn't get interrupted.

"Vernon and Petunia knew what had happened and they did anything they could to remind me of my guilt. At school it became better, Ron and Hermione helped a lot, but there was nobody I could really talk to. Everybody tried to dodge the topic, tried to distract me, but I could see it in their eyes Sirius. Their eyes told me that they too considered me guilty. Everybody at school except maybe from Ron and Hermione. They whispered behind my back and looked away when I tried to talk to them. 

So I drew back from everybody. It…it just seemed to be the right thing to do. 

Everybody who is close to me is in the danger to die. Mom and Dad, Cedric, and I don't want to think about the many times Ron and Hermione were in mortal danger because of me. And you. You already had to run away from the Ministry but despite that you always put yourself into danger to be near me. 

I didn't want to have anybody close to me, I didn't want to cause another death, nobody should die because of me, nobody else…"

Harry's voice broke and the tears he had held back while telling now streamed down his face beyond his ability to fight them any longer.

Again a hand touched his shoulder and he felt Sirius' arms around him. His godfather soothingly pulled him into his arms and buried Harry's head against his chest.

Harry sobbed heavily as he allowed every emotion that had been suppressed for more than a year to surface. He felt that he was not able to do anything but cry.

"Shhh." Sirius slowly stroked Harry's back. "Shhh. It's alright, I'm here. Just let it out."

Sirius felt Harry relax a little in his arms and after some long minutes of heavy sobbing he seemed to calm down a little.

"Harry, please listen to me. I know what you feel like and it's not right. I felt the same about your parent's death but it's not right. People don't die because of you. Your parents didn't die because of you. They died because they were betrayed and even if you had not been there Voldemort would have killed them. Cedric didn't die because of you but because he was at the wrong place at the wrong time. He could not have known and you could not have known. Otherwise none of you would have touched that cup. I know that it's not easy but you have to abandon the thought that it's you who causes all that. It's Voldemort. None of what has happened was your fault."

Harry shook his head.

"I can't. I can't think like that."

Sirius sighed.

"You will, just don't try to enforce it. Something like this takes time, it doesn't come over night. But please remember that you are not alone. I'm here to help you and now that I don't have to run away any longer I'll do anything to help you. You can talk to me about whatever you want at anytime. I'm here and I won't go away."

Harry closed his eyes and nodded.

"Now you should maybe try to get some sleep. Remus is going to kill me if he finds out that I kept you awake during the night. Believe me, you don't want to see him when he's angry."

Harry smiled as he lay back on his bed and Sirius adjusted his blankets.

"Sleep now Harry. Good night."

Sirius lay down beside Harry and pulled his godson into a tight embrace. Harry sighed and closed his eyes.

"Thank you Sirius."

"Anytime. Now sleep. I'm here if you need something."

Feeling his godfather's arms around him, Harry felt completely safe for the first time since ages and soon drifted off into a dreamless sleep.


	4. Home

**Home**

Harry woke up when he heard somebody knock at the door.

'Since when do Vernon or Petunia knock when they want something?' Harry wondered but immediately opened his eyes and tried to rise. For a moment, he was confused and even slightly shocked for he didn't recognize the room around him and was not able to sit up because something heavy was pressing him onto the mattress.

His heart started beating faster when a second knock followed and the door opened. Remus Lupin entered the room and smiled at Harry who immediately relaxed. Of course, Lupin and Sirius had taken him away from Privet Drive three day ago, now he remembered. He had talked with Sirius and his godfather had stayed with him to give him some comfort after the nightmare last night.

Harry looked left and saw that Sirius was lying next to him, still fast asleep. The weight that hindered Harry from rising was his left arm that was protectively placed across Harry's belly.

Harry smiled at Lupin.

"Good morning Professor."

"Good morning Harry. Sorry, I didn't want to wake you up. How are you feeling?"

Harry thought for a moment.

"Better", he decided. "I had a nightmare last night, but don't worry. It helped a lot that Sirius was there. I can't thank you both enough for what you've done for me."

Lupin gestured him to stop.  
"No need to thank us. Actually I wanted to wake Sirius because Dumbledore wants to talk to him, but I should have remembered that it's easier to raise the dead than to wake Sirius Black."

He laughed and stepped beside the bed.

"Sirius. Wake up. Dumbledore is downstairs, he wants to talk to you."

No reaction.

"Sirius!"

"Mmmphh." Sirius pulled the pillow over his head and tried to keep on sleeping.

Lupin sighed.

"Well, that won't be successful. We have to do it the hard way. Would you help me, Harry?"

Harry removed Sirius' hand from his stomach and sat up.

"Sure, what shall I do?"

Lupin lifted up the shirt Sirius wore and gestured Harry to get hold on his godfather's wrists.

"Just hold him down, that's all. He doesn't like this very much"

Harry raised an eyebrow but did as he was told. He grabbed Sirius' wrists and pushed as hard as he could, wondering what Lupin was about to do.

His professor gave him an evil grin and then all of a sudden started tickling Sirius' sides.

Sirius immediately tensioned and tried to free himself from Harry's hold while fighting his laughter.

"Moony, stop that!"

Lupin didn't even think about it and continued.

"Moony, stop!!! I can't bear that, you know!"

Still no reaction.

"Remus Jonathan Lupin, stop that right now or I will hex you into next month, I swear!"

Lupin stopped his attack and removed the pillow from Sirius' head.

"You're finally awake then? Dumbledore is waiting downstairs, he wants to speak to you."

"That was evil! You get that back, I swear. That's not a civilized way to wake somebody!"

Lupin grinned.

"I would have emptied a bucket of ice water over your head were it not for Harry lying next to you. Now get dressed, Dumbledore's waiting."

He turned and left the room. Sirius shook his head, then looked at Harry.

"Good morning. Feeling better?"

Harry nodded. "A lot, thanks." He raised an eyebrow.

"What Harry?"

"You're ticklish?"

Sirius laughed. "Like hell. But don't ever dare to use that against me. If you hadn't been there, Remus would not have escaped my revenge. Well, I'll better go and see what Dumbledore wants."

He got up and left Harry's bedroom, still shaking his head.

Harry smiled and got up. There was no way he would be able to sleep anymore, so why not get up.

He suddenly realized that he didn't know anything in this house. He just wanted to leave the room and search for the bathroom when again it knocked and Lupin stepped into the room.

"You'll surely be wanting to shower and get dressed. There are some clothes which Sirius got for you in the wardrobe. They probably suit but he wanted to go and buy more with you today. The bathroom is one door to the left, there's a shelf with towels and there are toothbrushes in the cupboard under the sink. Just try to make yourself a home, if you need something call me."

Harry nodded. "Thanks."

He went into the bathroom and looked at his reflection in the mirror. His hair was standing into every direction as usual but he was quite shocked that he hardly recognized his own face. It looked too thin, there were dark shadows under his eyes and one could guess that his left eye had recently be bruised. He shook his head, stripped off shirt and trainers and took a long, hot shower.

After that, he brushed his teeth, returned to his room and examined his wardrobe. There was a set of different boxer shorts in one shelf, pairs of socks in another. Also two pairs of blue jeans which appeared to be only slightly too big – well, he had lost a lot of weight during the last couple of weeks – a couple of shirts and two sweaters. Harry pulled on shorts and socks, then a shirt and one pair of jeans which he fixed with the belt he had worn before on Dudley's trousers.

A short moment he flinched at the belt for it reminded him of his last encounter with his uncle.

When he had finished dressing, he went downstairs to search for his godfather and Lupin. He now felt really hungry and was longing for breakfast. He stopped in the hall when he heard angry voices coming from what was obviously the living room. Sirius and Lupin were having an argument with Dumbledore.

"As I told you, you haven't seen him. I don't know what would have happened if I had not taken him out there." Sirius sounded angry.

"It's not the fact that you took him but how you took him. I would have thought you were wiser! The Ministry is running amok because of this and were it not Arthur Weasley who is in charge then you both would be in serious trouble."

"Dumbledore, I don't care if I'm in trouble as long as Harry doesn't have to live with those people anymore."

"You're so stubborn, Sirius. Just imagine what the consequences are if you get into trouble. Harry won't be allowed to live with you. And you dragged Remus into it as well."  
"Please Dumbledore, leave me out of that. I went to the Dursley's with Sirius, it's my fault as well as it is his. I should have known that he would react like that and have hindered him."  
"You're not his babysitter Remus. He has to understand that he is an adult and he has to start behaving like one. He is now responsible for Harry and Harry is not just some ordinary teenager. There are people out there who want him dead."

"Could you please stop talking about me as if I wasn't there? And I think I was behaving like a responsible adult for I took him away from people who didn't care whether he was alive and unharmed or not. Conversation over. If the Ministry wants to tell me off for what I've done than they shall do so. But I don't regret it and I would do it again if I had to."

Harry opened the door and stepped into the room. He didn't want them to continue fighting because of him so he had decided to interrupt it.

"Good morning Professor."

Dumbledore sat in an armchair and when hearing his name he turned around towards Harry and smiled.

"Good morning Harry. How are you doing?"

"Fine, thank you. Please don't bear a grudge on Sirius and Professor Lupin, I'm more than thankful for what they've done."

Dumbledore smiled once more.

"I think we have cleared that issue. Now it's important that you're here and we'll do anything to protect Sirius' house as good as possible. I guess you and your godfather have a lot to tell each other and there are urgent matters that call me back to Hogwarts and then I will take some time and think about additional security spells for your house. I think I'll leave you now. Enjoy the rest of you holiday Harry."

Harry nodded. "I will, I'm sure."

Dumbledore turned towards Sirius.  
"Please keep me informed if something happens. Good bye Sirius, Remus."

He nodded and left through the fireplace.

Sirius grunted something, he obviously still was angry.

"Why didn't he just apparate?"

"Anti-Apparition spell around this house." Lupin smiled. "Besides, he can't apparate on Hogwarts grounds. I thought you knew that."

"Let me guess: _Hogwarts. A History?"_

Lupin nodded. "Exactly. Let me guess: Hermione?"

Harry grinned. "Exactly."

Sirius got up and gently pushed Harry towards the door.

"You must be starving. I've made breakfast, come along. After that, I'll give you the big tour through the house and then I thought we'd go and get you some clothes."

Harry nodded. "Food sounds good. I haven't chewed anything for the last four weeks."

Another concerned look crossed Sirius' face as he gestured Harry to sit down and placed a huge mug of hot chocolate in front of him.

"You should start low then, otherwise you won't keep your breakfast within. How about some toast?"

Harry nodded and allowed Sirius to place a huge plate with buttered toast and a smaller one with some scrambled eggs in front of him.

"Just don't gulp it or you will eat too much. Madam Pomfrey told me that you should do a little low after you've woken up, but as soon as you feel up to it you can just continue normally. She gave me some Pepper-up-Potion for you."

He handed Harry a flask and his godson swallowed its content without hesitation. Madam Pomfrey could get really angry if her instructions were not followed.

Harry started to eat and realized how much he had missed the fact that food was available at any time he wanted it. He enjoyed this breakfast in the kitchen with Sirius and Lupin around and felt that he could get used to this.

"Will you be in trouble because of me?"

Sirius looked up from his coffee and caught Harry's gaze. 

"No. Not really. Arthur Weasley likes you too much to put me into trouble for that little toad incident."

"Toad incident?"

Lupin nearly choked on his tea.

"You don't remember?" Sirius asked while gently patting Lupin on the back. "Well, I got a little out of mind when we fetched you, your uncle said some nasty thing and somehow…miraculously, turned into a toad. Don't know how that could have happened."

"But he won't stay like that, will he?"

"I think Remus saw to it that he didn't. Actually, I don't care."

Harry nodded. Sirius obviously didn't want to talk about that now. He turned to Lupin.

"Can I ask you a question Professor?"

"Only if you stop calling me Professor during the holiday. Call me Remus please. Or Moony." He smiled. "What is it?"

Harry grinned.

"Jonathan?"

Lupin sighed but then laughed. "Doesn't fit with Remus, does it? My mum insisted on giving me that name after she couldn't talk my father out of Remus. An English name. She insisted on it just as she had insisted on me learning English as well as French. That's it.

"You're French?"

Lupin nodded. "My father is. My mother is English. I grew up in France before I went to Hogwarts and my mother wanted to give me a name that would remind me of my English roots. But your godfather has always used it to tease me."

"I would never do such a thing as tease you Remus. I carefully remind you of facts, that's all. Finished Harry?"

When Harry nodded Sirius rose to show his godson his new home.

"Well, this is obviously the kitchen, easy enough. Next door is the living room, you've already seen that as well. Else there's only a storage room next to the kitchen and my study."

He showed Harry quite a large room with a desk, some large shelves of books and two armchairs as furniture. Harry reminded himself that Sirius had worked for the Ministry as an Auror before he had been arrested and definitely had needed a place to do his researches.

They went upstairs where Sirius continued the tour.

"This room is yours as you know. You can decorate it just the way you like it. There's the bathroom, opposite of it is the guest room where Remus stays whenever he's here. There are two more guestrooms next to it. You're free to invite Ron and Hermione to come over when you do better and have accustomed a little if you like. There's plenty of room for guests in this house.

And here we have my room."

Sirius opened the door and both Lupin and Harry chuckled, Lupin obviously had difficulties not to break into a laughing fit. Behind the door was definitely a bachelor's room. Sirius' bed was untidy even though he had not slept in it last night. The wardrobe stood open and clothes seemed to be spread all around the room. The bedside table was covered with all kinds of different things, books, parchments, empty cups and plates.

"Sirius, call the police. Someone has blown up your room."

That was too much for Lupin. He held his stomach which hurt from the laughter with one hand and supported himself on the wall with the other.

"Ha, ha. Very funny you two. This is my room and I like it the way it is. So stop laughing or I'll throw the both of you out."

"You've turned it into _this in barely a week?"_

"Harry!"

Lupin and Harry suppressed their laughter and they went back into the kitchen. Lupin bid them goodbye and left for he had to prepare next year's lessons. 

"Well Harry, let's do some shopping, shall we?"


	5. Sirius, Shopping, Photographs

**Sirius, Shopping, Photographs**

Harry and Sirius travelled to the Leaky Cauldron by Floo Powder. During the travel, Harry tried to close his eyes and ignore the spinning and the passing fireplaces. He stumbled out of the fireplace in the pub and was only prevented from falling to the floor by Sirius who caught him.

"You okay Harry?"

Harry nodded.

"Yeah. Not my favourite way to travel."

Sirius laughed.

"Not mine as well. But flying over London by broomstick would only have caused trouble and poor Arthur Weasley had enough trouble because of me lately. Now come."

They stepped out of the front door.

"Aren't we going to Diagon Alley?"

Sirius shook his head.

"No, I thought we might do some muggle shopping. You don't have your new list from school yet, we can buy you some robes when we have it and have to go to Diagon Alley anyway. But you need some everyday wear and I could not buy it all by eye measure."

"Though your eye measure seems to be very good. The clothes fit well, the jeans are only slightly too big."

Sirius' forehead frowned. "They wouldn't be if you had been fed properly during the last weeks. But you'll grow back into them, I'll make sure. Now, let's go."

"You sound like Ron's mom."

Sirius grinned but said nothing. Actually he was quite thankful towards Molly Weasley for having taken care of Harry during the time he had not been able to do so.

Unlike many other wizards, Sirius got along in the muggle world very well. They spent the rest of the morning in all kinds of clothes shops, buying everything Harry would need for the remaining four weeks of holiday. Sirius didn't wear his robes at home himself and Harry was more than used to muggle clothing.

At noon they had lunch in a restaurant. When they stepped out into the sun again, Sirius looked at his godson.

"Now, what do you want to do? We could either return home or we could spend the afternoon here. I don't know how well you know London already, but it's a great place to spend one's time. Your father, Remus and I have spent many afternoons here during our holidays."

"Actually I've hardly ever been here. Whenever the Dursleys couldn't get rid of me and have taken me here, there never was the time to see anything. I'd love to see something."

Sirius smiled.

"Okay, then let's pretend we're some muggle tourists and let's do some sightseeing. Just tell me when you get bored."

But there was no need for Harry to do so for he never got bored that afternoon. They did a boat tour on the Thames and Sirius explained Harry the sights they passed. Afterwards, they spent two hours in the London Tower where Sirius told about the lives and deaths of the prisoners quite graphically. Whenever he knew no historical information to pass to his godson, he told him about the time he, James and Remus had spend in the city and what mischief they had played even here.

"How come that you know so much about muggle history Sirius?" Harry asked this while they were sitting in an ice cream shop near the Leaky Cauldron in front of a large portion of ice cream each.

"Oh, there's still much I've never told you, isn't it? My Dad was a muggle."

Harry's forehead frowned.

"Actually, you've never told me about your family at all, that's right. But there has hardly been time in the past."

"Why not start it now? Okay, straight from the beginning.

My name is Sirius Black, no middle name like some other unfortunate fellows I know. I was born in Edinburgh on October 24th 1962, but we moved to a London suburb when I was five. I'm an only-child, no brothers, no sisters. My Mom, Leticia, was a which and she was running a Potions supply shop in Edinburgh with three of her friends from school. She died in an accident when I was barely five. She was on a trip to the Scottish coast with her friends and they got into bad weather. There was a landslide and they got into it. But I hardly remember her. Three months later, Dad and I moved away. There was nothing that held him in Edinburgh anymore and I think it was too painful for him. He was an architect and he had an offer from a bureau in London. That's why I ended up here.

Dad, his name was Frank, had known that Mom was a witch right from the start and he had no problem with it. But when she was dead there was hardly anything he could tell me about the wizarding world so I was rather unknowing when I came to Hogwarts. I had gone to a muggle grammar school and never had any friends that were wizards.

But Dad had taught me a lot of muggle history. Whenever he had the time, we went to the city and he showed me things. He always said that as soon as I would come to Hogwarts, I'd learn enough wizarding history and he wanted to use the time he had to show me where he came from.

I think it wasn't easy for him to raise a child all by himself, but he always did the best he could. We were very close and I knew that it hurt him a lot to send me to a boarding school.

He had a heart attack and died in November during my seventh year, that was awfully hard for me. I was barely functioning for two weeks and had it not been for James I think I would have done some really stupid things. He went home with me and helped me organize everything, he never left my side during that time. That was great. 

The only thing I'm glad about is that he didn't live long enough to think of me as a murderer, though I doubt that he would have ever believed it.

That's been my life, put in a nutshell."

Sirius smiled at Harry. "Want to know anything more?"

Harry smiled back.

"Actually, there's something that I've been asking myself for quite a long time. How did the four of you become so close friends? I mean, Ron was the first wizard I've ever met on my way to school and he never treated me as something special like the others did. And Hermione, well after that thing with the troll in our first year there was nothing that could separate us anymore. How about Dad, you, Remus and…oh sorry Sirius. If you don't want to talk about Peter, then it's okay."

Sirius shook his head.

"It's all right Harry. I've had a long conversation with Remus and he has given me the advice to think of two different Peters. The Peter at school, Peter the Marauder, and the Peter who has betrayed us. It helps. Peter is no evil person, at least he has not been at school and I have a lot of very happy memories which also imply him. Talking about them is perfectly okay. Even though I have to admit that I would like to know what troll you were talking about. But let's leave that for later.

So, how did the Marauders befriend each other? 

Well, in case of me and James it was rather like with you and Ron. 

Dad took me to Diagon Alley two weeks before my first trip to Hogwarts. He had been there with my mother before and only needed the help of Tom from the Leaky Cauldron to open the passage. 

We went to Olivander's and bought my wand and after that, Dad met some of Mom's old friends. They started talking and Dad told me to meet him an hour later. So I went to Madam Maulkin's alone. I was rather confused by all those magic around me and I think I must have looked quite scared when I stood there and she took my measurements.

There was only one other boy in the shop and that was your father. He introduced himself as James Potter and we simply started talking. I told him that I had no clue about magic but he just laughed and told me that it didn't mean anything. 

He calmed me down and did everything to distract me and I was more than thankful for it. So we did the rest of our shopping together. Just as we came out of Flourish&Botts with our books and wanted to head for an ice cream we saw that four boys were beating up another in a side alley.

That boy was smaller than the others but he seemed to be a hell of a brawler. Nevertheless, he had no chance against four bigger opponents and James and I headed towards them without even thinking about it.

The four others ran away shortly after we involved ourselves in the brawl. I think they were too cowardly to face three opponents instead of one but they didn't leave without telling us that we would regret the decision. They declared war even before we had started school.

The other boy looked awful. He had some nasty cuts in his face that bled like mad. One of his eyes was bruised and he had received some hard kicks into his ribs. But it was nothing really serious.

He told us that he had accidentally run into one of those four guys, a slimy boy with greasy hair, a pointed nose and an arrogant drawling voice."

"Snape?" Harry interrupted.

Sirius smiled.  
"Snape. The other three became part of his Slytherin gang later on.

The boy had ran into Snape accidentally and Snape's books had dropped on the floor. Before he even had the chance to apologize, they had pushed him into that side alley and had started beating him up.

He thanked us for our help and introduced himself as Remus Lupin. That's how I got to know good old Moony. 

We realized how late it was and went to meet our parents. Dad nearly killed me when he saw that I had been brawling. James' father was lecturing him as well. Remus was looking around and soon a man stormed towards him and started talking to him in French at an immense speed. It was his father. After some confused moments, Remus told our parents that we had only be helping him out and they calmed down a little.

We knew each other for hardly an hour and already created fracas. It was more than promising to us and I knew the others were thinking the same because they grinned at me mischievously. That's how I met James and Remus. James saved me from getting lost and we saved Remus from being beaten up.

Remus sometimes remembers me of that day and teases me by calling me 'My Guardian Angel', but I can live with that."

Sirius laughed.

"Well, that's how we first met. We were more than glad that we were sorted into the same house at school. Peter we met in school, the four of us shared a dorm. It took some more time, but he soon got included in our circle."

Harry smiled.

"Sounds as if you had a lot of fun during the following years."

"Oh yeah, we did." Sirius smiled as he remembered some of their pranks. Suddenly, his face turned serious again.

"Harry, I know that you want to know about your parents. You can ask me whatever you want to know about them. I think the same is for Remus. Don't hesitate because you think it might be too painful for us. That they are dead is painful anyway, but there are some really good storied that want to be told."

Harry nodded. "Thank you."

"No problem. Maybe we should go home now. It's been a long day."

The left and headed back to the Leaky Cauldron where they stepped into the fireplace back home.

Sirius sat down on the sofa with the Daily Prophet while Harry for the first time took a closer look at the living room. His eyes focussed on two framed pictures that stood on the mantelpiece above the fireplace. He took them and sat down beside his godfather.

"Who's that?"

He pointed at one picture that showed a man and a woman standing in the front yard of a house, but he needn't have asked. The resemblance between the man and Sirius was unmistakable.

"Those are my parents. The picture was taken two months before my mother died."

Sirius had inherited the black hair and the lines in his face from his father. At first sight there was no resemblance to the brown haired woman who was standing beside him but then Harry saw her eyes. They were the same bright blue eyes Sirius had and when Harry looked at her smile he realized that Sirius smiled just like her.

Harry put the picture on the table and looked at the other one. Unlike the first one this was a wizarding picture but the two people on it barely moved. It showed a man lying on a sofa, fast asleep. On top of his stomach lay a baby, maybe a year old and slept, gently sucking on one of the man's fingers. The man's other hand held the baby, preventing it from falling down.

Harry gave Sirius a questioning look and his godfather smiled.

"That one's actually the only picture I have which shows you and me."

Harry took a closer look at the picture and recognized the man as Sirius. A smile spread across his face.

"You were slightly less than a year old at that time. Your parents were invited to a party and it was full moon so Remus could not be there. We had been your babysitters before, but never one of us alone. I was a little nervous, I have to admit, but we enjoyed our evening very much. You were  starting to talk at that time and your mother was mad at your father because he taught you our nicknames and not our real ones. You never reacted when the names Sirius or Remus were mentioned, but when we two showed up you squeaked 'Moony' and 'Pahfoo'. I could have kissed you for that but Lily always threw killing looks towards your father.

Well, we *talked* a little, I told you stories from the Marauders, we took a walk in the garden, then I made you something to eat and put you in the bath. You had shown a large interest in the mud that had been left from the rain, you had been chasing earthworms. Your mother would have killed me if I had put you to bed like that. Then I put you to bed, kissed you good night and went downstairs.

I had hardly sat down on the sofa when you started crying, so I went back upstairs. I calmed you down, put you back, but as soon as I had left the room you started crying again. I went like this for five or six times, you simply didn't want to sleep. I even sang you a lullaby but it didn't help."

Harry smiled as he tried to imagine Sirius bent over a cradle, singing a lullaby.

"I was so tired myself but I could not sleep as long as you were crying as if the house was on fire. So I took you in my arms and walked around in the house, hoping that you would fall asleep. I lay down on the sofa, put you on my stomach and before I even realized it, I had fallen asleep.

James later told me that when they came home late that night, Lily went straight into your room and wanted to look after you. She nearly had a fit when you weren't there, so she went into the guest room where I should have been sleeping. She thought that maybe I had taken you to my room, but when she saw that my bed was untouched she was really throwing a fit. James said that she had started swearing like he had never heard her before. Things about me being immature and unable to put a child to bed at the right time and things like that, only in a very graphic way.

They started searching the house and found us on the sofa. I was still sleeping and you too had finally given in to sleep. First thing Lily did was taking the camera and making a picture of us. Even the flashlight didn't wake us, so your father put a blanket over us and they went to bed.

I woke up next morning because you started jumping around on my stomach.

Lily and James told me that they had found us like that, Lily even apologized for cursing me even though I didn't know about it, but they never mentioned the picture. It was part of my birthday present two months later. It's very precious to me and I was more than glad that it was still here and undamaged when I came and looked after the house."

He looked at Harry and his expression turned serious.

"I've missed very much of your life and I'm really sad about it. It would have been my biggest wish to watch you grow up. But you've become a great guy anyway, brave, loyal, devoted, caring, honest, smart. You've developed all the traits that made James and Lily so special even though you did never know them. You've been through so many things but you've never complained and never given up. I'm really proud of you and I'd like to be part of your life for as long as possible. I love you Harry."

Harry looked away, startled.

"What's wrong? I…Did I say something wrong Harry?"

Harry shook his head and fought the tears that shot into his eyes.

"No, no you didn't say anything wrong, it's just…nobody has ever told me that before."

"What?"

"Nobody has ever told me that he loves me. Of course, Hermione always signs her letters with 'Love, Hermione', I know that she and Ron like me a lot and I know that Ginny had a crush on me once, but nobody has ever told me that he loves me."

Sirius said nothing but pulled Harry into his arms.

"Your parents told you everyday though you might not remember. Every single day of your life as long as they were able to be with you. I told you as often as I saw you. Remus told you as often as he saw you. Don't think that you haven't been loved just because your protection demanded that you had to live with those muggles who didn't give a damn about you because they were too blind to see what a great boy they had in their care, don't think that. You have been loved and you still are loved, very much so."

Twice in two days Harry lost his battle against the tears. He buried his head on Sirius' chest and closed his eyes.

"I love you too Sirius."

"You don't need to say that just because I told you."

"I don't. I say it because I mean it."

"But you hardly know me."

"You were there for me. Whenever you could. The first thing you thought about when we first met, after we left the Shrieking Shack, was not that you had the chance to be charged innocent. No, you asked me whether I want to live with you. 

You were hunted by the Ministry as well as by the muggle police, but you put your own life in danger more than once to be there for me, to be close to me.

You were there after the Third Task, you didn't leave my side in Dumbledore's office. You did your best to make it easier for me to tell what I had seen.

You took me away from the Dursleys when I couldn't bear it anymore. Just one or two hours before you came, after Vernon had beaten me up again, I thought about giving up. I searched for a way to escape but I knew that I couldn't do it on my own. I gave up, I lost all hope. And then you came and took me out.

Last night, you didn't leave me alone with my nightmares though I can guess that your past gives you own nightmares enough.

You were there for me whenever I needed you.

For the first time in my life I feel completely safe, I feel at home. I know that there is somebody who really cares for me, not like a friend but more like a parent.

Believe me Sirius, I know you well enough to say that I love you."

Sirius tightened the embrace around the still crying Harry.

"Do you know what else?"

"No. What Harry?"

"It's not only the first time I heard it. It's also the first time I remember that I told somebody that I love him."

Sirius swallowed hard against the lump in his throat.


	6. Birthday

**Birthday**

The two following weeks indicated that this would turn out to become the best holiday Harry had ever had in his life.

Harry and Sirius spent their time playing Quidditch in the huge garden behind Sirius' house. Sirius turned out to be an excellent Quidditch player, he had been a beater on the house team while he was at school.

Two more times they went to London and Sirius also showed Harry the area around his new home. The rest of the time was filled with homework and storytelling in front of the fireplace during the evenings. Most of the times Remus joined them and the two told Harry about the Marauders and their pranks.

On the evening of July 30th , the day before Harry's sixteenth birthday, however, they forced Harry to tell about his own adventures during the times in which he had not known them. So far, there had never been the time to catch up on his first two years at school. So Harry started telling.

Harry told them about his own adventures during the first two years at Hogwarts and Remus and especially Sirius could hardly believe what he had experienced. 

After Harry had finished his tale about the basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets, Sirius just shook his head. He and Remus both looked flabbergasted.

"And the Ministry states that Hogwarts is safe? I don't want to think about what could have happened."

"Relax Sirius. Nothing has happened and looking back I can say that I had rather exiting years at Hogwarts so far. At least the first three years were very adventurous."

"You can nearly compete with the Marauders, Harry."

Remus grinned.

"Nearly? Sirius, those stories were far better than locking Snape into the girl's restroom for the entire night. Polyjuice Potion to get into the Slytherin Common Room, why did none of us have that idea?"

"Because it would have gone horribly wrong. None of us was as talented as Hermione is. We would have poisoned ourselves and you know it."

Remus nodded and laughed. Sirius checked his watch and looked at Harry.

"Time for bed. Tomorrow is going to be a long day and the two of us still have a lot of preparations to do."

He smiled at his godson and gently pushed him out of the room.

Harry went into his bedroom, put on his pyjamas and lay down on his four-poster. Hands behind his back he looked around the room. During the last two weeks he had decorated it with the help of Sirius. Posters of the Chudley Cannons covered the walls, orange dressed players zoomed in and out of sight from time to time. In the far corner stood a desk and a large shelf with books. Next to it stood his wardrobe. The large windowsill was covered with small pillows and Harry often sat there and looked into the forest behind the house.

Sirius had enchanted the ceiling so that it showed the nightly sky and the stars. 

Harry sighed. He had been here for hardly two weeks but this felt more like home than any other place had ever done. Tomorrow was his birthday but he really didn't need any presents at all. Sirius would be there, Remus, Hermione and the Weasleys. That would be enough presents for him.

Harry closed his eyes and fell asleep.

"Good morning!"

Harry shook his head lazily and opened his eyes. Sirius was standing in the doorframe and beamed at his godson.

"What time is it?"

"Half past seven. Time to get up."

Harry frowned his brow and shifted himself into a sitting position while Sirius sat down on the bed and pulled his godson into a tight embrace.

"Happy birthday Harry."

Harry smiled. "Are the others there yet?"

"Nope. Remus will come soon and make a birthday breakfast. I don't know why, I think he's afraid that I will blow up the kitchen."

"He has his point. Last week you nearly set the house on fire."

"That was an accident!"

"You tried to extinguish burning oil with water!"

Sirius laughed.

"Okay, maybe I'm not the most talented cook in the world, I admit that. But now, get up. There's something I need to talk about before the others get here."

Sirius left and Harry slowly went into the bathroom. After a long hot shower he dressed and went downstairs where Sirius directed him into the kitchen.

"Don't go into the living room before I tell you, okay?"

"Okay."

"Coffee? Tea? Hot chocolate?"

"Coffee please. I need something to wake me up."

Sirius placed a large cup of coffee in front of Harry and sat down beside him.

"Now, what did you want to talk about?"

Sirius shifted uneasily in his chair and pulled out a folder from a briefcase next to the table.

"I don't know whether your birthday is the right day for it but…well…now that I've started."

He put the folder to the table in front of Harry. Harry wondered what it was that made his godfather so nervous and wanted to open the folder. Sirius hand made him stop.

"Wait a moment. First I want you to know something.

I know that I am not your father and that I can never take his place. I don't try to do so. And it's only two more years until you'll be coming of age so it's rather late. You don't need to answer right now, okay? If you need time to think about it then take the time you need. No pressure, okay?"

Sirius removed his hand from the folder and Harry opened it. Inside were official looking papers. Harry scanned them.

'Sirius Black…godfather and guardian…Harry James Potter…case of adoption…'

Harry looked up and his gaze met a very nervous Sirius next to him.

"Adoption papers?"

Sirius nodded. "As I said, you don't need to sign them if you don't want to. Take time to think about it…"

He was interrupted and nearly thrown off his chair when Harry flung into his arms and hugged him.

"I don't need time to think about it! Yes! YES! Thank you so much Sirius, that's the best birthday present I've ever had!"

Sirius was startled by Harry's reaction but carefully hugged him back.

"You're sure about it? You don't need to do that because you think I want you to."

"I know that you want to do that and I'm doing this because I've never been more sure about anything in my entire life. You are my family and I want to have that officially."

Harry grabbed a pen and shifted through the pages.

"Where do I have to sign?"

"Let me see…there."

He pointed at a page and Harry scribbled his signature onto the line at the bottom. He pushed the papers towards Sirius. 

"Your turn."

Sirius smiled and signed the paper. "Done." He looked at Harry and pulled him close once more.

"Thank you Harry. You don't know how much that means to me."

"Not as much as it means to me."

They let go and Sirius turned away. He didn't want Harry to see the tears in his eyes but the movement with his sleeve across his face was unmistakable. It wouldn't have mattered anyway for Harry was crying as well.

"Now where is Remus? I could do with a breakfast!"

Ten minutes later sounds from the living room indicated that Remus Lupin had arrived. He stepped into the kitchen and gave Harry a warm hug.

"Happy birthday Harry. Hungry?"

"Thank you. And yes, I'm starving. Someone felt the urge to throw me out of bed in the middle of the night!"

Remus laughed and turned towards the fridge.

"Just give me fifteen minutes. I would tell you to wait in the living room, but you can't go there yet or it would spoil the surprise."

"More surprises?"

Remus threw a questioning look at Sirius who nodded and beamed.

"We've just signed the papers."

"That's great! Sirius, Harry, I'm so happy for you!"

He pulled both of them into a bone breaking hug.

"Moony, I appreciate it very much that you're so happy for us but we're starving. And if you don't let go we'll be suffocating as well."

Remus laughed and turned towards the fridge again.

Fifteen minutes later the table was laden with chocolate chip pancakes, maple syrup, scrambled eggs, toast, sausages, jam, juice, milk and tea.

They all started eating as if they really were close to starvation. Harry enjoyed his birthday breakfast very much, he couldn't recall when he had been so happy for the last time. 

"Finished?"

Sirius' voice broke his chain of thoughts.

"Yeah, it was great. Thank you Remus."

"You're perfectly welcome. Now, why don't we go into the living room? Your guests should be arriving soon."

They got up and went into the living room. Harry was stunned by what he saw there.

A large banner behind the sofa read "Happy Birthday Harry" in coloured and sparkling letters. The entire room was decorated with balloons and confetti, the stereo in the corner played the Witches Rock station and a large pile of packages was lying in one corner of the room.

Sirius was watching Harry concernedly.

"Too childish?"

Harry beamed.

"Perfect!"

At that moment the flames in the fireplace turned blue and green and only seconds later Hermione stepped out. She brushed and straightened her robes then ran towards Harry and hugged him.

"Happy birthday Harry!"

"Hi 'Mione. How are you doing?"

"Fine since I know that you're with Sirius right now. I was so worried about you."

Before Harry could answer that he found himself in a bone crushing bear hug from Ron.

"Happy birthday mate! Great to finally have a birthday party with you!"

"Yeah, I agree."

Harry turned around and saw that now the entire Weasley family had stepped out of the fireplace. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were there, the twins, Ron of course and Ginny, but also Percy, Bill and Charlie. He found himself in a chaos of hugs and kisses and just before he thought that he would suffocate they let go of him.

"It's so great that all of you have come."

Sirius cleared his throat from the other side of the room.

"Now, why don't we all sit down and you open up your presents?"

When all the chairs, armchairs and sofas in the house were occupied with guests Harry stared at the huge pile of packages that now lay on the coffee table.

"They're all for me?"

He sounded like a little child, but he really could not believe it. Sirius grinned.

"As far as I know, you're the only one whose birthday it is. Come on now, open them up. I'm curious."

Harry didn't know where to start and picked up one package at random. The card attached said 'Molly and Arthur'. Harry ripped off the paper and found a leather bound album. When he opened it, a picture of the entire Weasley family smiled and waved at him. Molly and Arthur stood in front of their house and beamed, Charlie and Bill tried to push each other out of the picture, Fred and George emptied a package of itching powder into the back of Percy's robes who tried to scratch his back and lost all of his intended dignity. Molly started telling the twins off. In the middle of the picture was Ron, he beamed into the camera and had one arm around Hermione's shoulder and one around Harry's. The picture had been taken at the end of the previous summer, Harry remembered.

The following pages showed various pictures of the Weasleys and of Harry's visits at the Burrow. Harry looked up at Molly and Arthur.

"Thank you so much. This is great!"

Molly smiled.

"Just remember that you're always welcome at the Burrow. You're a part of our family as well."

Arthur nodded.

"Thank you."

Harry opened another package before he would get too emotional. It was book sized.

"Do I need to look at the card or am I right in guessing that this one is from you Hermione?" Ron looked at his girlfriend.

"Oh shut up Ron. There's nothing wrong with books."

Harry shook his head and opened up the package. Of course it was a book. The title read _'Talking to snakes. Learning to control an often misunderstood ability. By Harper Rattling.' Harry looked up._

"How come you know that I always wanted something like that?"

Hermione blushed. "Well, we're living in each other's pocket for nearly the entire year. And Madam Pince once told me that you searched the library for books on Parselmouths. So I thought this might be the right thing."

"Thank you so much 'Mione!"

Harry hugged her.

"Here mate, open that one!"

Ron handed him a package.

"That's from me!"

Harry opened it and found a small book titled '_Quidditch tactics for team captains' and a smaller box. When Harry opened it, a well known tiny golden ball zoomed out through the room._

"You play Quidditch for five years now and now that you can do training throughout the summer of course you need a snitch. You can also shrink it and use it for catching training inside of the house. And that book has an entire chapter on cheating!"

Harry beamed.

"Thanks mate! That's great!"

The other packages held a pair of dragon hide gloves from Charlie which were very good for Quidditch during the winter, Bill gave him a training set on cursing and curse breaking, Percy had a biography of different Aurors for him. Harry had told him the previous summer that he thought about becoming an Auror after school like Sirius and his father. Ginny gave him a leather band with an emerald gem attached to it. 

"It's charmed. It has a protection spell on it. I don't know if it works but I thought it was a good idea."

"Ginny, it's beautiful. And judged from the past years I can do with a good protection spell."

He hugged her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. From the colour her face turned to, Sirius guessed that the crush Harry had told him about was not over yet. He smiled.

Fred and George gave him a huge box which he opened carefully.

"Don't worry, it won't explode."

"I just wanted to be on the safe side."

Inside of the box were many smaller ones.

"What are those?"

"Samples." George grinned. "If we want to open up the Joke Shop next year we need a certain stock of jokes to begin with. Those are samples of all our tricks and jokes with guides on how to use them. At the bottom is a leaflet with some useful counter spells, just in case."

"George and Fred Weasley! You are not serious about this!"

Molly yelled at her sons but the twinkle in her eyes betrayed her. She had gotten used to the career plans of her sons over the years.

Sirius meanwhile had grabbed the box and scanned the contents. His eyes were bright as if he was a child on Christmas day. Harry pulled the box from his godfather's hands.

"Hey! Those are mine. Maybe I give you some of them if you ask politely."

Sirius stuck his tongue out.

"I only wanted to check whether there are some pranks I could use on good old Moony!"

"Sirius! Remember? Never play a prank on a fellow Marauder! Marauder rule number one!"

"It has been broken before Remus. And if I remember right it was 'Never play a life threatening prank on a fellow Marauder'."

Both laughed but Fred's and George's jaws had dropped and they stared at Sirius and their professor in disbelief.

"You are…the Marauders?"

"Creators of the Marauder's Map?"

Sirius grinned. "The very ones. Did Harry never tell you?"

The twins shook their heads. "No, he didn't."

"Well, then let me introduce Moony to you. I myself am Padfoot. Harry's father James was Prongs and a fellow classmate named Peter was Wormtail. But Remus and I are the remaining Marauders."

Fred still shook his head but then bowed in front of Sirius and Remus.

"We owe you very much. Life would have been less interesting without your map." He grinned. "We tried to keep your tradition up."

"And from what Harry has told me you succeeded. Couldn't have wished for different successors."

"Professor Lupin is a Marauder." George shook his head. "I don't know whether I will ever be able to see you as a teacher again."

Lupin laughed and then turned towards Harry again. He pointed at the last package on the table.

"Open it up. It's from Sirius and me."

"You really don't need to give me another present. You've done so much already."

Sirius interrupted.

"But we want to. Now open it up."

The package was very large and Harry had difficulties in moving it without throwing the other presents onto the floor.

On top of the package was a black book. Harry opened it up and his jaw dropped.

_Journal of James Potter_

He looked at his godfather.

"James started writing a journal during our fifth year. In there is his entire relationship with your mother and the first year of your life. Remus has had it during my time in Azkaban and we thought that now you're old enough to handle it."

Tears shot into Harry's eyes and quickly he returned to the other contents of the package. There was a large book on the process of becoming an animagus which made Sirius give Harry a secretive look. Harry understood. If he wanted, Sirius would teach him how to become an animagus.

"I think Fred and George will envy you for the last part of the present Harry."

Harry looked a little puzzled because the last part of the present was another book. But it was empty. 

"Why? What is it?"

"Now Harry! Try to figure out how it works."

Harry thought hard for a moment but the hint about Fred and George finally gave him the clue he needed. He pulled out his wand from the pocket of his robes, pointed it at the first page and said:

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

Immediately words formed on the empty pages.

_Welcome friend! Misters Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs proudly present: The Marauder's Journal. Choose a page, repeat the declaration and the Marauders will show you how to make Hogwarts an interesting place. Enjoy!_

The words faded again but before Harry could say anything, new words formed. This time Harry could recognize his godfather's untidy scrawl and Remus' handwriting. They took turns in writing.

Dear Harry! Happy 16th birthday! This journal will show you the Marauder's time at Hogwarts. We have started writing it during our second year and believe me, it is worth reading. There are some stories worth telling in it.

What your godfather wants to tell you is that you can read or own view onto the pranks we played and on how your father, Sirius and Peter managed to become animagi. We always wrote things down after they happened and have not changed it since. We hope you like it.

Enjoy your birthday!

Remus and Sirius

P.S. Remember that I am responsible for you now. Don't get yourself into trouble like we did. Find out which mistakes we made when we got caught and avoid them.

Again what your godfather means is: Don't try to do those things yourself. You'll only get yourself into trouble. Don't be as catastrophic as we were. Stay out of trouble.

No, I meant that he should try not to get caught!

Harry, don't try those pranks. I know a Marauder's handwriting and after all I am your teacher!

Spoil-sport!

The words faded again and Harry looked up. Everybody was looking at him expectantly. Harry shook his head in disbelief. He got up and pulled his godfather and Remus into a tight embrace. 

"Thank you so much! I can't thank you enough!"

Sirius patted Harry's back.

"It's okay. Those things were meant to be handed to our children and up to now you're the only Marauder offspring that exists."

They let go of each other and Sirius turned towards their guests again.

"Well, I think it's time for the cake. Agree?"

Twelve heads nodded and they began to arrange the living room so that they could have their coffee and cake there. Mrs. Weasley had brought a huge chocolate cake with icing and Harry realized that he was hungry again. When he checked his watch he realized that it was already past noon. The unpacking had taken more than two hours.

After coffee and tea they went outside and had a match of Quidditch.

Sirius, Mr. Weasley, Bill, Charlie and Percy played against Harry, Fred, George, Ron and Ginny. Hermione refereed. Harry soon realized that Charlie really was an excellent seeker, two times he had seen the snitch before Harry had and only luck prevented them from losing the game. But in the end Harry's team won after he had caught the snitch in a spectacular dive. His team mates were congratulating him when Sirius stormed towards his godson. He was panting.

"Don't…ever…dive towards…the ground at…such a speed…again! I thought…you would crash! Do you want…to give me a…heart attack?"

Harry looked at him and grinned.

"Sirius, you're getting old."

Remus broke into a laughing fit and distracted Sirius' attention from Harry. He changed into a dog and started chasing Remus through the garden. Remus could hardly run because he still was laughing so hard and in the end Sirius threw him to the ground. Sirius groaned but Remus only patted his head.

"Good dog. Now, let's go inside, shall we?"

Sirius changed back and shook his head.

"Everyone has turned against me. I can't believe it."

In the evening they had a barbeque in the garden and it was long after midnight when the last Weasley's went home. Ron and Hermione promised to visit Harry for a week near the end of the holiday and left through the fireplace. Sirius fell back onto the sofa.

"Now, that was a party. I can't move anymore."

Remus wanted to say something but Sirius raised his hand.

"If you tell me once more that I get old I will hex you into next month."

"You behave like children, did you know that?"

Both men turned towards Harry.

"Hey, I didn't say I don't like it. Thank you for the party, it was just great."

"Glad you liked it. Now, I don't know what you do now but I need to go to bed. Remus, do you stay here?"

"You only want me to help you clean up tomorrow, don't you?"

"No. I'm a wizard, don't forget that. Cleaning up is no problem. But making breakfast…"

Remus laughed.

"Convinced. Good night you two."

"Good night Remus."

"Yeah, good night."

Harry was so tired that he was asleep the moment his head touched his pillow. His last thoughts were that this had definitely been the best birthday of his life.


	7. Fighting

_Well, thank you all for reviewing. I was really stunned that you like my little story that much. Sorry that the last two chapters dragged along a little, but I wanted to give Harry some happy time before the drama begins *evil grin*._

_So this chapter is the last to prepare for what is about to come. I know you want to know who of the Marauders is going to die and how it's going to happen – guess! *another evil grin*_

_But you'll find out in the next chapter, I promise._

_I'm editing the parts of the story I have written so far right now so there will be a couple of updates soon (either tonight or tomorrow evening). After that I will have to go on writing and I cannot promise that I will update so often. Maybe twice or three times a week if things go right and my muse doesn't leave me. But I have to continue my other story as well for in this story the action is about to take place soon._

_But now I seize boring you with my rubbish talk and let you continue with my story._

_Enjoy!_

_Here it finally is. A day later than planned because Fanfiction.net felt the urge of doing weird things. Not my fault folks!_

**Fighting**

Three days later, Sirius apparated in Remus' kitchen. His friend had asked him to come over for tea, he had only said that he wanted to talk to him. Sirius didn't like the idea of leaving Harry alone, but eventually he had seen that Harry was no child anymore and could very well spend an afternoon at home alone. His physical wounds had healed completely and Sirius trusted Dumbledore's protection around his home enough to leave his godson for the afternoon.

He stepped into the kitchen where Remus was busy preparing tea.

"Hi Moony."

Remus turned around.

"Oh, hi Sirius. Tea?"

"Well, you asked me to come over for tea so – yes."

He sat down on the kitchen table and waited until Remus had put the teapot, cups, milk and sugar on the table and sat down himself.

"So what is it?"

Remus raised his eyebrows. "What is what?"

Sirius sighed. "Don't play stupid with me Remus. If you had wanted to have tea with me you'd simply have come over to my place. You wanted to talk to me and I want to know about what."

Remus helped himself to some tea and thought about the right way to put what was on his mind.

"I have been at Hogwarts this morning."

"Well, you teach there again so that's nothing unusual."

"Dumbledore has asked me into his office. Said he wanted to talk to me. Fudge was there as well.

Sirius, why didn't you tell me that Fudge offered you your old job again? And – more important – why didn't you tell me that you refused?"

Sirius slammed his hand down onto the table.

"Why do Fudge, Dumbledore and you talk about me behind my back?"

"Calm down Sirius. We've not been talking behind your back, they only wanted to know whether you told me. None of us can imagine why you did refuse. Being an Auror was…well, it was what you did best. The Ministry needs good Aurors now with all the fracas Voldemort and the Death Eaters are creating and you were one of the best."

Sirius stared at a point behind Remus' ear.

"I don't want to. Not with those people running the Ministry. Fudge is the incarnation of incompetence and the people he gathers around him are not better. People like Arthur Weasley don't get a chance. It took them more than a year to admit that Voldemort is back and now that they have allowed him to crowd his followers around himself they suddenly call it 'most urgent' to do something against him."

"So what do you intend to do? Walk around on your own with your wand in hand and hunt Voldemort? Without concept, without planning, without help?"

Sirius said nothing but sipped his tea. Finally he spoke.

"I'm tired Remus. I've been on the run for three years, I just want to lie low for a while. And there's still Harry. I have to look after Harry."

Remus shook his head.

"Harry will be at Hogwarts in less than a month and won't return until Christmas. That's a very lame excuse Sirius. He's safe at Hogwarts and you know it."

"Oh yes, Hogwarts is the safest place. So far he has only had to cope with Voldemort disguised as his teacher, a mountain troll running amok in school, a squib as DADA teacher who wanted to erase his memory, a basilisk, a young Voldemort who wanted to kill him and Ginny Weasley, another DADA teacher who enrolled him for the TriWizard Tournament in which he nearly got killed and had to aid to Voldemort's rise to power. Did I forget something?"

Remus breathed out heavily. This was going to become very difficult.

"He's as safe as he could be. He has a talent to get himself into trouble like in the case with the troll, and he often refuses to tell the teachers when he stumbles across something unusual, you know that. But he's safe there. He's under the protection of Dumbledore…"

"Ah yes, Dumbledore. I forgot about him. Of course he only wants the best for Harry. Maybe that's the reason why he sent him back to the Dursleys every summer until they nearly killed him."

"Sirius, you're twisting the facts and you know it. Try to be reasonable."

"I am. Hogwarts is not safe and Dumbledore has failed to protect him more than once. Besides he has other things to do, he can't focus on Harry's safety alone. I have to do."

"And how are you planning to do that?"

"I'll move to Hogsmeade during term. That way I can be near him whenever something happens."

"Sirius, you're nuts. Have you told Harry about that? No? Well I think I know his answer. NO. He really likes you a lot but he would not want you to give up your life because of him. You need something to do, something to distract you. You're behaving like a hen!"

"I'm only trying to protect my godson! Nobody else seems to be able to, so I do it."

Sirius got up and started pacing the kitchen. It was obvious that he was angry now, Remus knew. He sighed.

"I know that you only want the best for Harry but what could you do? If you were living in Hogsmeade and something would happen at Hogwarts, well, by the time you would notice and arrive at the castle it would already be over. Just for once in your life, be reasonable.

It is important that the Ministry does everything possible to hunt down the Death Eaters and track Voldemort. You are right, Fudge is as incompetent as one can be but exactly because he is, we need to have people working for the Ministry who know what is at stake. People who know what needs to be done. People like you.

I know that Harry's safety is important, but other things are important as well.

Maybe you don't want to hear it but you can't have things your way all the time. You're so stubborn and it would be a lot easier for you if you'd start thinking from time to time."

Sirius stopped pacing and looked at Remus.

"What exactly are you talking about?"

"For example your little rescue-operation. Storming off alone, taking Harry and turning his uncle into a toad. There would have been other ways."

"You have seen Harry, haven't you? They have been starving him! He must have lost more than fifteen pounds in only four weeks! He's not been allowed any contact with me or with his friends! And they hit him! He's had a broken rib, his left eye was black and swollen and he had welts on his back! If you hadn't hindered me, I would be really guilty of murder right now! I had to take him out of there! And I didn't go alone, you went with me!"

"No I went **after you, that's a difference! I went after you to prevent you from cursing those muggles. **

Listen, I don't say that it was wrong to take him out there I simply say that there would have been an easier way. You could have talked to Dumbledore, he could have lifted the spells. Apparate in, take Harry, apparate out. But no, Mr. Black wanted his personal revenge!"

"Oh, is it that what we're talking about? Listen, after all they've done to Harry during the past years they had earned it!"

Now it was Remus' turn to become angry. He stood up and placed himself in front of Sirius.

"You never think about consequences that's your problem. You didn't think about possible consequences the day you took Harry away. The Ministry could have refused to give him into your care after you had cursed his uncle! They could have sent him back! But no, you had to do it. 

Just as well you don't think about consequences now. You want to play Harry's bodyguard for the next year without thinking that there are more urgent things that need to be done. Done by people who know what they're dealing with because otherwise they could go horribly wrong! But no, you leave it in the hands of Fudge to do them.

You always state that you want what's best for Harry, but have you ever asked him what he thinks about your idea?

You'd have done if you'd really care about him!"

Sirius grabbed the front of Remus' robes and yelled at him. 

"Obviously I am the only person who really cares about Harry! Dumbledore considered it enough to keep him functioning and you…you don't even know what it's like to have someone to care for! How do you dare to judge what I do?"

"Sirius!" Lupin stared into Sirius' blue eyes. "That's enough! You know that I'm as concerned about Harry as you are, but everything that relates to him always has an effect on others as well. He still is Voldemort's main aim, and we have to keep that in mind. He needs to be protected and everything is done to protect him. And while he is at school this protection does not involve you whether you like it or not! You have other things to do, you have to go back to work and help the Ministry find Voldemort. Concerning Harry you're too emotional and you know it!"

Sirius now lost control and pushed Lupin back against the wall.

"I am too emotional?  Do you remember where I spent twelve years of my life? Azkaban! Do I really need to remind you of what emotions do to you if you're imprisoned there?"

"Maybe you should start telling me for you have never talked about that time!" Lupin now pushed Sirius back as well. "If you like keeping a miraculous man, continue it. But if you have a problem with what I just said, then spit it out!"

"I do have a serious problem with what you just said, believe me. I've scraped my living there for twelve years, more dead than alive. And every time I allowed myself to think about something happy from the past, to think about Harry, James, Lily or about you, they sucked it out of me!  I was punished worse than you can imagine for every single attempt to remember something happy! I tried to kill myself twice, but they didn't even allow me that salvation! 

And while I went through this, you just continued living as if nothing had happened! You had your normal life and you could remain as happy as you wanted in the belief that it was all my fault! 

Tell me Remus, how easy has it really been to believe it? What did you think the moment they told you that I had betrayed James and Lily? Oh, let me guess: you started hating me with all your might and clung to that thought for the rest of those twelve years without even the will to make up your own mind about it!"

It happened so fast, Sirius had no time to react. Lupin's hand hit his face so hard that he was thrown back. He held his own hand to his face and when he removed it he relized that his nose was bleeding.

Lupin stared at Sirius and the amount of anger and even hatred in both pairs of eyes was unbearable.

"You've gone too far, Sirius! It's not my fault that you did never talk about your time in Azkaban before, but don't ever dare to assume what I've been through after James and Lily died! NEVER! And now leave, before I loose the last bit of control I have over myself. GO!"

"You've had the easiest time of us after James' and Lily's death and now you dare talking to me like that. That's not the Remus I knew. The Remus I knew would not try to blame others for the fact that he never made up his own mind!"

He looked into Remus' eyes but the normally warm golden-brown orbs showed not a single friendly emotion.

"If that is really what you think, then I don't want to see you again. Never."

He looked away and just pointed his hand towards the door. He was breathing heavily.

"You get this back Remus, I promise. I don't know how I could have been so mistaken in a person. You, of all the people I know! You make me sick!"

Sirius turned around and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. When he had left Lupin's cottage, he disapparated.

Remus sunk down on a chair in his living room and buried his head in his hands.

What had gone wrong? Why had this conversation taken this nasty turn? He had just wanted ask Sirius why he refused to pick up his old job again.

Of course, he had been more than happy for Sirius when his trial had ended with the judges announcing him innocent. Nobody had earned it more than Sirius. And he had thought a lot about the time during which he had believed that his closest friend was a murderer. But he had not been prepared for such a conversation at all.

He already was sorry for having slapped Sirius.

But he had to think of something else. Tonight was full moon and it would be only an hour or two until the moon would come up. Then he would transform into a werewolf. He should go and check the wards around the garden shelter in which he locked himself up during his transformations.

Remus sighed and left the cottage through the back door.

Sirius had been in a miserable state when he returned from Lupin that night. Harry looked at his godfather in disbelief.

"Have you had a fight? What happened to your nose?"

Sirius went straight into the bathroom and returned moments later, pressing a wet tissue against his nose.

"Nothing. Don't worry."

"Sirius. I know that something's wrong, so why don't you tell me?" He gave Sirius a concerned look that arose painful memories in him. Sirius sighed. That boy was so much like James, it really hurt sometimes.

"I have been brawling with Remus. We didn't share an opinion, got into a fight, said things we didn't mean to say, he slapped me. Really, I don't want to talk about it."

"Go back to his place and talk to him."

Sirius shook his head.

"Would be of no use. It's full moon tonight, and you can't argue reasonably with him when he's a werewolf. Don't know why."

He smiled shortly. "And you? How are you doing?"

"I'm fine Sirius, like I told you yesterday, and this morning when I got up, and an hour ago when you asked me five times whether it was okay for me if you left me here for an hour. I'm doing fine. Really Sirius, you don't need to behave like a hen."

"I was only concerned about you. Two weeks ago you didn't look very good. You were only half-conscious when I arrived at your room and didn't even recognize me at first!"

"I'm really thankful that you rescued me. Believe me. It's just…I'm not used that somebody is there who's really interested in me. I still have the feeling that I have to behave as if I wasn't there. And you obviously have no experience in guarding somebody, so you exaggerate a little. Give us some time to find a middle way, okay?"

Sirius nodded. "Sure. We have all the time we need, I'm not used to that fact as well. I feel that I have to do everything immediately, in case that there's no time for it later. But let's quit that.

What do you want to do tonight?"

"Well, I would advice that you clean your face and change your shirt. You look like a vampire who's not been taught to eat properly. And then there is this bloody potions homework. I simply don't get along with it."

Sirius grinned. "You don't really ask me for help with your potions homework, do you? Well, I'll do anything I can, but don't expect too much. You're entering sixth year now, I could hardly keep up until third."

Sirius went upstairs to change his shirt and cleaned his face in the bathroom. Then he went down again and sat down beside Harry in the living room.

They discussed the Healing Potions Harry had to study until late in the night when Sirius finally decided that it was enough.

"Bed now Harry. Snape surely isn't worth loosing sleep about. Good night."

Harry closed his book and rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. "You're right. Good night Sirius."

Harry went upstairs and Sirius followed him after cleaning the dishes in the kitchen with a wave of his wand. It was definitely too late to do it muggle style.


	8. Worst News Possible

_I have already finished it and I thought that I could not let you all wait any longer. Believe me, I have suffered terribly while writing this chapter. _

_Don't hate me for it, what happens here is essential for the further development of the story. I won't stay that focussed on Harry alone, there will be some Voldie in it soon. And Lucius. And when Harry finally gets back to Hogwarts (around chapter 10 I think) some Slytherins as well. Maybe some Draco even earlier. But I can't promise now. I'm still editing and have to keep my timeline in order, it has been bruised worse than Harry's back after I changed so much of the story._

_READ AND REVIEW, PLEASE!!! I like hearing your opinion, don't hesitate to tell me what you don't like. It can only help me improve._

_And once again, PLEASE DON'T HATE ME FOR WHAT I DO IN THIS CHAPTER!_

_Enjoy – ups! Shouldn't have said that!_

**Worst news possible**

Sirius woke up surprisingly early the next morning. Normally Sirius liked to sleep long, but last night's sleep had not been like resting at all. He felt rather restless, as if there was something urgent he had wanted to do but had forgotten to carry out.

At six thirty he decided that he would not find no sleep anymore, took a shower, dressed and went downstairs to prepare breakfast.

Much to his surprise, Harry was already awake and rummaged the fridge for possible breakfast ingredients. The kitchen smelled of coffee.

"Morning Harry." Sirius yawned and sat down. "Already up?"

"Morning Sirius. Couldn't sleep anymore. I dreamt that Snape cursed me with a serious illness and made me drink Malfoy's healing potion. Found no sleep after that anymore. Do you want waffles?"

Sirius laughed. "No need to ask me that, waffles are always welcome. How are you doing today…ooops, shouldn't have asked that, should I?"

Harry smiled. "I'm doing fine, thanks. Let's agree that you're allowed to ask once a day. That's okay for me."

"Fine. Truly a Gryffindor's decision." Sirius poured himself some coffee while Harry prepared the waffles.

At that moment, an owl flew through the window and dropped a rolled copy of the Daily Prophet onto the table in front of Sirius. 

Sirius had just wanted to lift the cup of coffee onto his lips and now reached for the five Knuts that lay on the board next to him with the other hand. He paid the owl which flew off immediately.

Sirius unrolled the paper.

Harry heard the cup fall onto the floor and the hot coffee splashed against the legs of his jeans. He turned around.

"Sirius, watch…" 

Harry didn't finish that sentence.

His godfather sat at the kitchen table and stared at the front page of the Daily Prophet. His face had turned white like the tablecloth, his jaw had dropped and the hand that had held the cup trembled like mad.

"Sirius, what's wrong?"

Harry stepped beside Sirius and looked over his shoulder. The picture of a burned down house with the Dark Mark shining over it in the sky covered half of the front page.

"That's Remus' house…" Sirius voice broke. He jumped up from his chair and nearly knocked Harry off his feet.

"Sorry Harry, I need to speak to Dumbledore immediately." He ran off towards the living room, heading for the fireplace.

Harry sat down on Sirius' chair and started reading the article.

**_Dark Mark over cottage of Hogwarts Professor_**

_by Angelica Miller_

_Today in the early morning hours, the inhabitants of a small wizarding town near Ivy Hatch reported a burning house to the local authorities. The reports also spoke of the Dark Mark floating over the house._

_Ministry Aurors who arrived at the scene found those reports confirmed. The cottage, belonging to Remus J. Lupin, a Professor at __Hogwarts__School__ of Witchcraft and Wizardry, had been burned to the grounds. _

_The Ministry did not give any statements concerning the whereabouts of Remus Lupin, but one of the Aurors who had been present at the scene confirmed the rumours that the burned remains of a human body had been found in the garden shelter._

_Lupin, known to be a werewolf since early childhood, was known to lock himself in precisely this garden shelter when transforming to keep himself from harming people, and yesterday happened to be full moon._

_It can therefore be more than only guessed that the intruders, supposedly Death Eaters for the Dark Mark is known to be the sign of You-Know-Who, burned down the shelter with Lupin in it  while Lupin was in his werewolf state. Werewolves are known to transform back into human form when they die, therefore the human remains in the garden shelter could very well belong to Remus Lupin despite the fact that he should have been in his canine form that night._

_The question why He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named could have an interest in getting Remus Lupin out of the way can easily be answered by Lupin's close connection with Albus Dumbledore, presently headmaster at Hogwarts, and Sirius Black who has been imprisoned in Azkaban for twelve years though being innocent as his spectacular trial revealed not long ago._

_Black is known to be godfather and future guardian to Harry Potter, and probably this connection to The Boy Who Lived, next to his constant work against the Dark Side alongside Dumbledore and the Ministry, has been a reason for this mortal attack on Remus Lupin._

_The Ministry has scheduled a statement concerning this incident for this afternoon, 3.oo p.m. in which we hope to hear more explanations on the incident. _

Though Harry had not had any breakfast yet he felt as if he was going to throw up any second. Remus was dead. That couldn't be true, could it? Sirius had been with him only hours before this had happened. They had been fighting over something. 

'Oh my god. Remus is dead and the last thing he and Sirius have done was fighting. That will be too much for him, why can't he just have a break? A normal life? Why has it always to be Sirius?' 

Lupin was all that was left from his time at school and Harry knew how close the two were.

He rose from his chair. He had to look after Sirius, and maybe Dumbledore knew more.

He found Sirius in an armchair in front of the fireplace, his head buried in his hands. When he heard Harry enter the living room, he raised his head.

"Sirius, have you reached Dumbledore?"

Sirius shook his head. "He was not in his office. I'm sure he'll contact me as soon as he finds the time, but I can't stand sitting here and wait. I need to know what happened to Remus."

"You have not read that article, have you?"

Sirius shook his head. "No. Normally, whenever the Dark Mark is seen somewhere it says just some rubbish about Voldemort's rise to power, that something has to be done against it and that the Ministry is incompetent in fighting them." His eyes suddenly widened.

"What does that article say?"

Harry crouched down beside Sirius' chair. 

"Sirius, it says that the Death Eaters burned down the house as well as the cottage. And that they found…they…" Harry breathed heavily and decided to tell it as quickly as possible. "They found the burned remains of a body in the garden shelter. They think it's been Lupin, transforming back to human shape when he died. I'm so sorry Sirius."

"No! No, that can't be true. He's not dead, he can't be dead. We're talking about Remus here, he would not die like that! He wouldn't dare!"

His jaw started shaking and he ran his hands across his face and through his hair as if trying to find something to hold on to.

Harry bent over and carefully embraced his godfather.

"Maybe Dumbledore knows more. There's still the chance that the Prophet's wrong and that the body in the shelter was not Lupin's. Don't give up hope."

Sirius just shook his head and tried to wipe away a tear from his eye.

"It was full moon, and Remus always locked himself in the garden shelter when he transformed. You know him Harry, you know how careful he is. He is so scared of hurting another human being. Who else could that body belong to? Hardly anybody ever comes out to visit him, and if they do they usually don't lock themselves in the garden shelter."

Sirius now could not hold back the tears anymore.

"Sirius, maybe the Prophet was just spreading rumours. Maybe there has been no body inside that cottage at all. You know what the Prophet's like, they'd do anything to sell their paper."

Harry let go of Sirius and looked at his godfather from some distance. "You don't believe that it could have been anybody else, do you?"

Sirius shook his head. "No, I don't see any possibility how it could have been somebody else. Remus would have contacted me after this, he would have let us know that he's okay."

"Sirius, are you there?"

Dumbledore's head appeared in the fireplace.

"Yes Dumbledore, I'm here. What has happened to Remus? Is it true what the Daily Prophet reports?"

Dumbledore sighed.

"I had hoped you would get to know in a different way. But yes, it is true. Remus' house was burned down as well as the garden shelter. And there were the burned remains of a human body inside of that shelter, I really don't want to know who felt like sharing that piece of information with the Daily Prophet.

Sirius, are you sure that Remus always locked himself in there at full moon?"

Sirius nodded. "On the rare occasions during the last two years when I was with him on full moon we ran free, but as far as I know he never did that when he was alone. You know how scared he was that he could bite somebody."

Dumbledore sighed again.

"Then I think there is no reason to believe that it has not been Remus in the shelter. Or did he expect somebody that night?"

Sirius shook his head. "I was with him until about eight in the evening. We…we had a fight and he threw me out. I don't know about any other appointment he made for that evening and I don't think he has made one. It was full moon, who should have visited him? It would have been too dangerous."

"Sirius, I'm so sorry. If there is anything I can do for you…"

"Don't Dumbledore. Don't say you're sorry. I can't stand that. There's nothing you can do, I have to cope with it on my own. Just keep me informed if the Ministry has any suspicion on the culprits. If I can lay my hands on them…"

"Sirius, no acts of self-justice please. That won't bring Remus back but could cost you Harry."

Sirius slowly nodded and Dumbledore vanished. The moment he had gone, Sirius broke down completely. He started sobbing heavily, burying his head in his hands.

Harry didn't know what to do. He had never seen anybody in such a situation and found it hard to say something.

Instead of talking, he pulled Sirius towards himself again and stroke his godfather's back.

"Shhh, it's okay Sirius. It's okay."

"Nothing is okay. Nothing! Especially not the way Remus and I were when we split up. It was like cancelling the friendship. I've said awful things to him Harry, and I won't ever have a chance to tell him I'm sorry. And I've already been sorry when I returned here. If I had only listened to your advice and gone back to the cottage! I could have saved him."

"No Sirius, you couldn't. I can't imagine those Death Eaters appear alone or in pairs. They would have outnumbered the two of you and killed you as well. Don't start accusing yourself for it, it's not been your fault."

But Sirius didn't listen he just continued crying into Harry's shoulder.

[_Later that afternoon]_

"Sirius, please talk about it! I cannot stand this anymore!"

Harry looked at his godfather who had spent the last five hours since noon sitting on the sofa and staring at the wall. Harry didn't know whether this was an improvement for Sirius had tried to damage every breakable piece of furniture in the house before that. But at least he had been crying then, he had screamed and yelled, he had shown that he was still alive.

Harry sighed and put down a cup on the table in front of Sirius.

"Drink that. Please!"

"What's that?"

"Tea."

Sirius shook his head. "Pour some whiskey into it, then I'll drink it."

"No I won't pour anything in it. I won't let you get drunk, that wouldn't help. Do me a favour and drink it, please."

Sirius nodded hesitantly and slowly lifted the cup into his hand. But his hands were shaking so much that he had to put it down on the table again.

"Sirius please. What have you and Lupin been fighting about?"

Sirius just shook his head.

"It would only make you feel worse about it, believe me."

"Make me feel worse?"

Harry grabbed the copy of the Daily Prophet that lay beside the sofa and started quoting:

"_The question why He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named could have an interest in getting Remus Lupin out of the way can easily be answered by Lupin's close connection with Albus Dumbledore, presently headmaster at Hogwarts, and Sirius Black who has been imprisoned in Azkaban for twelve years though being innocent as his spectacular trial revealed not long ago._

_Black is known to be godfather and future guardian to Harry Potter, and probably this connection to The Boy Who Lived, next to his constant work against the Dark Side alongside Dumbledore and the Ministry, has been a reason for this mortal attack on Remus Lupin."_

"They already blame it on me, so what could you tell me that would make me feel even worse?"

He put an arm around Sirius and this time his godfather let him do so. He had refused to be touched since he had started staring at the wall in the living room.

"He…we…well, when I was at Remus' place I told him that I didn't want to continue working for the Ministry because I wanted to stay close to Hogwarts. He said that I was acting unreasonably and that I dodge my responsibilities and never think about the consequences of my actions. He was angry that I didn't tell Dumbledore about my plans to take you away from Privet Drive and that he got involved into that toad-incident because he went after me to prevent me from doing something really stupid.

Then he said that I was too emotional, and I just flipped out. I remembered everything I had to suffer because of my emotions while I was in Azkaban, and merely thinking about it made me go nuts again.

I pushed Remus back against the wall and yelled at him. I shouted that he didn't know what I've been through and that he couldn't judge what is going on inside me. I…I said that he could only say something like that because it was so easy for him during that time. I said that he was resting on the thought that it was all my fault and could dodge all the pain with his hatred for me without ever making up his own mind.

He hit me for that. I've never seen him like that before, and believe me, we've had many fights before. He shouted that I was not in the position to judge what he had been through and told me to leave. He said that he didn't want to see me again if that was what I really meant and I left. 

I didn't want to,…I mean,…I already was sorry but…I was so angry and thought…I never imagined that he would not…that I would never…see him alive again. I would have done differently if I had only known…"

"Sirius, I don't know what to say. But nobody could have guessed what would happen. You cannot dodge every fight because you fear that the other one might be dying before you can make it up. I'm sure Remus knew that you didn't mean it."

Sirius shook his head and wiped away the tears from his face. 

"No. I have never talked about my time in Azkaban, he never knew what I've been through. I should have told him, then we wouldn't have had this fight. It's all so unfair. I thought that I could lead a normal life now that my innocence is proven.

I thought that I could eventually settle down and take care of you, just like I promised your parents. But no, first thing that happens after that is that one of my friends dies. No, my best friend. The only friend left."

Harry pulled Sirius' head towards his chest where his godfather started crying into Harry's shirt.

"You know Harry, you shouldn't be doing this." Sirius said after a while. "After all, I'm the adult here. I should be the one to listen to your problems, I should be there to comfort you and not the other way around."

"Well, but obviously you are the one who has a reason to be comforted, I don't. Really Sirius, stop thinking that much. Just stop thinking."

He stroke his godfather's back.

"I wish I could. But I can't. Not yet. Not soon." And he started crying again.

_Okay, I can already see you flaming me for letting Remus die, please forgive me. _

_But another thought struck me while re-reading it. Can a werewolf really die like that? I didn't even consider it while I wrote the chapter. Let's just assume that even if the fire and the smoke would not have killed the werewolf it would have most certainly killed the human after Remus changed back. That's why I decided to change it and set the attack in the early morning hours just before posting this one._


	9. Coping

**Coping**

Later, Harry could hardly tell how they had gotten through the next days. Sirius didn't talk very much and refused to eat. Harry could also tell that he didn't sleep very much and whenever he fell asleep, he woke up again screaming for Lupin.

'He's not going to get through this. Not if he's continuing like that.' Harry thought to himself as he stood in the kitchen and cooked broth and tea.

He would force Sirius to eat something even if he had to threaten him, he would not watch his godfather starve himself to death.

"Harry?" It was not Sirius for it was a female voice and it came from the living room. Harry curiously stepped towards the fireplace.

"Mrs. Weasley? I'm so glad to see you. How are you doing?"

Molly Weasley's upper part of the body could be seen in the fireplace and she shook her head.

"You don't need to ask me how I'm doing. Would it be okay if I apparated?"

Harry nodded. "Sure."

Mrs. Weasley's head vanished and a short moment later she apparated in the living room. She gave Harry a short smile and then hugged him tightly. Seeing his puzzled look she explained.

"Albus has lifted the Anti-Apparition Spell for a while so that I could come here. Harry, how are you doing?"

Harry raised his eyebrows. "I don't know. Not fine, I think. Sirius is a complete mess and I don't know what to do for him."

Mrs. Weasley nodded.

"Dumbledore asked me to look after the two of you. I would have come before but Arthur told me to give Sirius some time to calm down. Why don't we go into the kitchen, drink something and you tell me what's weighing on you."

"Okay. I just made some tea."

They sat down on the kitchen table and Mrs. Weasley took Harry's hand into hers. "Tell me."

"Actually there's hardly anything to tell. Sirius doesn't sleep, he doesn't eat and he hardly talks. I wanted to force him to eat some broth before you came here."

"And how do you feel about it?"

Harry shook his head.

"Bad. I hate seeing him like that, but there's nothing I can think of to make him feel better. Nothing. I don't know what to do. I don't allow myself to think about what has happened to Remus. I liked him a lot." Harry's voice broke and he started crying. Mrs. Weasley got up and took him into her arms.

"Shhh, it's okay. Nobody expects you to be stronger than you are. But I'm sure it already helps Sirius that you're here. He has not had you around for so many years, and Merlin knows we were all so horribly wrong about him."

She held him for a while until Harry felt a little better. Mrs. Weasley gave him an encouraging smile and sat down again.

"Ron wanted to come along with me, but I told him that he would have to wait until Sirius and you were doing better. But he sends his best wishes, all the family do."

Harry nodded. "Tell them I appreciate it. I'd like to have Ron around some time in the future. I intended to invite him to stay for a while, but now…maybe you can bring him over in a week or so, not for long, only an afternoon…I think it would be good to talk to him."

Mrs. Weasley nodded. "Today won't be the last day I look after you. I intend to come every second day and have a look at you, the household and whether Sirius is about to starve himself or not. If that's okay for you."

Harry smiled weakly. "Yes, it is. Normally, I really like having Sirius around but the situation at the moment is more than difficult. I don't know what to say, what to do, I always think that whatever I say or do, it might be exactly the wrong thing."

Mrs. Weasley nodded. "Don't think too much. It mostly is of no use in those situations. Oh, Sirius."

Mrs. Weasley rose and turned towards the door. Sirius was standing there and he was not looking very well.

He had not shaved since Lupin's death, there were dark shadows under his eyes and he already looked gaunt after three days of grief. He was leaning on the doorframe for support as if he was not able to stand on his own.

Molly stepped towards him and said something, then before Sirius could react she embraced him just like she had embraced Harry. She was a lot smaller than Sirius but it was obvious who was holding whom in that case.

She let go of Sirius and talked to him in a quiet voice for a while. Sirius nodded. Mrs. Weasley turned around towards Harry again.

"I will come back the day after tomorrow. If there's something you need, don't hesitate to ask. Or call me whenever you need somebody to talk to."

Harry nodded. "Thank you Mrs. Weasley."

"Call me Molly please. And make sure that your godfather eats something." She turned towards Sirius and gave him a stern look. "He looks as if he could do with something to eat."

Sirius gave her a weak smile, then they bid their good-byes and Mrs. Weasley disapparated.

Sirius sat down on the kitchen table and Harry placed a bowl with broth and a cup of tea in front of his godfather. Sirius sighed and took up his spoon. 

"Nobody can disobey Molly."

"Sirius, how are you doing?"

Sirius shook his head. "Don't ask. Not very well. I feel so…empty. Yeah, that's the right word. I see no need to get up in the morning, no need to eat, no need for nothing." He looked at his godson, a sudden wave of guilt crossing his face. "Harry, that doesn't mean that I don't care for you, it's just…"

Harry raised his hand and gestured Sirius to stop.  
"I understand what you mean. It's okay. Just eat something now, please."

Sirius nodded and slowly started eating.

The following weeks were a constant up and down. 

Worst of all was the funeral. Dumbledore had arranged it, Sirius had not been able to do that. He had even refused to attend the funeral at all, but Harry had forced him to go.

Though Sirius had never said it, Harry knew he regretted that he had not been able to attend his parent's funeral.

Lupin's funeral took place a week after the attack on Lupin's cottage, the Ministry had refused to release the body earlier.

Harry rose at seven that morning, took a shower, prepared breakfast and went to wake Sirius. His godfather was already sitting up in his bed and stared at the wall again.

"Sirius, get up now. The service will start at ten and Dumbledore will be here at nine. You need to get dressed, and please eat something. I don't want you to collapse during the funeral."

"I won't because I'm not coming."

Harry shook his head, opened Sirius' cupboard and took out his godfather's best black robes.

He threw them onto the bed and gave Sirius a stern look.

"You will get up now, take a shower and dress while I make breakfast. I don't want to hear anything about not going to the funeral anymore.

I know that it's hard for you, it is for me as well. But you will surely regret it later on if you don't go. Do it for Remus, please."

Sirius closed his eyes and sighed. "Okay." It was hardly more than a whisper, but Harry heard it and nodded.

"I'll be in the kitchen."

When Dumbledore apparated at nine he found Harry and Sirius in the living room. Harry was reading the Daily Prophet and Sirius stared at the wall.

"Good morning. Sirius, how are you doing?"

Sirius focussed his gaze onto the headmaster.

"Oh, I was just thinking about the slogan for my next party. How about 'Become my friend and face your death'?"

"Sirius!" Harry threw the paper onto the table, but Dumbledore raised his hand and quieted him.

"I'm sorry Sirius, I shouldn't have asked. I know that this is hard for you. You won't have to take an active role in that funeral, nobody expects you to make a speech or something. I just wanted you to know that.

But…surely the press will be there, despite every effort of the Ministry. Well, every effort of Arthur Weasley, because Fudge couldn't care less. The Daily Prophet will be there and surely some magazines. I could imagine quite well that they will focus on Harry and you, I just want you to be prepared for that"

Sirius nodded.

Harry rose. "How about a cup of tea before we leave?"

Dumbledore nodded. "Thank you, that would be fine. I'll join you."

When they were in the kitchen, Dumbledore addressed Harry.

"How is he really doing?"

Harry shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know, he doesn't talk that much. Most of the times it feels as if he was the child and I was the adult. I have to force him to eat, and if I want to talk to him he just stares at the wall."

He shrugged his shoulders again.

"And you Harry? How do you feel?"

"Exhausted. I can't do that for good. He's just so unlike the Sirius I knew. He has not earned that. Nearly everybody he loved has been taken from him, and now that he finally has the chance to lead a normal life, Lupin's gone as well. It's not fair.

Mrs. Weasley helps a lot, thank you for asking her to come. I can talk to her, she understands. Maybe she'll bring Ron along next week, if Sirius is okay with that."

Dumbledore nodded.

"Harry, don't overestimate your power please. If you need something, or somebody, just call Molly or me. We'll do anything to help you and Sirius to cope with this situation."

Dumbledore handed a small bottle to Harry.

"What's that?"

"A Dreamless Sleep Potion. Sirius looks as if he needs sleep."

"I already asked him to take some, but he says he doesn't want to be drugged."

"Then pour it into a cup of tea. He really needs sleep."

Harry nodded.

"Thank you."

He handed a cup of tea over to his headmaster.

"Professor?"

"Yes Harry?"

"Does the Ministry have any clue about who did it?"

Dumbledore shook his head. "No. It could have been any Death Eater, there was no trace leading to anybody in particular."

They drank their tea in silence and then went to attend the funeral.

They apparated inside of the church, which normally was not allowed. But considering the circumstance that the press was already waiting outside of the church Dumbledore thought it to be the best solution. He wanted to keep the press away from Sirius as long as possible. They sat down in the front row on the left side where they were joined by the Weasley family and Hermione shortly after. 

Despite the fact that Lupin had had very little friends, the church was full. Many people had come out of curiosity because Lupin's death had been in the papers for the entire week. But also many Hogwarts students were there. Lupin had been the favourite teacher of many of the students.

And the entire Hogwarts staff was present, even Snape.

The funeral itself was nice, if such a word is suitable for a funeral at all. It was very personal and quiet.

Dumbledore made a short speech about Lupin, then the priest did the service.

Worst of all was the march to the graveyard. Six Aurors were carrying the casket out of the church and Harry, Dumbledore and Sirius followed it. The Weasleys were walking behind them.

The moment they left the church Harry heard the sounds of the cameras that took pictures of Remus Lupin's last escort. There had been only one reporter in church, and he had taken his pictures before the service had started, therefore he hadn't disturbed Harry that much. But now he felt the urge to shout at them, to scream that they should leave them alone.

Instead, he tried focussing on the casket.

Dumbledore had chosen a quiet place under a birch for Lupin's grave. The priest finished the service and threw a shovel of earth onto the casket which had been lowered into the grave.

All eyes were now focussed on Sirius as he stepped towards the grave and Harry decided not to let Sirius go through his alone. He stepped beside his godfather and took his hand. Sirius tightened the grip as if to thank Harry and then threw earth onto Lupin's casket. He handed the shovel to Harry who did the same. They stepped back and watched everyone else repeating their action, still holding on tightly to each other's hand.

Harry hardly noticed the people passing by, shaking his free hand and expressing their deepest sympathy to him. He knew that he must have nodded his head and said his thank-yous, but couldn't remember it at all. He only remembered Hermione hugging the both of them, but that was all.

When everybody was gone to the small after funeral ceremony, Harry and Sirius remained standing in front of the grave, hand in hand, each lost in his own thoughts. 

After what seemed like hours, Sirius spoke.

"Shall we leave? I want to go home."

Harry nodded and they turned towards the exit of the graveyard, where they found Ron. He had obviously been waiting for them.

Harry had had no possibility to speak to him so far and gave his godfather a questioning look. Sirius nodded, and Harry went over to Ron who immediately embraced him.

Sirius stepped aside, he knew that this was important for Harry and had no intention to interrupt his meeting with Ron.

After a couple of minutes, Harry and Ron went over to Sirius. Ron looked at Harry's godfather and Sirius knew that he wanted to say how sorry he was but could not find the words.

Sirius just nodded and hugged his godson's friend.

"Ron, I just want you to know that it is okay if you come to our place with your mother. If Harry wants to have you around, I surely won't object."

"Okay, thank you. You surely want to go home now and I should be leaving as well. Good bye Sirius. Harry."

They nodded their good-byes and Harry took Sirius' hand and disapparated with him.

As soon as they reached their house, Sirius stormed towards the bathroom and Harry could hear him throw up the little breakfast he had had that morning.

Harry made him a cup of tea and poured the Dreamless Sleep Potion Dumbledore had given him into it. No matter what Sirius said about not wanting to be drugged, he needed sleep now.

He took the cup into Sirius' bedroom and made sure he drank all of it.

Sirius sank back onto his pillows.

"You know Harry, if you had asked me to drink that potion, I would not have refused today. You needn't have put it into the tea."

"I'm sorry, I just wanted you to get some sleep."

"Don't be sorry." He took his godson's hand. "Thank you for what you did today. Thanks for not letting me alone on the cemetery."

"I couldn't. Now sleep. I'm downstairs if you need something."

Sirius closed his eyes and Harry left the room.

The following weeks dragged on.

Sometimes, though very rarely, Sirius seemed to be doing rather fine. Then he wanted to distract himself, he went off flying with Harry or tried to help him with his homework. During those times he ate normally.

But then there were the times when Sirius was more than depressed. Those were days when he refused to leave his room, didn't eat and hardly spoke.

Mrs. Weasley came to see them and look after the household three times a week, though there was hardly anything to do for her because Harry distracted himself by cleaning the house. 

But she was somebody Harry could talk to when Sirius was deeply depressed again.

Twice she brought Ron with her after having called Harry through the fireplace before she apparated.

Ron only came along when Sirius was doing relatively fine and Harry was glad to see his friend again.

So far, nothing had been found out about the identity of the Death Eaters that had killed Remus Lupin.

But there was something else that was worrying Harry. It was the last week in August, he would have to leave Sirius in nearly a week. Who would look after him if he was gone?


	10. Diagon Alley

**Diagon Alley**

The letter from school had arrived three weeks ago, containing a personal note from Professor McGonagall who asked Harry to meet her at the Leaky Cauldron after he had finished his shopping. She wanted to meet him today so Harry prepared to leave.

"Sirius, is it really okay if I go to Diagon Alley now?"

Sirius sighed. He was sitting in the living room and pretended to read a book so that Harry would not worry any more than he already did.

"Harry it is okay. I can look after myself, believe me. Go and try to distract yourself for a couple of hours. Merlin knows you've earned it."

Harry nodded and threw a hand full of Floo Powder into the fireplace. The flames turned green.

"Bye then. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Take your time."

Harry stepped into the flames and yelled "Diagon Alley".

When he climbed out of the public fireplace at Diagon Alley, he couldn't spot any trace from Ron and Hermione and so decided to collect some money from his vault at Gringott's and then start his shopping immediately.

First he went into Flourish&Botts to get his new school books, then he ordered new robes at Madam Maulkin's for he had grown a lot over summer.

Next stop was the pharmacy where he refilled his potions supplies, then he sat down at the Ice Cream Parlour to relax a little. He still had over an hour left before he had to meet with Professor McGonagall.

"Look whom we got here. If that's not Potty Potter."

Harry recognized the drawling voice instantly as Draco Malfoy's but decided not to react.

"Still mourning for that werewolf, are we?"

Don't react. He just wants to provoke you.

Malfoy now stepped in front of Harry. He was guided by Crabbe and Goyle as usual, his father was no where to be seen.

"Nice picture in the Prophet, holding hands with the dog-man. How many shots did it take until you two were content with the result?"

That was enough. Harry jumped from his seat and threw himself onto Malfoy. Before Crabbe and Goyle were able to figure out what was going on, Harry had already given Malfoy a bleeding cut on the left temple and a black eye. He now focussed his anger on Malfoy's stomach and hit it as hard as he could.

He barely realized that Crabbe pulled him back while Goyle now took his term to hit Harry. He didn't realize the pain at all, he was still focussed on his anger towards Malfoy. The Slytherin now rose and stared at Harry, his grey eyes filled with disgust.

"You will pay for that Potter. That lunatic didn't earn anything better, and you and your dog-guard will be next, believe me. It will be a glorious day when the wizarding world gets finally rid of scum like you!"

He spit in Harry's face and then hit him hard, one fist in the stomach the other in the face.

"What's going on here? Mr. Malfoy! Mr. Crabbe! Mr. Goyle! Let go from Mr. Potter right now!"

Professor McGonagall was storming towards them.

"What, for Merlin's sake are you doing here? Outnumbering him three on one, that's typical Slytherin courage! Leave immediately. Unfortunately I cannot take any points from you yet, but I'll inform your parents about this incident, believe me."

Harry had sunk onto the floor when Crabbe and Goyle had let go of him and now slowly got to his feet again.

"Mr. Potter, are you alright?"

Harry nodded.

"I was looking out for you in fact. I thought that maybe you had finished your shopping and as everybody is already assembled in the Leaky Cauldron I thought we might have our meeting a little earlier."

"Everybody is assembled? Who else is there? I thought it was just you and me meeting."

"Professor Dumbledore is there and some other members of the staff. Nothing to worry about. Can you come?"

"Sure, I'm finished. The sooner I get through this, the sooner I can return home."

They made their way to the Leaky Cauldron and Professor McGonagall handed Harry a handkerchief to clean the blood from his face. He had a nasty cut above the eyebrow where Malfoy had hit him.

They entered the Pub and made their way to the back room, Harry kept looking on the floor to avoid the curious gazes.

As they entered the back room, Professor McGonagall directed him into a chair on one end of the table.

Harry could see Dumbledore, next to him McGonagall sat down, Snape was sitting opposite of him and Flitwick, Sprout and Hooch were also there. Nearly the entire staff was assembled in the Leaky Cauldron, not only some members.

"Albus, Harry has just been beaten up by Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle. I could not believe my eyes when I saw it. They deserve punishment even though the term has not started yet."

Before Dumbledore could respond, Harry interrupted.

"Professor, it was me who started the fight. Malfoy made some rude comments, but it was me who hit him first. I could have reacted differently, there was no need for me to hit him. I should be used to him by now. If you punish him for that, it will make things only worse."

Dumbledore nodded.

"All right Harry, if you say so. But Mr. Malfoy is not the reason we wanted to meet you. How are you doing?"

Harry shrugged his shoulders. "Okay. Could be better, but it has already been worse."

"Do you feel like going back to school again?"

"I feel like going back to school, but I definitely don't want to leave Sirius. He's doing worse than I am, and if there is nobody to look after him…I don't want to imagine."

He looked at Dumbledore. The headmaster nodded.

"I see. But you have to understand that Hogwarts is the most secure place for you to be. One reason why I didn't approve that Sirius took you from your aunt and uncle was that he cannot give you the protection a blood relative can give. But I have to admit that he had good reasons to do so.

Well, we thought about possible arrangements. Do you think that Sirius would decide to say yes if you asked him to stay at Hogsmeade?"

"Professor, with all due respect, but Sirius hardly decides to say anything when I ask him if he wants something to eat. I don't know what he would say. But I can ask."

"I see. Then I will talk to him in person. But I need you to understand that you have to go back to school. Everyone in this room is aware of your situation and the difficulties that come along with it. We asked you to meet us here so that we can assure you that the entire staff is willing to give you all the support you need. So if there is anything you need or want, not only now but throughout the year, just ask."

Harry thought for a moment.

"If I can really convince Sirius to come to Hogsmeade, I think I will resign as a Prefect. It costs too much time, I'd rather spend that time with Sirius."

Dumbledore nodded. "I had expected that much."

Harry sighed. "The same with Quidditch."

McGonagall looked up. "We'll find another team captain." 

Harry shook his head. "Not only the position of team captain. I want to quit the House Team. There are too many practice sessions, it would only be wasted time. And what if I fall off my broom again and have to stay in the Hospital Wing? No, I won't play Quidditch this year."

McGonagall looked at Harry as if she could not believe what she had just heard, but then nodded. "We'll arrange tryouts for a new seeker and find a new captain."

"Thank you. Is there anything else you want to talk about? Otherwise I would like to leave now if you don't mind."

"No Harry, you may leave if you want to. Tell Sirius that I will talk to him tomorrow. Good Bye Harry."

"Good Bye Professors."

Harry got up, collected his bags and left the room.

When the door had closed behind him, Dumbledore looked at the rest of the teachers.

"Now, what is your impression?"

McGonagall shook her head. "He's rather functioning than anything else. Taking care of Sirius is too much for him alone. He won't stand that much longer, not even with the help of Molly Weasley. And if Sirius is really doing as bad as he described it, neither will he."

"Maybe that's what the Dark Lord and the Death Eaters want."

All eyes turned onto Snape.  
"What do you mean Severus?" Dumbledore raised an eyebrow.

"I've been thinking about it ever since Lupin's house was attacked. 

I reveal no secret when I say that before his downfall, the Dark Lord tempted both Lupin and Black. I surely share the belief of you all when I say that the reason he could not pull them to his side was the strong bond between them and their close relationship towards the Potters. None of those four would have betrayed their aim and their friends like Pettigrew did.

When he realized that he could not turn them, he wanted them dead. 

Well, the Potters were killed years ago, and now that Lupin is dead…"

Dumbledore interrupted.

"You think that Remus was murdered so that Sirius would become desperate enough to join the Dark Side? That doesn't make sense, he knows who is responsible for Lupin's death."  
"Dumbledore, I know how that works. The one thing Black is longing for now surely is revenge. And who could offer him that except from the man who sent the murderers? He can offer them to him on a silver tray. If Black would give in to that, he'd be nearly lost.

Black is not himself right now, people who are mourning don't think rational. An Merlin knows that he's mourning, Lupin was the only friend from his youth that was left.

And even if that was not the Dark Lord's plan, we need to get Black rational again. He is of no use if he's just messed up, and a Sirius Black who has joined the Dark Lord is an idea none of us would want to imagine.

We need to have him save on our side, and we need to have him fighting for us.

And believe me, I would not say something like that about him without having considered it over and over again.

There's no way out, we have to bring him to Hogsmeade where we can have an eye on him."

Dumbledore nodded. "I'll talk to him tomorrow. I'll see what I can do."

They all rose and left the room.

"Harry, what has happened to you? You're bleeding!"

Harry had just stepped out of the fireplace when Sirius stormed towards him, took him by the shoulders and led him to the sofa.

"I've had a little encounter with Malfoy and his bodyguards, but it's not as bad as it looks. He's off worse, believe me. And McGonagall has interrupted before anything else could happen."

Sirius got up and fetched his wand from the windowsill.

"Let me mend that cut." He waved his wand and the pain in Harry's head vanished.

"Where else did they hit you?"

"In the stomach, but it's really not as bad as you think it is."

"Let me decide that. Lay back."

Harry did as he was told because he knew that there was no way to stop Sirius from examining him.

His godfather lifted his robes and the shirt he wore underneath.

"Merlin, Harry what have they hit you with? An anvil?"

Harry looked down on himself and saw that large bruises had already appeared on his belly.

"Ever seen Goyle? I'm sure there is an anvil somewhere in the line of his ancestors."

"Does that hurt?"  
"Ouch, of course that bloody hurts. You've been pushing right into the bruise, what do you think that would do?"

"Sorry Harry. I just want to check whether anything's broken." 

He waved his wand and the bruises disappeared. Harry rose and saw that Sirius watched him with sorrowful eyes.

"Oh Sirius, really. It's not as bad as it looks. I've been brawling that's all. I appreciate it a lot that you're concerned, but it's really not serious. Thank you for mending the bruises."

Sirius kept on looking on him.

"You're all that I have left. I just can't help it, I'm scared to loose you as well."

Harry gave his godfather a long hug. "I don't intend to leave you. In fact, I want to ask you something about the next year."


	11. Cunning Plans

_Voldie's__ turn now.__ He's planning. But what is he up to do? Something dreadful, believe me. He has lingered in the background for too long, now it is time for him to reveal himself to the entire wizarding world. And believe me, it's not going to be fun…_

_Enjoy!_

**Cunning Plans**

The rat ran towards the old and apparently empty Mansion in East Sussex. It was hurrying to get there, he had news for his master. The rat knew that the Mansion was not empty but security demanded that it appeared to be so. 

When it reached the door it stopped and with a low *pop* turned into a man again. Still panting from his midnight run through the forest, Peter Pettigrew opened the front door and stepped into the Mansion.

He went through the hall and up the stairs while he tried to regain his breath. After he had walked through the corridor on the second floor he stopped again in front of a large double-winged wooden door.

Just as he raised his hand to knock, a high-pitched voice came from the inside.

"Enter, Wormtail."

Wormtail swallowed hard and opened the door. He walked towards the robed figure that stood in front of the fireplace and fell to his knees.

"M-Master."

"I see that the anti-apparition field around this Mansion doesn't please you. You should look after your physical shape Wormtail, if you want to be of help."

"Y-Yes Master." Wormtail, who still knelt in front of Voldemort, was still panting but now he tried to suppress his heavy breathing.

"What news do you bring Wormtail? We had expected your appearance days ago."

"I have news indeed, My Lord. As you told me I attended the funeral. Black appeared to be in a better state than I had imagined. So I decided to make sure. It would have been to dangerous to sneak into his house but I could intercept an owl from Hogwarts to the boy. The deputy headmistress asked for a meeting the day he did his shopping and I decided that this could reveal useful information. I hid in the Leaky Cauldron and could overhear their conversation. The good news is that Black indeed is doing as bad as we imagined he would. The boy told that he is rather functioning and close to a breakdown. They have decided to move him to Hogsmeade during the upcoming term."

Voldemort smiled under his hood. This was indeed very good.

"If you speak of good news I assume that you also bring bad news."

Wormtail shuddered and dared not to look at Voldemort.

"They suspect something. To be precise, Snape suspects something. He told the assembled teachers that he thinks its your plan to tempt Black by offering him revenge. Now they plan to bring reason back to him, to make him help them with their plans to fight you."

Voldemort nodded and slowly started walking up and down the room.

"Tell me Wormtail. You know Snape and Black better than I do. Could it be possible that the old fool Dumbledore could convince them to work side by side, could Black overcome his paralysis in order to work together with Snape?"

Wormtail thought for a moment.

"I…I think that Black would do anything to lay his hands on Lupin's murderers. Even if it means working together with Snape. He trusts Dumbledore enough to stand Snape's presence. Snape is a big problem for us Master. He still is in contact with Death Eaters from the outer circle and he gathers more information than he should. I cannot understand why you ordered us to let him spy on us, it would be a lot easier for our cause if we'd just get rid of him…"

"Crucio"

Voldemort had pointed his wand at Wormtail who sank to his knees and screamed in pain and agony. He had heard all that he needed, now he wanted to show that little coward who was the one to make the decisions. After more than a minute he removed the curse.

"I would advice you never to doubt one of my decisions again Wormtail. I could kill you anytime.

I have my reasons for letting Snape continue with what he is doing and why I ordered you not to harm him should be none of your business. Now get out of my sight before I end your existence right now and right here. I will call for you when I need your service again."

Wormtail crept towards the door and vanished as quick as his aching body would allow him.

Voldemort stepped besides the fireplace, sat down in an armchair and stroke the huge snake that was curled up there absent-minded.

"Dear Nagini, there is a lot of work coming up. But our plan is beginning to take shape. Soon we will get some entertainment."

Hearing her master's hisses, Nagini raised her head and curled around his legs in what could almost be called an affective gesture.

"Soon Nagini. Soon there will be hunting for you."

Again Voldemort stroke her head and then touched the Dark Mark on his left forearm.

Only a couple of minutes later, McNair, Avery, Nott and Lucius Malfoy entered the room through the huge wooden door. All four immediately knelt down.

"Master", they said in unison.

"Get up."

Immediately, Voldemort's order was carried out.

"It is time to show that muggle loving fool Dumbledore what we are capable of. McNair, Avery, Nott, you know what I order you to do now?"

The three men nodded.

"I want each of you to take twenty men. McNair, you will go to London. Avery, you will take Manchester. Nott, you and your men are going to Edinburgh. Tomorrow evening, you know the time. Don't disappoint me."

"No Master, we won't."

The three men bowed and left the room. Lucius Malfoy made a step forward.

"Master, what do you want me to do?"

"Later Lucius, later. Tell me, how is the situation at your Manor?"

"Everything is under control Master."

"Maybe I have to ask you to host a guest soon. Are your dungeons prepared for this?"

Malfoy nodded.

"Anytime Master."

"Very well. Now, Wormtail has recently informed me about some interesting developments. Dumbledore wants to move Black to Hogsmeade during the term. They want to include him into their plans. What do you think about that?"

"It's no good development. Black would be too eager to hunt Lupin's murderers down. He could be a possible threat. And the boy knows too much. They have to be kept occupied."

Voldemort nodded.

"Just what I thought. Don't worry about Black's involvement in Dumbledore's plans. My people at the Ministry will see to that. They won't allow him to act. But the boy has to be looked after. I want your son to see to that, it will be his chance to prove himself worthy. Whenever he tries to involve himself into Dumbledore's business I want him to be distracted. By any means. But tell your son he shall do it unnoticed. Maybe we can even diverse Black if we focus his concern onto the boy."

Lucius bowed. "I will tell Draco. He will be pleased to be of help."

"Good Lucius. But there's another thing."

Lucius raised his eyebrows and his grey eyes gleamed expectantly.

"I want you to take thirty men and go to Diagon Alley tomorrow evening. You know what to do. Kill as many as possible but prevent your men from being caught. I expect your report tomorrow night at eleven. You may leave now Lucius."

"Of course Master. Thank you Master."

Lucius bowed and left the room.

'Toadies', Voldemort thought, 'all of them. But quite useful at times.'

And he sat down and started to laugh. High-pitched and unnatural, he laughed for several minutes because he felt his big hour drawing near. And the Ministry and Dumbledore lay their trust in those people who would bring their downfall. How significant.

One hundred and fifty miles away, Harry Potter woke with a start. He was panting and covered in sweat. The scar on his forehead stung madly. But he could not remember his dream at all.

He decided not to tell Sirius. at least not immediately. His godfather hopefully was sleeping and Harry could not bring himself to disturb him, he had hardly slept during the last weeks. Maybe tomorrow, depending on Sirius' mood. 

Harry lay back onto his pillow and tried to fall asleep again.


	12. Attacks

**Attacks**

The next morning Harry woke up with a terrible headache. He wondered shortly if that was what a hangover felt like but then went into the bathroom and checked the medical kit for some potion to cure his headache. He quickly swallowed the liquid and went into the kitchen to prepare breakfast.

Today would be Sirius' and his last day in Sirius' house, the day afterwards Harry would take the Hogwarts Express and Sirius would apparate towards Hogsmeade where Dumbledore had organized a house at the edge of the village for him.

Harry had been surprised that Sirius had immediately agreed when he had asked him to move to Hogsmeade. Dumbledore had come to them the day after but he needn't convince him anymore. Things had been settled and Harry was more than glad that he could look after his godfather during term. Dumbledore had allowed him to leave school for the weekends as long as Sirius took care that he did his homework properly. Harry guessed that Dumbledore had taken this measure to distract Sirius from his current state of mind.

By the time Harry reached the kitchen the smell of coffee greeted him. Sirius obviously had not slept very much during the last night. Again. Harry sighed. This could not continue but he didn't know how to prevent him from waking during the nights. He could not drug him every night, those sleeping potions were highly addictive.

"'Morning Sirius."

"Good morning Harry."

Sirius looked up from the Daily Prophet he had been reading.

Harry went over and opened the fridge. "Breakfast?", he asked, hoping against hope that his godfather would start eating regularly again.

"No, thanks. I can't eat right now. How have you been sleeping? Ready for your last day here?"

Harry suddenly remembered why he had woken up last night and decided that he should tell Sirius about it. He had promised both his godfather and Dumbledore to let them know when his scar hurt.

"Actually I woke up last night because my scar hurt like mad. I know that I had been dreaming about Voldemort but I can't remember anything. I know that I promised you to tell immediately if something like this happens, but I saw no use in waking you if I didn't remember anything specific."

Sirius nodded but frowned his forehead.

"Strange. You have not been dreaming about him for…how long?"

"Nearly two months now. I can't explain either."

Harry sat down with the plate of toast he had prepared, determined to make Sirius eat at least one slice of bread.

"Well, I'll tell Dumbledore tonight, he wanted to come over anyway. As long as you don't remember anything specific it can't be of any help for him to know. The Ministry is expecting Death Eater activity at any time now."

Harry continued eating silently and pushed the plate with the remaining slices of toast over to his godfather.

Sirius got the hint and one look in Harry's eyes told him that he would not let him leave the kitchen until he had eaten something. He sighed, picked up a slice of toast and started nibbling listlessly. Like everything else, it tasted like sawdust.

Satisfied with this small success, Harry got up.

"I'm going to pack my things now. If you need any help with your stuff just call me."

Sirius nodded and Harry left the kitchen.

Packing his things together took longer than it had ever done while Harry still stayed at the Dursleys. During the six weeks he had spent at Sirius' house he had spread his possessions across all rooms and he had to make a list of the things he needed so that he would not forget anything. It was nearly five in the afternoon when Harry had collected the last things he needed and had packed them into his trunk. He sighed and collapsed onto the sofa in the living room.

Sirius was still upstairs in his room and threw clothing and other personal property into his trunk without paying attention to what he was doing. The moment he threw the last robe on top of the mess and closed the trunk a loud scream from downstairs alarmed him.

"Harry!"

Sirius left his room and stormed downstairs towards the source of the screams. He pulled out his wand while he ran into the living room but let it drop to the floor at the moment he saw his godson. Harry was lying on the floor, knees pulled to his chest and hands clenched firmly against his forehead. There was no obvious reason for it, but he seemed to be in serious pain.

Sirius crossed the distance between himself and his godson as fast as he could and knelt down next to him.

"Harry!"

He touched Harry's shoulder but the boy didn't seem to notice that he was there at all. He started shaking Harry's shoulder in a desperate attempt to make his godson come back to reality but failed. Not knowing what he could do, Sirius pulled Harry into his arms and gently rocked him back and forth.

"Shhh. It'll be over soon. Shhh Harry, shhh. I'm here. Just try to relax. Concentrate on your breathing. Shhh."

It took more than ten awful minutes before Harry's tensioned body finally relaxed. He collapsed unconsciously into Sirius' arms. His godfather carefully lifted him up and lay him down on the sofa. 

Sirius wanted to check his temperature but as he lifted the strands of hair that sweat hat glued onto Harry's forehead his hand flinched back. The scar on Harry's forehead was swollen and had a bright red colour, just as if it was new and not properly healed. 

Sirius pulled a blanket over Harry's body and stepped towards the fireplace. He conjured a fire and immediately called Dumbledore.

"Sirius, what's wrong?"

The headmaster appeared in the fireplace.

"Dumbledore, Harry collapsed ten minutes ago. He was in serious pain and didn't respond to anything. His scar is swollen. I don't know what's wrong with him."

Concern spread across Dumbledore's pain.  
"How is he doing now?"

"I think he is unconscious. Maybe that's the best at the moment. He told me that he had a dream about Voldemort last night and that he woke up with his scar hurting, but he couldn't remember anything. I wanted to tell you this evening. Could this have anything to do with his fit?"

Dumbledore nodded. "I think it has everything to do with it. Sirius, I don't have much time at the moment. I've just been informed that a short while ago Death Eaters have started attacks in Manchester, Edinburgh, Muggle London and Diagon Alley. Rumours are told that Voldemort himself has participated. There have been many casualties and injuries, and the Ministry is busy in dealing with it. I have to go now but I'll come over to your place as soon as I can. Is that all right?"

Sirius nodded. "Just come as soon as possible, I don't care if it's in the middle of the night. Is there anything I can do for Harry now?"

Dumbledore shook his head.

"Nothing specific. Just make it as comfortable for him as possible. There's no need to call a doctor as long as his state doesn't worsen. I'm sure he will wake up soon. Good bye Sirius."

"Good bye Dumbledore. Thank you."

Dumbledore's head vanished and Sirius was left even more confused than before. He went into the kitchen and fetched some iced water to cool down Harry's scar. Then he switched on the television, maybe some channel, be it muggle or wizard, had news on the attacks.

He sat down on the sofa and placed Harry's head on his lap. Carefully he wiped his forehead with a wet and cool cloth. Harry seemed to relax even more during this treatment and Sirius let out a sigh of relief.

He switched through the channels while he continued his treatment on Harry's forehead but none of the channels mentioned the incidents at all. Sirius didn't really know what he should think of this but he knew that he would have to wait until Dumbledore arrived. He felt the urge to call Remus and tell him about Harry's distress and had already halfway risen from the sofa when reality struck him. Remus was dead, how could he have forgotten. He was dead and would never be giving advices to Sirius. The pain caused by this realization felt like a knife stabbing his intestines. But at that moment, Harry stirred in his arms and Sirius focussed his attention on his godson again.

"Harry?"

Harry's eyelids fluttered and slowly he opened his eyes.

"Sirius? What happened?"

"I don't know. I heard you screaming and when I arrived here you were lying on the floor and had clutched your hands against your scar. You were in pain and didn't respond to anything for ten minutes. After that you passed out.

But don't worry about it now, Dumbledore will come around later that evening, maybe he knows more. 

I'll bring you to your bedroom now, you need some rest."

Harry nodded weakly and Sirius lifted him up and carried him into his bedroom. By the time he lay his godson onto the bed, Harry was already asleep again. Sirius tucked him into the blankets, went to fetch the ice water once more and then sat down on the bed beside Harry. 

Two hours later Dumbledore arrived. He came up the stairs and knocked on the door as if he had known where to find the two.

"Sirius? How is Harry doing?"

Dumbledore stepped beside the bed.

"He's sleeping now. He has been awake shortly after I called you but he was very tired and it seemed that he didn't remember that much. I brought him up here and he hasn't woken since then."

Dumbledore nodded.

"The scar is doing better?"

"I cooled it and the swelling has nearly gone away."

"Good. Could I talk to you downstairs?"

Sirius looked at Harry and then nodded. They went into the living room and sat down with two cups of tea. Sirius now realized how tired Dumbledore himself looked.

"No channel has been reporting anything about the incidents of which you told me."

"I know Sirius. The Ministry has hushed it up very well. This afternoon at five o'clock groups of Death Eaters attacked Manchester, Edinburgh, London and Diagon Alley. They acted simultaneously, it must have been planned long ago. Of course the Ministry had not been prepared and I have to admit that none of us knew where they would strike.

They chose public places for the attacks. A market place in Edinburgh, a shopping mall  in Manchester and a large outdoor café in London. Sirius, there have been many deaths."

Sirius' heart skipped a beat. "How many?"

"Twenty-six in Manchester, nineteen in Edinburgh, twenty-three in London, so far all casualties are muggles. And thirty six wizards and witches in Diagon Alley and the Leaky Cauldron. Not one Death Eater was caught.

Some of the survivors in Diagon Alley have reported that Voldemort himself has shown up during the attack. He has killed himself. That's how I explain the pain Harry had been in. His connection to Voldemort must have become stronger during the rite that gave him back his body. He…the witnesses claim that he has tortured his victims to death with the Cruciatus Curse. I guess that's what Harry felt, a weaker version of the curse Voldemort performed."

"Do you want to tell me that he will suffer like that every time Voldemort curses somebody? What if he casts Avada Kedavra?"

Dumbledore shook his head. "I don't know Sirius, I don't know. Maybe he can only feel it when Voldemort is in rage, maybe Voldemort can control when he lets Harry feel the curses. Maybe is everything I can say at the moment, there has never been such a case before. We'll move Harry to Hogwarts as it was planned first thing tomorrow, at least if his physical state allows it. If something else happens tonight, please inform me immediately."

"One last thing Dumbledore. The victims in Diagon Alley…has there been anybody among them who went to school with Harry? Somebody he knew?"

Dumbledore thought for a moment.

"There were former students amongst the dead, but I don't think Harry knew them. Two Ravenclaw seventh-years were injured but as far as I know no student or teacher was killed."

Sirius nodded.

"Thank you for coming around. Maybe you should try to get some rest yourself."

"I'll try Sirius, I'll try. Good night."  
"Good night Dumbledore."

The headmaster stepped into the fireplace and vanished. Sirius sighed, went upstairs again and after setting the alarm clock he took up his watching position at his godson's side again. It took him long moments lost in his thoughts before he fell asleep.


	13. Hogwarts

**Hogwarts**

Harry really didn't remember anything about last night's incidents when he woke up the next morning. Sirius told him what had happened but Harry just stared at him in disbelief. He had reacted rather untouched when Sirius revealed Dumbledore's guess about the cause of his pain.

"Harry, you do understand what I just told you, don't you?"

Harry nodded. "I understand only too well Sirius. But what do you expect me to do? Break down, cry my heart out, blame the gods for burdening me with this? What would be the use of it, it would not change a single thing. I have to accept it. Can you help me with my trunk? It's rather heavy."

Sirius shook his head. There was still a lot about his godson that he didn't understand.

They heaved Harry's trunk down the stairs, Harry took Hedwig's cage and Sirius apparated him to Kings Cross Station. They passed the barrier to Platform 9 ¾ and Harry let out a deep sigh. As much as he wished to go back to Hogwarts, he knew that Sirius actually needed somebody around him to prevent him from falling into his depressions again. He felt Sirius' hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry, it'll all turn out all right. Just remember to tell Dumbledore immediately when your scar hurts again or when something else unusual happens."

Harry nodded.

"And you take care of yourself Sirius, promise me."

"I will, don't worry about me. _You take care of yourself, okay?"_

"Okay."

Sirius pulled Harry into an embrace to say good bye.

"I love you Harry. Whatever happens, I love you."

"Love you too Sirius."

They let go and Harry boarded the train. He soon found the compartment in which Hermione, Ron, Neville, Dean and Seamus had already made themselves a home. He entered and his friends greeted him. Soon the train started his journey and Harry waved good bye out of the window until the platform was out of sight. He knew that he was behaving childish but all the years before there had been no family of his to bid him good bye and his bond with Sirius had become very tight over the summer. Despite or maybe rather because of all the pain they had been through together.

He sat down again and tried to get rid of his thoughts in a conversation with his friends. 

Soon they forgot time as they sat in the middle of a huge pile of chocolate frogs, Bertie Bott's every flavour beans, cauldron cakes and iced pumpkin juice. They talked about Quidditch and their holidays, about anything but Lupin's death and the recent Death Eater Attacks. Harry was glad about it. He had decided not to tell his friends about his breakdown the day before. Ron would only tell him to go to Dumbledore, which Sirius had already done, and Hermione would lock herself in the library in an attempt to find out the reason for his fit. They would only be concerned about him and treat him as if he was about to break and Harry simply wanted to let his life become normal again. And if the train ride was foreshadowing, it would be possible to live normally again.

But whoever was in charge of fate at that moment didn't allow this situation to last forever. Close to the end of their train ride, they had already changed into their school robes, the compartment door slid open and Draco Malfoy entered, as usual accompanied by Crabbe and Goyle.

"Now look what we got here." His drawling voice made Harry angry as he remembered their encounter at Diagon Alley. "What exactly are you celebrating in here? The fact that all of you survived so far? I wouldn't count on that. The Boy Who Lived, a mudblood, the son of a muggle-loving fool, a squib and two nobodies. I wouldn't bet on all of you surviving this year."

Ron got up. "Sod off Malfoy!"

"How very inventive Weasel. But I don't remember asking for your opinion."

"Neither do I remember inviting you into our compartment. Move!"

"Or what?"

"Or I'll make you!"

"Now that should be interesting. If I were you, lucky old me that it's not like that, I would be careful. I would not cross the wrong people, not at times like these."

Harry felt the urge to interrupt before Malfoy would say something he'd soon regret. He didn't want to spend his time fighting with that insufferable prat if it could be avoided.

"How is your eye doing Malfoy? Was Daddy very angry that you ruined your robes while crawling in the mud? And if I remember right you were bleeding rather nastily the last time I saw you. I hope I didn't give you a scar. Now leave if you don't want to repeat our last encounter. Don't you have a life of your own that you need to sneak around us all the time?"

Malfoy's ears had turned slightly red.

"That is a score that will be settled soon Potter, believe me. But you're right, I don't know why I waste my time with scum like you."

He turned around and left, gesturing his dumb bodyguards to follow him.

"Crawling in the mud? Is there something you didn't tell me?" Ron asked while taking his seat again.

"I met Malfoy at Diagon Alley the day I did my shopping. He said things he shouldn't have said and before the two idiots realized I had given him a black eye. It was worth Goyle beating me up afterwards. And McGonagall came and saw it, you should have seen their faces. It was great. Of course, Sirius was frantic that I had been brawling."

"How is Sirius doing?"

Hermione hit Ron on the leg immediately after he had said those words and he covered his mouth with his hands in a helpless gesture.

"No Hermione, it's okay. He's not doing as bad anymore as he was shortly after Lupin died. But still, I don't like the idea that he is alone nearly the entire week. He has a tendency to fall into depression if he's not distracted. He doesn't take care that much of himself these days."

Ron and Hermione nodded.

"If there's anything we can do, just let us know okay?"

"Yeah I will. Thank you."

The train slowed down and they went off at Hogsmeade station. As usual, first thing they saw on the platform was the huge form of Hagrid the gamekeeper.

"First years over here! First years over here! Oh 'Arry! Good to have you back here!" Hagrid beamed at Harry and his friends but suddenly a look of serious concern crossed his face. "Ye know Harry, if ye wanna talk or sumthin, ye know where ta find me. Okay?"

"Okay Hagrid. Maybe you should take your first years to the castle now before the Giant Squib gets hold of them."

Hagrid took that reminder of his duties serious and headed towards the boats, but not without making Harry, Ron and Hermione promise to visit him during their first week at school.

Harry, Ron, Hermione and Neville got into one of the horseless carriages that brought the older students towards the castle. Harry sighed loudly.

"That's exactly what I didn't want to happen."

Ron looked at his friend.

"What do you mean mate?"

"That people start treating me as if I was made of glass. I can't stand that."

"Harry, you know that Hagrid likes you a lot. He doesn't want to see you hurt."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "I think it's a little late for that. But now, let's talk about something else if you don't mind. There's a big feast coming up and it's our first day back at Hogwarts. We should be enjoying ourselves."

The tension in the carriage lifted a little but still Ron and Hermione were eying Harry from time to time with deeply concerned looks.

The four friends went into the Great Hall and took their usual seats at the Gryffindor table. Soon the Great Hall was filled with students and the Sorting Hat was placed on the three legged stool in front of the teacher's table.

Much to the surprise of the students, this year it did not break out into a cheering song but remained quiet while the first years were led into the hall. Professor McGonagall cleared her throat.

"When I call your name you will seat on the stool and place the hat over your head. It will decide into which house you will be sorted. After it has reached his decision, you will sit down on your house table so."

The group of first years looked intimidated at her as she unrolled a piece of parchment and started reading out the names.

The sorting took quite long and towards its end Ron was shifting uneasily in his chair. Harry bent towards him.

"What's up?"

"I'm starving. I want to eat. Don't you think that this year the sorting lasts extremely long? That stupid hat is thinking over and over again before it declares something but I want to eat _now."_

Harry suppressed his laughter. That was Ron, always thinking with his stomach. 

Finally, the last first year was sorted into his house and Dumbledore rose. Harry realized that for the first time, his headmaster appeared to be as old as he really was. He had dark rings under his eyes and there was no sparkling in his eyes as he made his welcome speech. That sight did not leave Harry untouched.

"Welcome students to another year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I have a few announcements to make before I will leave you with your dinner."

Ron sighed loudly at his side but Harry was so focussed on Dumbledore that he didn't even hear it.

"Like every year, I have to remind you that the Forbidden Forest was not named like that without reason. Students are strictly forbidden to enter.

And now it is time to welcome a new member in our teacher's body. Miss Arabella Figg was so kind to take the vacant position of the Defence against the Dark Arts teacher. Please give her a warm welcome here."

Hesitantly the Great Hall broke into applause and many pitiful gazes turned towards Harry. After all, Lupin had been a very popular teacher and most of the students knew that he had been a close friend of Harry's godfather. Harry shook his head and tried not to notice. Dumbledore cleared his throat.

"Recently, our world has been going through very dark times and still is. I hope that the protection provided to you on the castle grounds will enable you to continue with your lives as normal as possible. But I ask you not to neglect the fact that outside the castle grounds there are dark forces at work. They deny every virtue that we try to teach our students here. Recently we have had to learn the lesson that what we long considered guaranteed, freedom of thought, equality, choice of friends and other items like that are gifts that have to be protected and defended. 

A lot of people suffer from great losses since the Dark Lord has gained power again and we here at Hogwarts are not excluded. Some of you might have lost people they knew during the recent attacks and now I want you all to take a moment to remember a person we all have known and liked very much.

I ask you to remember your former Professor Remus J. Lupin who was cowardly murdered because his attitudes and virtues stood in the way of those against whom he fought.

I want you to remember him for what he was: a man who never gave up despite the setbacks fate provided for him in his life. A passionate man who fought for what he considered to be right. Having lost him leaves a huge gap amongst us."

Dumbledore bowed his head and the teachers and most of the students followed his example. For some long silent moments they paid respect to Remus Lupin.

However, low giggles could be heard from the Slytherin table and when Harry looked up he saw that Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy Parkinson were fighting hard not to laugh. Next to them, Malfoy whispered his own speech in honour of Lupin and though Harry was no expert in lip-reading he caught the words 'lunatic', 'monster' and 'filthy scum'.

Harry suddenly felt the urge to run over to Malfoy and beat him senseless but he resisted. He would not give Malfoy the satisfaction to take notice of what he did.

Dumbledore sat down again and the food appeared on the tables before Harry could change his mind about beating Malfoy up immediately.

The Great Hall was unusually quiet after Dumbledore's speech. Lupin's death reminded a lot of people that the death of somebody whom you cared about was not as far-fetched as it seemed during times of peace.

After the feast, Dumbledore rose once again and bid them good night before they were lead to their houses by the Prefects. Of course, Hermione was a Gryffindor Prefect and after Harry had resigned from his Prefect duties only weeks ago, Seamus Finnigan had become the other Gryffindor Prefect much to everybody's surprise.

Harry and Ron bid Hermione good night in the Common Room and climbed the staircase towards their dorm. Harry undressed and put on his pyjamas but no matter how hard he tried, he could not fall asleep. Dumbledore's speech had brought up painful memories.

Harry realized that so far he had not really mourned for the friend he had lost. Of course, Sirius' state had been more important than his own grief but Harry realized that he could actually feel the gap Dumbledore had spoken about. Harry had known Remus for three years now and though he knew that his friendship with that man could have never competed with the strong bond between Remus and his godfather, he had considered Remus a friend. And now he was dead.

Harry sighed heavily and just before he finally fell asleep one single dropped out of his eye and ran down his face.

He had actually prayed for his nightmares to stop now that he had experienced what they could do to him but judged after the confusion in his mind he knew that the next nightmare would not be far away.


	14. Back to School - Back to Normal?

_Now finally, chapter 14 is up!_

_First of all I really have to thank **Kitty Cat who kindly beta-read this for me and not only changed my mistakes in grammar and spelling but also gave me an advice here and there and the assurance that I was not going on too slow as I feared I was.**_

**_kaylakitty002__ be assured, there won't be any slash in this story and certainly no pregnant men. Especially not DRACO! So calm down, it's safe to go on reading._**

**_gina87__ Danke für die Ermutigung. Ich habe die Geschichte heute fertig geschrieben und sobald sie beta-gelesen ist (wo kommt _****der Ausdruck eigentlich her?) wird sie veröffentlicht. Falls ich nicht noch was ändern will, muss mal drüber schlafen.**

**_Avidia__ I hope I can keep up, I really do. Thanks a lot for your encouragement._**

**_Dalamar__, hope you received the mail. Deal's deal. I'd advice her fic to everybody, it's really angsty and somewhat 'disturbed', but promises to become good._**

**_GiggleGurl15__ stop crying please! _**

_All right, enough senseless babbling. Just one more thing: The story is finished! I just did it now and at the moment it's being beta-read. So I soon will be able to publish the rest of it (24 chapters at all, so 10 are still to come!). But of course, I need to get some **reviews to show me if it's really worth being published…[THAT SHOULD BE TAKEN AS A HINT! I WANT AT LEAST TEN REVIEWS] *evil grin* and I promise, there are still quite some surprises to come (If I don't decide to change the whole of it, but I don't think so. But maybe some small parts need adjusting.).**_

_Sorry if there are mistakes in the timeline, I've just changed it once too often I think. Mail me, flame me for it or just ignore it._

_Enjoy!_

**Back at School – Back to ****Normal****?**

Being back at school after all that had happened during the summer felt weird, Harry thought as he descended the stairs into the Gryffindor common room the next morning. Hermione was already waiting for him.

"Good morning Harry, where's Ron?"

"'Morning Hermione. He overslept a little but should come down in a minute. He told me to save him a seat at the breakfast table."

Hermione nodded.

"All right, let's go," she laughed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Wormtail!"

"Y-y-yes M-Master!"

Wormtail was on his knees again and crept closer towards Voldemort, head bowed.

"I have good news for you Wormtail. A task!"

"T-task M-Master?"

"Yes, a task. Don't faint! It's a task which suits your…abilities as a coward very well. You do know about our latest activities, do you not?"

Wormtail nodded.

"Sure master. Very successful."

Voldemort laughed harshly. 

"Successful? A few worthless muggles and even less wizards were killed at random, that's not what I call successful! It's been a prologue, Wormtail, nothing more. But I need someone to keep an eye on Dumbledore and his reaction. Somebody who watches him, and Potter and Black as well. Somebody who can easily live in disguise. Wormtail, you will go to Hogwarts to keep me informed."

"H-H-Hogwarts? But…I can't go there…"

"_Crucio!"_

Wormtail immediately fell over and screamed in pain. The curse felt as if his intestines were going to explode any moment and no matter how often Voldemort hat put him under that curse before, there was no way to be prepared for the pain it caused. After a while, Voldemort took the curse off him.

"Wormtail, you will go to Hogwarts and keep me informed about everything you witness there. I have already sent two owls ahead for your purpose. You will leave immediately. Did I make myself clear?"

"Yes Master."

Wormtail knew when he was defeated.

"Then leave. You may apparate to Hogsmeade. Don't fail on me Wormtail, you would regret it."

"No Master. I won't."

Wormtail left the room and hurried down the stairs. He didn't like the idea of returning to Hogwarts, not at all. It was far too dangerous, too many people knew about him. Harry of course, and Ron, their friend Hermione and that far-too-intelligent cat of hers; damn, even Severus Snape knew about him, let alone Dumbledore.

And Sirius wasn't far away either.

Wormtail shuddered as he thought about his former friend and partner in crime at school. That night in the Shrieking Shack, three years ago, Sirius would have killed him without hesitation had it not been for Harry. And now that Remus was dead as well, Sirius had become and incalculable risk.

Wormtail shook his head. As much as he disliked the idea, disobedience was no alternative for him. He would have to face the idea of going to Hogwarts. He'd find a hiding place where he could not be seen but could watch his targets closely. Then he'd lay back and let the others do the work. Soon, very soon, the wizarding community would be occupied with counting their casualties and mourning for them, they would not have the time to watch out for a small rat with an obvious interest in The Boy Who Lived.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Said boy was meanwhile sitting in Hogwarts' Great Hall with his friends and had breakfast. 

"Here Harry, our schedules."

Hermione handed Ron and him a piece of parchment each.

"What's first today?"

Harry looked at his schedule.

"Oh, we start straight away with DADA, then Potions and in the afternoon we got Herbology."

"Potions." Ron looked disgusted. "And with the Slytherins."

He made a face which caused Hermione and Harry to laugh. The three finished their breakfast and headed off towards the DADA classroom.

Harry felt his friends' concerned looks on him while he realized that attending classes in a room in which he had seen Remus every week, being alive and always smiling, proved to be a lot more difficult than he had imagined it to be. He took a deep breath, entered the room and sat down on his usual desk. Ron and Hermione had decided to remain silent and Harry was more than thankful for it. A couple of minutes later, Arabella Figg entered the room, gave them a smile and sat down at the teacher's table.

"Good morning class. My name is Mrs. Figg as you all know and I'm here to teach you means to defend against Dark Magic for this year. Professor Dumbledore has informed me that due to the momentary situation, he wants his students to be prepared on curses.

So this year, I'm going to teach you how to recognize  and counter Dark Curses. Please keep in mind that none of you is allowed to perform those curses, on the contrary, punishment will be very harsh for those who try to.

Now, let's see what we are going to start with…ah yes. Does any of you know the Calideius Curse?"

Hermione's hand shot straight into the air.

"Yes Ms. Granger?"

"Calideius sends the victim into a comatose state which is everlasting in case the counter curse is not performed in time."

Mrs. Figg nodded. 

"Very good Ms. Granger. Ten points to Gryffindor. Now, lets come to the counter curse…"

They kept examining Calideius and its counter curse for the rest of the lesson. At the end of the lesson Ron was even able to remove the curse from Neville.

"Very good Mr. Weasley. Fifteen points to Gryffindor. Homework will be a seven inch essay on Calideius to be handed in next lesson. Class dismissed."

They rose and left the classroom, heading towards the dungeons. Ron was still deeply impressed by Mrs. Figg's lesson as well as with his own abilities concerning the counter curse.

"Have you seen me? Just said the incarnation and – whop – Neville was back! I think Curse Breaking could be an opportunity for my future."  
Harry shook his head and laughed.

"Don't get over-enthusiastic. Now it's Potions and if you don't pay enough attention, your future might be really, really short."

He grinned at his friend as they took their usual seats at the back of the dungeon. Seconds later, Malfoy entered together with Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy Parkinson. He sat down on his desk in front of Snape's table and started talking in a loud voice.

"I wonder what we are going to prepare today. A Wolfsbane Potion would be 6th year's level. Oops, bad idea. Whom should we give it to? Luckily, the werewolf was 'removed' from the teacher's body."

Harry got up and raised his wand. He was still angry at Malfoy because of his behaviour the previous evening and enough was enough.

"Shut up Malfoy or you'll regret it!"

But Malfoy only smirked. Behind Harry, a cold voice interrupted.

"Mr. Potter, I don't appreciate students threatening others in my classroom. Thirty points from Gryffindor."

Snape had entered the room and looked at Harry with an emotionless expression.

"And now sit down before I take more points from your house."

Harry hurried to sit down while Snape started writing ingredients onto the blackboard. They would be studying healing potions that day.

"Now, each of you prepares his own potion today. You all need to know how it is prepared on your own."

Harry found it hard to focus on his ingredients. He was still so angry at Malfoy and hurt by his earlier verbal attack though he would have never admitted that. It was still hard for Harry to accept that Remus was dead.

Harry shook his head and once more tried to concentrate on his potion. It was turning bright blue, just like the receipt said it should. Harry was relieved and started cleaning up his table. Hermione was finished as well and Ron was just about to add the last ingredients. Both seemed to be content with their results. Poor Neville was fighting harder. His potion had turned into an ugly greyish brown and had started to smoke baldy.

"Longbottom! What have you done this time? Dandelion was to be added LAST! Now clean up this mess and pour your 'potion' down the drain. I would not dare to drink it even if my life depended on it! Twenty points from Gryffindor. Class may leave after everything is cleaned up!"

He shook his head and stormed out of the dungeon.

Ron, Harry and Hermione exchanged looks then sighed. They helped Neville, cleaning up his desk, and then went for lunch. 

Just as they had taken their seats, Professor McGonagall rose from the teacher's table, her face bearing a stern expression.

"Your attention please! All Herbology classes for today have been cancelled and students are not allowed in or even near the greenhouses!"

Harry frowned and turned towards his friends.

"Now what's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing serious." Ginny answered and blushed slightly from the other side of the table.

"We've had Herbology this morning together with the Slytherins…ahem…and things somehow got out of control. They said some nasty things about Professor Lupin and somebody in return…threw a pot of screaming water lilies at them, they threw something in return…well I think they have to redecorate Greenhouse 5 a little. Hagrid and Professor Sprout were repotting the plants when we left."

She grinned. "We all got detention, but it was worth it. We threw all the nasty plants at the Slytherins, they returned rather harmless ones. Nearly all of them are in the Hospital wing now. A pity that they never pay attention in class."

Ron shook his head.  
"Ginny, Ginny. Where shall this lead to?"

Again, Ginny grinned.  
"After all, I am a Weasley. I have to keep up a certain family reputation. And if I'm not much mistaken, you have an afternoon off thanks to my class and me. That is something, isn't it?"

Ron beamed and hugged his little sister. "It most certainly is. Now, what are we going to do today?"

Harry got up.

"I'll write to Sirius. Let's meet in the common room in about an hour, then we can make a plan, okay?"

Hermione and Ron nodded and so Harry left. He took out a piece of parchment and quill and ink and went into the owlery. He searched for a quiet spot, sat down and began to write. 

_Dear Sirius._

_Here at the castle everything is relatively fine. The feat last night was a lot more quiet than it used to, though. But life goes on, that's what I've already realized during the last hours. Ginny and her class have caused a little fracas in the Greenhouses this morning because the Slytherins were their usual slimy selves and now we have the afternoon off while they restore the greenhouses._

_But enough about me, how are you doing? I hope you arrived well at the new house._

_My last lesson on Friday ends at 14.30, if I take the Firebolt I'll arrive at your place around __quarter to three__. I hope you've slept and eaten enough. Just remember that I'll be with you on Friday and I'll surely realize it when you've not eaten enough. If you need to talk you know where to find me. Don't do anything stupid._

_Love, Harry._

Harry read the letter once again and sent it off with Hedwig who was very content with having something to do at last.

When Harry arrived at the common room five minutes later, Ron and Hermione were already waiting for him.

"Now, do you have a plan?"

Harry looked at his friends and saw that Ron made a face.

"What's wrong?"

"She", Ron gestured at his girlfriend "says that she has to go to the library. Can you believe it? It's our first day back and she wants to go to the library!"

Harry shrugged his shoulders. "That's Hermione. Oh come on Ron, it's not that bad. How about a game of chess then?"

Ron nodded and Hermione left. The boys had just finished their third game of chess when a tapping sound from the window made them look up.

"Hedwig, you're already back!"

Harry opened the window and the owl flew in, Sirius' reply bound to her leg. Harry untied and opened it.

_Dear Harry,_

_don't__ forget who's the adults and who's not! But if it calms you down: Yes, I am eating and sleeping quite normally. I have no chance to freak out because each day Hagrid, Dumbledore, Madam Pomfrey or one of the Weasleys come over or appear in the fireplace to make sure that I don't starve myself or anything._

_Dumbledore still wants to talk me into helping the Ministry but I don't know if I can do that. I mean yet. I don't know if I'm ready. We'll have a conversation on Thursday, then we'll see._

_But enough about me, what's going on in the castle?  
Never, never ever in seven years of marauding did we manage to get Herbology cancelled. Not even as much as postponed. Could you ask Ginny for her trick? Or are you more deeply involved than you want to admit? In the prank of course. Well, enjoy your afternoon off, we'll meet on Friday, __quarter to three__._

_Love, Sirius.___

Harry folded the letter and went into his dorm. He could feel quite clearly that Sirius wasn't doing half as well as he pretended, but he knew that there was nothing he could do about it. He sighed, frustrated, and fell back onto his bed. 

The rest of the week dragged on even though it was yet the first week in the new term. The only thing that kept Harry going was the prospect of meeting his godfather and now official guardian and substitute parent that Friday. 

Said Sirius meanwhile left the house on Thursday evening and headed for the Three Broomsticks, about to meet Dumbledore and to hear what he was intending to do against the increasing threat of Voldemort and the Death Eaters.


	15. Fighting the Incalculable

_You wanted it – you get it! Chapter 15 now up!_

_Thanks again to all of you who took the time to review so far. I have noticed that not really much happened during the last chapter, so I abandoned the 10-reviews-minimum requirement to publish this. But after this chapter, I want to have at least ten, or it will be the last! *tries to look stern but fails because she herself is enjoying it too much to publish her story*_

_I'll safe you from further babbling here, all I can say is…_

_Enjoy!_

**Fighting the Incalculable**

Sirius entered the Three Broomsticks and headed for the backroom. He knew that Dumbledore had asked what was left of the old Order to assemble there that night and he eagerly wanted to know what their plans were. 

Dumbledore knew as well as Sirius, as well as any reasonable human being, that Fudge was as incompetent as one could be in dealing with the Dark Lord and if developing own strategies helped overcoming the paralysis the Ministry was stuck in then Dumbledore was willing to do so.

Sirius entered the backroom where Arthur and Molly Weasley, Arabella Figg, Mundungus Fletcher, Mad Eye Moody and much to his surprise Bill and Charlie Weasley were already sitting on the only table in the room. He greeted them and took a seat next to Arthur.

Only seconds later, the door was opened again and Dumbledore, McGonagall and Snape entered.

"Good evening everybody. Ah Sirius, I'm glad that you decided to come tonight."

Dumbledore smiled and sat down, but from the look on Snape's face Sirius judged that he was not half as glad as Dumbledore. The smile had vanished from the headmaster's face as fast as it had appeared.

"I know that it is of no use to hide the facts from you. The Ministry is completely helpless at the moment as far as I know. For more than a year Voldemort has done hardly more than assembling his allies around him but I fear that the attacks last week were only the beginning.

What really worries me is that we don't seem to have a way to find out what they are going to do next. So the reason I asked you to come here tonight is for one ask you whether you have any useful information for us and for another whether you have any idea how we can prepare for the incalculable."

He looked around in the room and Sirius was startled by the fact that Dumbledore, who normally appeared to be knowing a lot more than any of them, seemed to be helpless. 'He doesn't have any idea either' Sirius thought.

Arthur spoke.

"As you said Albus, the Ministry is rather confused these days. They put more effort in hiding what has happened from public, both muggle and wizard, than they do in finding means to fight back. I don't think that we can rely on Fudge and his men to develop a useful strategy. They don't seem to have any information as well, if they have then it's sources I don't have an insight into. I had hoped that you knew more."

Dumbledore shook his head but at the moment he wanted to say something in return, Snape suddenly started talking.

"The problem is gaining information. I can't spy on the Death Eaters like I did in the year before Voldemort's downfall anymore, they don't trust me. I don't have access to anybody in the Inner Circle though I can guess very well who they are. All I have are contacts to people in the outer circle and I don't know how valuable the information I can gather from them is. I have neither been told about the attacks nor has there been any hint at Death Eater activity at all."

He shrug his shoulders.

"They could start another attack any moment and there would be nothing that we could do to prevent it."

Sirius had shaken his head slightly for the past minutes.

"Then what is the use in all this? If Snape can't get any information, neither of us can. If we don't have any information, we cannot be prepared. Dumbledore, what do you expect us to do? Why did you ask me to come here tonight?"

"Sirius, tell me again about Harry's breakdown the night of the first attack."

Everybody in the room threw questioning looks at Sirius and Dumbledore.

"I cannot see the use in it, but if you like. I was upstairs when I heard Harry screaming downstairs. I ran into the living room and found him lying on the floor, suffering from serious pain without any visible reason, hands clutched tightly against his forehead. It took more than ten minutes until the pain vanished and he lost consciousness. His scar was swollen and…well, I don't have any words for it. It didn't look like a fifteen year old scar anymore, it looked as if it had hardly healed. Harry slept for a long time and didn't remember anything when he finally woke up."

Dumbledore nodded.

"As you know, Voldemort was seen to participate in the attack that afternoon. He used the Cruciatus Curse and I think that's what Harry felt. Voldemort however didn't use it to torture alone, he used Cruciatus to kill that afternoon. You all know what that means, you all know that using Cruciatus on that purpose needs a powerful wizard and you all know that it is one of the most cruel things that can be done. We have to find a way to stop this, we have to stop it before war breaks out. What we need is a point where we can start.

Severus, I know that I ask a lot of you, but I need you to use your old contacts now. Try to get as close to the inner circle as you can. Maybe that's what they expect, maybe they try to trap you and I only ask you to do this if you're really willing to."

Snape nodded. "You know my answer."

"Good. Alastor, Arthur, Mundungus, you will keep an eye on the Ministry. Try to separate them into people who are too tightly bound to Fudge and into those who could be of help. Convince as many Aurors as possible of the fact that listening to Fudge no longer is a reasonable alternative. Set them off in search of any Death Eater activities or hiding places, whatever information you can gather. And sent somebody trustworthy off to have an eye on the Malfoys. Maybe you yourself should do this Arthur. I have the feeling that Lucius is deeply involved in all this."

Both nodded.

"Bill, Charlie, I want you two to have an eye on the developments outside of England. You already have connections through your jobs, try to find out anything that could be of help. But remain careful. Stay together, never act on your own and if you need any help or notice anything strange, no matter how unimportant it seems, contact your father or me immediately."  
"Yes sir."

"Now Minerva, Arabella, there is hardly anything you two can do at the moment than to convince trustworthy friends of yours. Arabella, would you agree to take over Severus' classes for I fear that he will no longer be able to come back to Hogwarts on a regular basis."

"Sure Albus."

They all rose and wanted to leave but Dumbledore gestured Sirius and Snape to remain seated. When everybody had left, Dumbledore turned towards Sirius.

"I know that you wonder why I asked you to come here tonight. There is something about which we didn't tell you until now. That is because it's rather a speculation than a fact but the more I think about it the more I am convinced of the idea."

Sirius looked puzzled.

"What is it?"

Much to his surprise it was Snape who answered this question.

"It was I who came up with the speculation and before I tell you I would ask you to answer me some questions to confirm it. I don't want to raise your temper even more without clear reason, I want to leave that room on my own, you know."

Sirius frowned.

"I don't see the use in it yet but go along."

"When Voldemort still was in power he wanted the Potters dead, so much we know. Am I right that both Lupin and you were more than once tempted or threatened to hand them over?"

Sirius slowly nodded.

"Yeah. The tempting was done with Remus, some colleagues of his let accidentally slip that 'dark creatures' were treated well in Voldemort's circles and that he had found ways to make things easier for them. Remus never talked about it that much, but they first tried to make him curious. He wanted nothing more than lead a normal life, a life without hiding what he was. But the temptation was not enough, the prize of giving Lily and James away was too high, so they tried to offer him the possibility of revenge on those who had treated him bad over the years. Though the seduction was high", he stared at Snape with everlasting disgust, "he resisted. The actual threatening was done to me. First very subtle by people working for the Ministry at that time, then more clearly. But none of us ever gave in and after some time they realized it I think."

Snape nodded.

"That's why they wanted you dead."

"Yeah, but why do you bring that up now?"

"Because when I heard about Lupin's death that was the first thing that came to my mind. You just said it, they tempted Lupin with the promise of revenge. He only had to give Lily and James away and he would be given the revenge he longed for. I think that's what they're trying to do to you now."

"But you forget that James and Lily are dead, what could I give them in return?"

"Are you really so thick Black? Use your brain just once, it's not only for decoration." Snape now hissed at him.

"Harry."

Dumbledore nodded.

"Whatever Voldemort tried, he could not kill Harry. And now he is protected with all our might. Voldemort needs to get hold of him and what would be better than using the one person Harry would trust his life to without hesitation?"

Sirius thought for some long moments.

"So I am right if I suppose that you want me to pretend that I'm willing to sacrifice Harry for my personal revenge?"

Dumbledore and Snape nodded.

"Yes, and delivering Sirius Black would be a possibility for us to get Severus back close to the Inner Circle."

Sirius shook his head.

"You're nuts. Both. That boy's been through more than enough already, I can't put him into this danger!"

Snape glared at him.

"It's not that you have to take Harry, go to Voldemort and say 'Look what I brought you'! We only need to convince them that you are _willing to do it."_

Sirius still shook his head.

"I can't. I'm sorry Dumbledore, but I can't."

He got up.

"Please Sirius, think about it. Talk to Harry. You know that I would not risk his life at random and even if you decide to help us his life won't be in more danger than it is now. And think about what he has been going through during the last attack."

Sirius left without another word. He didn't show it but he was fuming with anger. What did Dumbledore think? He could not risk Harry's life, not like that. He had sworn to James that he would do anything to protect Harry, he could never look into a mirror again if he agreed to that lunatic idea. He would not even mention it in front of Harry tomorrow.

Sirius opened the door of his small house and went into the bedroom. Longingly, he looked at the bed but he knew that sleeping was out of question. It would involve dreaming and he could not stand that tonight. So Sirius went into the bathroom and swallowed a phial of Waking Potion, then he paced the living room for hours, thinking Dumbledore's suggestion over and over again.

The next morning, Harry woke with a start. His scar hurt like mad and just as he had gotten up to drink some water he heard it. It wasn't somebody in his room talking, it was a voice that seemed to be inside his head, yet far away at the same time. It said just one word, but that word made Harry's stomach jerk in his last moments of conscious thoughts. The voice said "Crucio".

  
Ron opened his eyes and for a moment thought why he had woken up all of a sudden. Then he heard the scream. It was Harry screaming. Ron immediately pulled the curtains of his four-poster aside and found Harry lying on the floor, still in his pyjamas, knees drawn to his chest, hands clutched against his head, screaming in pain and agony.

"Harry!"

He knelt at his friend's side and touched his shoulder but Harry didn't react. His body was tensed all over and he didn't respond. Neville, Dean and Seamus had gotten out of their beds as well, all bearing shocked expressions.

"What is going on Ron?"

"I don't know. Get Dumbledore, McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey immediately!"

The three stormed off and Ron was left alone with Harry.

"Harry? Harry, can you hear me? What shall I do?"

But Harry still didn't respond. Ron tried to remove Harry's hands from his forehead but it took him a lot of force to do so and he managed it only for a short moment before Harry pressed them back onto his scar. Ron's eyes widened even more. Harry's scar was bleeding.

He shook his head.

"Harry, please! Tell me what I can do, I want to help you but I need to know what's wrong. Harry!"

"I fear there is nothing we can do at the moment Mr. Weasley."

Ron turned around and found Dumbledore coming towards him, kneeling down at Harry's other side. Seconds later Madam Pomfrey came into the room.

"Poppy, bring him to the Hospital Wing please. I'm afraid there is nothing we can do against the pain but prepare some potions that that cure the after effects of the Cruciatus Curse."

Madam Pomfrey nodded and conjured a stretcher on which she waved Harry out of the room. If she found any of Dumbledore's orders unusual, she didn't show. Ron however did.

"Cruciatus? What…How?"

Dumbledore shook his head.

"Not now Mr. Weasley. We will tell you but now there are urgent matters to be done. Poppy will take care of Harry, maybe you can visit him later, after breakfast. Try to calm down a little, I will explain everything as soon as time allows."

And he turned around and left the dormitory, leaving a very confused Ron behind.

"Ron, is Harry alright?"

Neville, Dean and Seamus were standing in the doorway. Ron shrug his shoulders.

"I don't know, he didn't tell me what was wrong with him. Said he would explain when he had time."

Neville lay a comforting hand on Ron's shoulder. "It'll be all right, just try to calm down."

Ron nodded. "Yeah. I think I'll get dressed now and…tell Hermione."

When he came down into the Common Room, Hermione was already sitting in an armchair. Seeing her boyfriend, she jumped to her feet.

"Ron! What happened, Lavender told something about Harry being brought to the Hospital wing and that he was screaming!"

Ron said nothing but took her into his arms. Then he told her what had happened that morning which seemed to upset her even more.

"Ron, we have to look for him!"

"No Mione we can't. They won't let us in the Hospital wing now. Dumbledore said he would explain later and maybe we can visit Harry after breakfast."

Hermione nodded and wiped away a tear. 

"OK."

When they arrived, the Great Hall was already bursting with rumour talk. It seemed that everybody up to now knew what had happened in the Gryffindor dormitory that morning and everybody seemed to have an explanation of his own.

They had just sat down when Malfoy came into the Hall with his Slytherin friends.

"Heard that Potter fainted this morning. What's wrong, Dementors in the castle?"

Pansy Parkinson giggled.

Ron said nothing but got up, rushed past Crabbe and Goyle who were far too slow to catch him, grabbed Malfoy by the neck of his robe and pushed him against the next wall.

"Shut the fuck up ferret! You of all people should know that Harry had no problem with Dementors, I can remember quite clearly that his Patronus knocked you off your feet. But believe me, if I hear anything from you for the rest of the day, I'll beat the shit out of you so that you wish you had never been born!"

He let go and walked back to the table but turned around half-way.

"And you would be in good company, I know a lot of people who actually wish you had never been born!"

He sat down beside Hermione and started his breakfast.

Sirius sat on the sofa in the living room with a large cup of coffee in front of him. He was scanning the pages of the Daily Prophet for some interesting news when he heard Dumbledore's voice from the fireplace.

"Sirius?"

He put the paper aside and looked up.

"Dumbledore, what is it?"

"Sirius, please come to the castle immediately. It's about Harry."

Sirius' eyes widened.  
"What happened?"

"His classmates informed me half an hour ago that he was lying on the floor in his dormitory, screaming in pain. We've brought him to the hospital wing immediately, I think it would be good if you were there."

Sirius nodded and got up, only half realizing that his legs didn't seem to support him fully.

"I'll be there in ten minutes."

Dumbledore vanished and Sirius hurried to grab his broom. He didn't even bother to lock the door or to turn off the coffee machine in the kitchen, all he could think of was getting to Harry as fast as possible.

He landed his broom at the main entrance and ran off towards the hospital wing. Students threw curious looks at him but he didn't care. Harry, he had to get to Harry.

He literally burst into the Hospital Wing, causing Madam Pomfrey to give him a stern look.

"Where's Harry?"

"Over there Sirius." Her expression softened as she realized his concern. "The headmaster is with him."

Sirius nodded and drew back the curtains around the bed the nurse had shown him. Dumbledore was sitting in a chair next to the bed Harry lay in. Harry was pale like the covers he lay on, he was unconscious and there was a bandage around his head.. Sirius sat down at the edge of the bed.

"Dumbledore what's happened?"  
"I think the same that has happened the day before he came here. Only worse."

Sirius bit his lower lip and took Harry's hand. It was cold.

"Another attack?"

"Yes, I talked to Fudge shortly. I don't know the details though."

"How long has the curse lasted?"

"We don't know exactly when it started, but my estimation is twenty to twenty five minutes. His scar has started bleeding."

Sirius ran his free hand across his face as if he was searching for something to say in return. He felt Dumbledore's hand on his shoulder.

"I'll leave you now. I think it would be good if you were here when he awakes. I'll explain to his roommates as much as they need to know, they were rather upset. Ron and Hermione surely want to come but I think this will have to wait. However, I'll explain them the full extend of what has happened, I think it's no use hiding it from them. They're already concerned enough. Nobody will disturb you here, I'll make sure."

Sirius nodded.

"Thank you."

Dumbledore left and Sirius took a firm hold on Harry's hand while he softly stroke his cheek with the other.

"It's okay now Harry, it's over. I'm here. Just sleep, I will be here when you wake up, I won't let anybody harm you anymore."

McGonagall led Ron and Hermione towards her office and made them sit in front of her desk. A couple of moments later, Dumbledore entered the room and sat down in front of them.

"Hermione, Ron, I know that you are concerned about Harry. Everybody is. But I have to tell you that you can't visit him now, not until he is conscious again. Sirius is with him at the moment, I think that's for his best.

However, I think I have to explain the little we know about what is ailing him to you. 

He has had such an attack before, on the day previous to his journey to Hogwarts. We connect this fits to the Death Eater attacks that have taken place both that day and this morning. I can't tell you about the latest attack, I have not been able to gather information myself. But we know for sure that Harry shows the symptoms of somebody who is put under the Cruciatus Curse and we know for sure that during the last attack Voldemort has used this curse to torture somebody to death. Our explanation so far is that Harry's connection to Voldemort, both through his scar and through the blood he gave for Voldemort's resurrection, causes him to suffer from the curse when Voldemort uses it to kill. It takes a lot of strength to kill with Cruciatus, a lot of focus and summoning of every magic ability within the person who uses that curse, we think that this causes their bond to…'activate' if you want to. However, Harry doesn't suffer the full extend of that curse, otherwise he would not be alive anymore. That at least is something.

I know this sounds hard, but I thought you had the right to know."

He looked at his students who seemed to be more than just disturbed. Finally, Ron spoke.

"Is there something we can do for him?"

Dumbledore smiled. Had it not been for the Marauders he had known he would have said that he had never seen a friendship like this before. So much care and loyalty, it was a silver bond at the dark horizon.

"Not now Ron, not now. He will be very tired when he wakes up and all we can do is help him feel comfortable. Last time he couldn't remember anything and I do hope that it is like that this time as well. It would be better for him. I'll tell you as soon as he wakes up, maybe you should go to class right now. A little distraction could be helpful."

He smiled at them and the three left McGonagall's office.

Hidden behind the wastepaper basket in the corner sat a pale rat and had it not been common knowledge that rats could not do such thing, any observer at that moment might have said that it smirked.


	16. Decision

**Decision**

Peter Pettigrew ran towards the Forbidden Forest as fast as his four little feet would allow him. His master would be very pleased with the news he was about to deliver.

Harry Potter suffering from the Cruciatus Curse every time Voldemort used it to kill, if that was not news worth a reward he knew not what was.

When he had reached the little landing where the two owls waited for him he transformed into human form again, quickly wrote everything he had heard down on a parchment, used the disguise charm Voldemort himself had taught him for that purpose and sent one of the owls off.

Now, he decided, it was time for some sleep. He'd return into the broom cabin he spent his time in, if his master has new instructions he would get to know no matter where he was.

Harry stirred.

"Sirius?"

"Don't talk. You need rest now."

"What…"

"Shhh. Sleep now. You really need rest."

"Sirius, what has happened?"

Sirius sighed. That boy could be very persisting if he wanted to know something. 

"You've had another fit, just like the day before you returned to Hogwarts. It's been worse this time, you'll need some time to recover."

"Another attack?"

"Yes. But I don't know anything further and you should really sleep now. Please."

Sirius sounded pleading now. Harry nodded and closed his eyes again, immediately falling asleep. Sirius watched him for a long time, lost in his thoughts. He had not been there this morning but he remembered quite clearly the pain Harry had been in the last time he had suffered from the curse. And this time it had lasted twice as long. From all that he could tell this experience had really weakened Harry and though he obviously didn't suffer from the full extend of the curse, Sirius knew that he could not stand this pain for much longer than he had done today.

He could not allow Voldemort to do this to his godson again, 'No', he reminded himself, 'not my godson but in front of law he is my son now.' And he surely loved Harry as if he was his own son. 

A decision formed in his mind. If it was necessary to stop the torture, he would take the required means even if he didn't like them. He would help Dumbledore with his plan. He could not let Harry's suffering go on like that.

An hour later the headmaster came into the Hospital wing and after he had looked after Harry Sirius gestured him towards a spot out of earshot from Harry.

"Dumbledore, I have thought about what you suggested last night. Though I still don't like the idea, I can't let Harry suffer like this and if participating in your plan promises even a little help I'm more than willing to do it. I will let Voldemort know that I want to have my revenge for Remus, you were right, this is the only way we have right now to get the information we need."

Dumbledore nodded.

"Don't think that the decision was easy for me Sirius, it wasn't. But Harry will be in Hogwarts and he will be under my protection here, there's no way that we will really deliver him. And considering his current state every action against Voldemort might be an improvement for him. But we're not going to do anything today or tomorrow. Let Harry rest, explain it to him when he wakes up again. I will talk to Severus. Let's meet tomorrow afternoon in my office, then we can make a plan."

"Okay."

Dumbledore nodded and left the Hospital wing and Sirius took his place at Harry's side once more. Little did they know that they were already running out of time…

Voldemort was indeed very pleased when he received that owl from Wormtail. He had not thought that the creepy little rat would be clever enough to gather such valuable information, but sometimes people could even surprise him. He immediately summoned Lucius Malfoy who arrived only minutes later.

"Master" He fell to his knees.

"Get up Lucius, I don't have time to watch you creeping around worshipping me. I've received rather interesting news from Wormtail. But first I need your report.

Tell me, how many did we kill this morning?"

Lucius, slightly caught off guard by this sudden change of topic thought for a moment before he answered.

"Thirty-three. All wizards, though none of the high-ranking at all. I mean none of those few who are not already working for us."

Voldemort nodded and smiled. Attacking the Ministry of Magic had been a brilliant idea, it was the place nobody would have expected them to strike next. Protection had been very poor indeed.

"You do remember that I used the Cruciatus Curse on one of those Aurors, what was his name…Fletcher? Used it until he was dead."

Lucius nodded.

"Well, what Wormtail reported me this morning is that, out of reasons that are not important now, the Potter boy suffers from the curse every time I use it to kill. And judging from how long it has taken to blow out Fletcher's candle, it most certainly has not been a very pleasant morning for Potter."

He gave Malfoy a grin.

"You know what that means?"

"No master, I'm afraid not."

"I should have guessed that. It means that they will surely act very soon. Dumbledore surely can't stand his precious little Potter suffering like that. I would bet that this traitor Snape will offer me Black, pretending to long for revenge for that werewolf. They really consider me that stupid Lucius, imagine that! And that will be their downfall. As I said, Dumbledore puts his trust into the wrong people. Snape is like an open book to me and Black cannot play stupid with me either.

What I need now is Potter and your son will be of help there. I need him to do something for me, something very important. Can you assure me that he won't fail?"

"He will be more than glad to be of help, rest assure. He won't dare to object, not that I would see the danger that he would. Just tell me, I have means to inform him without anybody finding out."

"I thought so much Lucius, that sounds like you. Now, listen carefully…"

"Mr. Weasley, may I have a word with you?"

Professor McGonagall had opened the door to the Charms classroom and gestured Ron to follow her. He shrug a gesture of ignorance at Hermione and then followed the deputy headmistress who led him into Gryffindor Common room. Much to his surprise, Ginny, Fred and George were already sitting there.

"Please sit down Mr. Weasley. I have to inform you about something and I think it is better you get to know it now and not later by rumour."

"What's wrong?"

You already know that there has been a Death Eater attack which caused Harry to collapse this morning. What you don't know yet is…that is has been the Ministry of Magic that has been attacked."

Ron swallowed hard against the lump of fear that built up in his throat.

"There have been deaths but I can reassure you that none of your family members is amongst them."

Ron breathed out heavily.

"However, your father has received some minor injuries which were treated at St. Mungo's, but he should be fine by now again. Your brother Percy was stunned and received a minor head injury when he hit his desk with his head. 

But…your eldest brother Bill has been there as well. For all that I know he wanted to meet there with your father and got involved into the fight. He's been put under Cruciatus and he received some nasty hexes and curses, none of it life threatening alone, but combined it makes his state a matter of concern. He still is unconscious and it will surely take some time for him to recover."

Seeing four pairs of eyes widened in fear in front of her, she gave them a short smile.

"Don't worry, as I was told his life is not in danger. However, your parents want you to come to St. Mungo's immediately. I've prepared a portkey which will take you there, you don't need to pack your stuff, I'll have it sent to the Burrow this evening. I'll inform your friends about it."

The three boys nodded, all too stunned by the news to say anything. Ginny started crying, Bill was very dear to her. He was the eldest brother and she was the youngest sibling, he had always been the role model for her. George reacted fastest and pulled her towards his chest.

"Don't cry Gin. You've seen Bill with that mummy three years ago, if he could deal with that nasty thing then some bloody curses are nothing to worry about. He'll wake up soon out of the fear that Mom cuts his hair while he's passed out."

This statement forced a little smile from Ginny and while she tried to wipe away her tears she didn't catch the glance the twins exchanged before grabbing the portkey. But Ron did. The twins were concerned and if there was one thing that could scare the living daylight out of Ron then it was the fact that his always so cheerful and optimistic brothers were concerned about something.

The rise of Voldemort and the attacks of the Death Eaters had gained a new quality to the Weasleys. Voldemort's followers had crossed a line, they had dared to attack members of the Weasley family. His father, Percy or Bill could have been killed that morning! 

Ron quickly put that thought aside, he didn't dare to think about it. This was one of the things he had always feared most, though he had never admitted that to himself. Sure, Percy was an annoying git most of the time and Bill was not even home for most of the year but they were his brothers. He loved them, not matter what. All of them.

Ron shook his head. He needed to get his mind clear now, there was no use in asking 'what if' questions. He wanted to see his family now.

He grabbed the portkey as well and soon felt the well-know tickling behind his stomach which indicated that they were on their way.

Harry was recovering a lot faster than anybody had imagined him to do. At noon the next day he could already walk around in the infirmary though Madam Pomfrey threw a fit when she caught him doing so. 

Professor McGonagall had informed him about Ron's father and his brothers shortly after the Weasley children had left and Harry had been very concerned indeed. But at breakfast that morning Pig had flown into the hospital wing (at which Madam Pomfrey had thrown her first fit of the day) and had delivered a note from Ron which said that the doctors expected Bill to recover fully within a fortnight. He had woken up for a short time during the night and one of his first fears indeed, after asking about his brother and father of course, had been whether Molly had dared to touch his hair. This incident seemed to have relieved Ron a lot. Harry knew that he would have never admitted how dear his siblings, even Percy, were to him but Harry had seen them together so often and he knew exactly that one of them dying would cause Ron pain he could not imagine.

But there was something else that bothered him deeply.

Sirius had told him about his plans to pretend that he wanted to deliver Harry in order to get revenge for Remus that morning. Though he had told Sirius that he was fine with the decision if Sirius thought that he had to take the risk, deep inside he didn't want him to go. He actually had a very bad feeling about Sirius delivering himself to Voldemort, the whole plan felt…wrong.

He had told Sirius this and his godfather had only nodded.

"I know", he had said, "and I feel the same. But fact is that we need information about Voldemort's plans, otherwise we cannot prevent further attacks. And this at the moment seems to be our only possibility to gather that information. I promise I'll be careful. Let's just wait what Dumbledore and Snape have developed, then we'll see."

Then he had left to meet the headmaster and Snape and he had not returned yet.

Harry shook his head and forced down a spoonful broth before Madam Pomfrey would throw her third fit of the day because he refused eating. Actually he was quite hungry, he had not eaten anything since dinner two nights ago for he had been sleeping most of the past day, but somehow he could not manage to focus on eating. Too many thoughts were running through his head.

"Posing for a portrait, are we?"

Harry looked up and saw the smiling face of his godfather beside him. He had neither realized that Sirius had stepped beside the bed nor had he realized that his hand, still holding the spoon, had come to rest halfway between the bowl and his mouth. He smiled.

"Yeah, it's called 'Potter in bed with spoon'."

"Would look good on the mantelpiece above the fireplace."

Sirius sat down on the edge of the bed and his expression changed from smiling to serious.

"How has your meeting with Snape and Dumbledore been?"

Sirius shrug his shoulders.

"As far as I can guess both like the idea as little as we do. Voldemort might ask himself why I want revenge now that Moony is dead for nearly two months. As far as the plan is concerned…well, the problem is we don't have a plan and we can hardly develop any. Snape will inform some of his contacts tonight that he thinks I am furious enough now to betray you in order to get my revenge. Then we can only wait, if they react he'll contact me. 

I can't change it, I still have a bad feeling about it. This 'plan' is too obvious, I don't think that Voldemort will fall in for it. I just can't imagine. But maybe we can gather information even if things turn out other than we imagine them to do."

Slowly, Harry nodded.

"Just be careful, please promise."

Sirius took his hand.

"Listen Harry, I would not do it if there was any other possibility, you know that. Chances are not very good that we receive the information we need but we simply have to try. We cannot watch people get killed at random anymore, we need to know what Voldemort is up to.

But I have a very bad feeling of leaving you alone because if I don't come back you again won't have a family. That's what worries me most. I have talked to Dumbledore about it and made him promise that no matter what happens you won't return to the Dursleys. If things go wrong and I don't come back you'll stay with the Weasleys if they agree."

Harry swallowed hard. Of course he had thought about the possibility that Sirius could be killed, but hearing it spoken out had a totally different quality. He pressed Sirius' hand tightly.

"Just come back. If you realize that it goes wrong don't play hero please. Just try to come back."

Sirius nodded.

"I promise. But let's quit that, nothing will happen tonight, I won't leave before tomorrow. How was your day, how are you doing?"

"I'm fine, really. Hermione was here this afternoon and now that we know that Bill is doing better it's a relief. She'll come back tomorrow if I'm still here then. Nothing else has happened except from Madam Pomfrey throwing fits at anything I do. But she has told me that I can leave tomorrow morning if I eat enough and take a Dreamless Sleep Potion after I've finished eating."

Sirius nodded.

"That's a relief. If you want, I'll stay here tonight."

Harry said nothing but pressed Sirius' hand again. Sirius got up.

"Good. Finish eating, I'll get that potion for you."

He got up and went towards Madam Pomfrey's office while Harry spooned down the last bit of the broth. After some moments Sirius returned and handed Harry a goblet with the potion. Harry drank it, made a face at the taste and lay back on his pillow. He closed his eyes and fell asleep immediately.

Sirius sighed and brushed some strands of Harry's hair from his forehead. The bandage had been removed this morning and his scar had returned nearly to its normal state. It was still a little swollen and had a deeper red than usual but it didn't cause Harry any pain anymore.

Sirius took Harry's hand once again and did something he had not done for a very long time. He prayed. 

Sirius had never been a very religious person but that night he begged any god he knew to turn things towards the better. Not for him, but for Harry. It took him a long time to fall asleep that night.

The next morning Harry woke up and realized that Sirius was not sitting by his side anymore. His heart started beating frantically. He could not have left without saying good bye, could he? But he had been sleeping and maybe Sirius had had to leave immediately…but what if he would never see him again?

His mind was still fogged from the potion as he tried to get out of bed, so he stumbled over his shoes and fell. Just before his head hit the floor a pair of arms grabbed him by the shoulders and moved him into an upright position again.

"Harry, what exactly are you doing here?"

"Sirius? You were not there when I woke up and I thought that you had already left. I wanted to see if I could catch up with you, I thought maybe you had not gone that far and you can't just leave like that I thought at least not without saying good bye…"

Sirius lay a finger across Harry's lips and helped him climbing back into the bed.

"Harry, you're babbling. Calm down, you're breathing as if you had just run a marathon."

He adjusted the blankets around Harry.

"Hey, I would never leave without saying good bye, you know that. Relax. I was just talking to Madam Pomfrey for a short moment and when I came I saw you falling to the floor. I think we won't tell the nurse about this little incident, otherwise she won't give you a clean bill of health."

"I can go?"

Sirius nodded.

"After you have eaten breakfast you may leave. It's already late, nearly noon in fact. We can spend the rest of the day together, you don't have to return to classes today."

Harry looked into Sirius' eyes and suddenly he knew. "You're leaving today."

Again Sirius nodded.

"Yes. Snape has told me that his contacts want to meet me tonight I don't know whether they will take me to Voldemort or not, we'll see. I have to go late afternoon. Now eat you breakfast, we'll talk about it later. I'll be back in half an hour, I have to talk to Dumbledore now."

He ruffled Harry's hair in a helpless gesture and left the room.

'Showtime', Harry thought. 'He'll leave tonight.' A heavy lump started to form in his stomach.

He sighed deeply and started his breakfast.

When Sirius returned Harry was ready to leave. They did not return to Gryffindor Tower however but Sirius took Harry into one of Hogwarts guest rooms.

"Dumbledore thought that maybe we would want to have some time on our own before I have to leave."

"He didn't think that, he knew that. Sometimes he scares me, he always seems to know what is going on in my mind."

Sirius laughed.

"That's true. He could always tell whether I was really guilty when I once more stood in his office with a fuming McGonagall next to me. Well, I think it was not too difficult, most of the times I actually was guilty as accused."

"Sirius, could you do me a favour?"

"Sure."

"Tell me something more about my parents. I know that I have Dad's journal, but you are the last remaining friend of theirs, the only one who can tell me from his own point of view. I want you to tell me something."

Sirius smiled and thought for a moment. 

"What do you want to hear? About a prank? No, Lily was hardly ever involved in those and you can read all of them in our journal. Let's see. How about their wedding?"

Harry nodded. 

"Well, it was May 28th 1979 in Mayfield, a town in East Sussex. The Marauders had thrown a party for James two nights before and we were still quite…tired from it. Okay, I admit it, tired is not the right way to put it. I swear I've never had such a hangover before. I would have overslept had Remus not woken me up in time.

It was a beautiful day and the service took place in a small church at the edge of town. When Remus and I arrived there, James was already pacing up and down the aisle. He checked everything over and over again and he was nervous as hell. Really, I've never seen him like this before. He was actually really scared that Lily had changed her mind and would not show up. I know this sounds stupid, but he was frantic that something could go wrong.

When I saw him like this I decided not to pretend that I had lost the rings as I had intended to do. For the first time since I knew him he was in no mood for a prank.

Remus and I did our best to comfort him but without any effect, on the contrary, it only made him more nervous. In the end we were close to giving him a tranquillizer, believe me. Then the Minister told us to get started, all the guests were there, so James took his place at the altar with Remus and Peter and I walked out to bring the maid of honour to the altar.

I don't know what drugs your Mom had taken when she had made that decision, but she had talked your aunt into being her maid of honour and that nasty git nearly spoiled everything. First of all, she was late. And during the last preparations outside of the church she complained about everything. She obviously thought that marrying a wizard was bad enough, marrying with a party consisting nearly only of wizards made her throw a real fit. She even refused to take my arm at first and it took all my charm and one of my famous thousand-candles smiles to finally make her. I think she was just pissed off because your uncle had refused to come at all. 

We walked down the aisle and I stepped and stood beside your father. Just before the organist started the music he hissed at me that if I'd try to play any prank on him during the service he would hex me into next year without hesitation."

He laughed.

"Your father always knew me too well and I could never convince him that I had given up that idea on my own.

Then your mother came down the aisle with her father. She was…beautiful, there is no word to describe it better. You have pictures from the wedding, just look at them. That dress she wore, her hair, her face, but especially her eyes. She was sparkling all over, it was unbelievable. 

I realized that James was close to tears, he could not believe his luck himself I think.

The service was just wonderful. I can't remember that I've ever heard two people saying their vows with such a passion, such a feeling of being destined to be together. I mean, there was a war going on out there and here they were, declaring their love for each other in a way that you believed nobody and nothing could ever tear those two apart. There are no words to describe that. If anybody had earned something like that it was them, even if it didn't last as long as we all would have wished. I don't remember that much from the party, though. But the fact that your father didn't kill me on the spot must mean that I have not embarrassed anybody in my 'state'.

At the end of November that year your father visited me in my flat one day. I was quite surprised because he had not told me that he would come over. At first I thought that he had had a fight with your mother because he didn't seem to be himself somehow. But I soon realized that he would not be hopping around in my kitchen with a mad smile on his face if he had just had a fight with Lily. I really didn't know what he was up to and it took some awfully long minutes before he was able to say something at all. I really thought that he had gone mad. Or that Lily had practiced a weird new charm. I made him sit down, gave him a cup of tea and struggled hard against the urge to test what an additional Cheering Charm might do to him in that situation. Then he told me.

'Sirius, you won't believe it.'

'What?' was all that I repeated and he beamed even more.

'We're having a baby! Lily is pregnant! I'm going to become a father!'

There are no words to describe it, he was just so happy, and so was I. If I could depict any of us as a father then it was James. He hugged me so tight, he nearly broke my ribs and then he continued dancing around in the kitchen. He was – overexcited by the idea, he had always talked about having a Quidditch Team of children at home.

It took a while for him to calm down again. But now that he had finished with hopping around, he started babbling.

'I can hardly wait until he's born. I'll teach him all he needs to know. Flying, Quidditch, becoming an animagus if he wants to, some useful hexes for the Slytherins, marauding…he will be a great Marauder, Sirius, you know?'

'Just one question James.'

'Yes?'

'You talked about _him.'_

'It's a boy! The doctor told Lils just this morning! I'm going to have a son!'

But if I thought that James was nervous on the day of his wedding or on the day he told me that Lily was pregnant, believe me it was nothing compared to the day when you were born.

I had just come home from work and flung myself onto the sofa when an owl flew in. The note it carried consisted only of three words.

_St. Mungo's. Now!_

I didn't know what was going on and I thought that maybe something was going wrong with the birth so I immediately apparated to the hospital. Peter and Remus arrived shortly afterwards. We found James in the waiting room where he was pacing up and down.

We asked him whether anything was wrong and he told us that Lily had thrown him out of the delivery room because he was driving her insane with his nervousness. It was really hard not to break into a laughing fit that moment. So we did everything we could to distract your poor father. We brought him some tea and something to eat, discussed the latest Quidditch results, even played Exploding Snap until the nurse threatened to throw us out of the hospital if we didn't stop making so much noise. 

But all the while James was looking at the door of the delivery room. We waited for four hours and just as we were discussing possible names, though we knew that Lily and James had already chosen a name for you, and Remus was trying to hit me because I had suggested to name you 'Jonathan', the door opened and the nurse gestured us in.

Lily only said 'I should have known they are here' but smiled. She looked a little tired but that's all. And in her arms she held you, wrapped in a blanket. 

James gave her a kiss and then she handed you to him. I've never seen him so proud before. He held you in his arms, counted your fingers and toes and babbled senseless stuff, crying all the time. 

After some minutes he walked towards me, handed you over to me and said 'Sirius, may I introduce Harry James Potter to you.' And there you were. Some strands of black hair standing off in every direction, blue eyes staring curiously at me and all the while you made a face as if you were bursting into tears any moment."

Sirius looked up at Harry.

"I really thought you didn't like me very much. Well, I didn't know what Lily had told you about your father's friends, she never appreciated our pranks very much."

He smiled.

"After some time, Remus and Peter left while your father asked me to stay a little longer. He left you with your mother and went out in the corridor with me. Somehow it seemed to me that something was bothering him, so I waited for him to talk it off his chest.

'Sirius, I have talked to Lily and we want to ask you something. We want to ask you whether you would want to become our Harry's godfather.'

I was startled. I had expected anything but this.

'James, you can't be serious about this. I'm not good with children at all.' That was true, I never knew exactly what to do when somebody handed me a baby or a small child. All of a sudden your father turned serious.

'Sirius, we want to make sure that Harry has somebody who cares for him in case anything happens to us. And with Voldemort out there, nobody knows what tomorrow will bring. We want to know that if we are no longer able to take care of our child he will be with somebody who cares for him. With somebody we trust, somebody who will be able to protect him and who will tell him about his parents. The only people we could think of are you and Remus. And the Ministry would never allow him to become our child's guardian. But if you agree, he will grow up with two of our closest friends around, that's all we could wish for him.'

I only nodded and could hardly say yes. James had always had a talent to find my soft spots. Your father beamed.

'Thank you Sirius, this means a lot to Lils and me.'

That's how I became your godfather.

It was a happy day. One of the very little happy days at that time."

Harry sighed and hesitated one moment before he asked what was on his mind.

"Sirius, do you know where my parents are buried?"

If Sirius was surprised by this question, he didn't show. He nodded.

"Yes. On a small graveyard near Godric's Hollow."

"Have you been there?"

"Once. Shortly after my name was cleared."

"Sirius, I want you to take me there when you come back. I want to see their graves. I think I need to do this. I…I need to say good bye."

Sirius nodded.

"I understand. I promise to take you to Godric's Hollow and to their graves as soon as all this is over."

He looked at the clock on the wall.

"It's about time Harry. I have to leave."

He got up and stood in front of Harry then gave him a long hug. They didn't say anything, words were not necessary at that moment.

Sirius once more ruffled Harry's hair, then turned around and opened the door.

"Be careful."

Hearing Harry's words he turned around and forced himself to smile.

"I will."

And he left.

For some long moments, Harry stood in the room and looked at the door. Then he shook his head and walked off towards Gryffindor Tower in order to get his Firebolt. He needed to fly now.

He didn't notice that Draco Malfoy followed him closely. 


	17. Trapped

I just realized that I have never written this before (not that you would not have guessed before, but):

I don't own anything here except the plot, all characters (unfortunately) belong to goddess J.K. Rowling who keeps us all waiting for the real fifth book. I only own the plot. If I owned anything, there would be more, A LOT MORE Remus and Sirius (okay, maybe no more Remus for he is dead), but definitely more Sirius. 

**_Avidia__: Would send you a huge supply of handkerchiefs if I could for I fear that this has not been the last time you cried. __*looks sad*_**

**_Leonie__: Danke für den review, es tut immer gut auch mal was auf Deutsch zu lesen. Nicht traurig sein, jetzt fängt die Action langsam an. Also, lies weiter und BITTE, hör nicht auf zu reviewen!_**

**_Kazza__: Oh yeah, Draco is being naughty. Even more so now. And in the future. I LOVE Draco for being naughty! And poor Harry has to take the consequences._**

**_holyfree__: As I wrote you, it would spoil the surprise if I told you THIS right now, wouldn't it? Just read on, tell me your suspicions in a review if you like. I would really like to know what you guess the story will end like. Thanks a lot._**

**_My anonymous reviewer who hates me though I asked you all not to do so__: Yeah, sorry for that but it was necessary for the plot (lame excuse, isn't it?). But if you read on you'll realize that not only Remus  is dead but also Sirius suffers terribly. Sorry for that. But please, keep on reading, I think you'll like the rest of the story._**

**_anaticulapraecantrix__ (do you want to torture me in writing this name?): Glad you liked my little flashback in the last chapter. I myself think it's really cute, I loved writing it! Sorry, but I'm afraid Draco won't go away, exactly the opposite – he's approaching!_**

_And now – Enjoy!_

**Trapped**

Harry rummaged his trunk in the dormitory in search of his father's journal. He would go to the grounds to read a little in it, Sirius' stories about his parents had made him curious for more. Then he would fly a little and return to the castle for dinner.

He found the book, grabbed his Firebolt and left the castle. 

Only moments after he had left, Draco Malfoy cautiously opened the front doors and walked after him.

He had actually been quite uneasy when his father had told him what the Dark Lord wanted him to do. He didn't know how he could manage to do it but he knew exactly that he had no choice than to try. But now…it was even easier than he had imagined it to be, he could not believe his luck.   
Potter had sat down on a bench near the Quidditch Pitch and now was reading in a small black book. Draco quickly waved his wand and sent Wormtail the sign they had agreed on. Then he approached Potter who did not realize he was there because he had turned his back on him.

'Never offer your back to the enemy Potter. Never.'

He soundlessly stepped beside Harry and with a movement so quick that it was nearly invisible grabbed the book out of Potter's hands.

"Now, what do we have here? Doesn't look like a school book Potter!"

Harry jumped to his feet and tried to grab the book back.

"Give that back Malfoy! It's none of you business!"

But Draco only stepped back from him and laughed.

"And what exactly is it? Oh, James Potter's diary. Subtitle: How I fell in love with a mudblood and bred out a freak."

Draco jumped onto his broom and flew high into the air. From above he shouted.

"If you want it back Potter, come and get it! We'll see who the best flyer here is!"

And off he flew in the direction of the Forbidden Forest. Harry didn't think twice but jumped onto his Firebolt and followed as quickly as possible. He knew that his broom was a lot faster than Malfoy's. Soon he would have caught up with him and then this slimy little rat would have to pay. But the moment he had crossed the edge of the Forbidden Forest he noticed that something was not right. His broom suddenly jerked and slowed down.

'Hey, what's…' Harry didn't finish that thought for at that moment gravity claimed him and his broom and he started falling towards the grounds, taking most of the branches he hit with him.

He fell hard onto the floor though not as hard as he had thought he would. He was still conscious and he realized that his face and arms burned where the branches had scratched him.

He opened his eyes and just as he wanted to sit up, he could make out the blurred figure of a small man bending over him. He opened his mouth to ask for help in getting to his feet, but had no chance. He heard the word "_Stupefy", and then he knew no more._

When Harry opened his eyes he knew not where he was. He could remember that he had chased Malfoy because that prat had dared to steal his father's journal and as he had flown across the Forbidden Forest his broom had not worked anymore. He had fallen…and then there had been this man…he had stunned him. He had been trapped!

Harry immediately tried to rise into a sitting position but found that he couldn't move any of his limbs. 

"Ah, I see you have finally decided to wake up."

Harry tried to figure out from where that voice was coming but only when the figure moved into eyeshot he could make out whom it was.

"Wormtail."

The man grinned.

"So we meet again Potter. My master will be very pleased with me, I can finally deliver Harry Potter into his hands."

He waved his wand at Harry.

"You can move now but I would advise you not to try and run away. It would only make things worse."

He pulled Harry to his feet and dragged him out of the room. Harry could not make out his surroundings clearly, he was in some sort of hut or shelter and was pulled outside. There was a yard, surrounded by high stone walls and a Manor rose behind Harry. It looked old and uninhabited. He had never seen that place before.

Wormtail dragged him into the middle of the yard and forced him to kneel down.

"You wait here. My master will come soon and he has a little surprise for you."

Harry's stomach jerked. A surprise from Voldemort could not mean anything good. He struggled to get to his feed but Wormtail pressed the tip of his wand into Harry's neck.

"Don't even think about it Potter."

Moments later an only too well known high-pitched voice rung in his ears.

"Ah. Just as I want it. Harry Potter kneeling down in order to meet his fate. Eventually. Look up Potter, see what a surprise I have for you."

Harry lifted his head but even before he saw it he knew what it was. It had to be. 

Sirius was kneeling beside Voldemort, too exhausted to move any part of his body, his head pulled upwards by Voldemort's hand in his hair. There was blood on his face and his left hand held his side. Harry's eyes widened which caused Voldemort to utter a suppressed chuckle.

"Did you really think that I would fall for that little trick Dumbledore had planned? Did you really think that I would believe a single word out of the mouth of Severus Snape or Sirius Black? Unfortunately, your friend here didn't bring Snape along, but I'm sure he'll receive what he deserves soon. What do you say now Potter?"

Harry slowly got up.

"Whatever happens, I will not kneel in front of you, not as long as I have the strength to stand on my own feet."

Another laugh.

"Proud, aren't we? Now, unfortunately, your pride won't be of any help at all. This is the final step Potter. You won't survive this night and it will be my personal pleasure to make this a fact. And once that Harry Potter, the last hope of the '_Light __Side'", he spit those words out with unhidden disgust, "is no more, it will be too easy for me to take over. You've failed Potter. You and your guardian here who has obviously not been the best choice for the job."_

Harry had to restrain himself not to shout at the dark wizard in front of him. With a calm voice that didn't betray his upset thoughts he contradicted.

"We knew that our plan could fail but we will find a way to succeed in the end. You underestimate us Voldemort, you underestimate the fact that we are fighting for something higher than just power. We are fighting for aims of which we think they are worth sacrificing our lives for, but you don't see it. You made that mistake before when you didn't see my mother's sacrifice for what it was and you repeat that mistake now. You. Can't. Win."

Harry's gaze never left the red slits that represented Voldemort's eyes. For a moment he thought he saw them flicker, but a second later they stared back again in hatred.

"No Potter, you are the one who is making the mistake here. You are weak. You and all the others that fight alongside Dumbledore. You are weak because you are too close to the people at your side, so you suffer when they suffer. You feel pain when they do feel it and when they die a piece of you dies with them. This, Potter, is your weakness."

"No, this is our strength."

Harry tried to keep his voice firm but didn't succeed fully. He looked at Sirius and hoped that something in his godfather's glance would allow him to think that help was on its way. He could find nothing.

"You think I am mistaken Potter? I'll show you."

He pointed his wand at Sirius' chest and muttered the word Harry had dreaded since he had become aware of his situation.

"_Crucio."_

Harry didn't feel anything himself, which made him believe that Voldemort did not intend to kill Sirius now. Nevertheless, the sight of his godfather falling to the floor, screaming in horrible pain was nearly too much to take. But he knew he could not give in now.

'Don't show him how much it hurts you. Don't show him that he's right.'

Harry could not.

"Stop."

His voice was so firm, it surprised himself.

Voldemort took the spell off Sirius and turned towards Harry, a triumphant look on his face.

"See?"

He laughed and it hurt Harry's ears to hear that high and cold sound.

"I have told you, it's not a strength, it's a weakness. But before I continue with what I have planned, I have something I need to test. Wormtail has told me a very interesting thing and I would like to know whether he was right, at least for once."

Again, he pointed his wand at Sirius and muttered the incarnation.

"_Crucio."_

This time, the pain in his head and body made Harry fall to his knees as well.

Severus Snape knew something was wrong. He decided not to wait any longer, he had to inform the headmaster.

He stormed off the dungeon and headed for Dumbledore's office, didn't even wait until the gargoyle had slipped aside completely and ran up the stairs into the office without even knocking.

Dumbledore sat at his desk and looked at him in surprise.

"Severus, what is wrong?"

"Headmaster, I fear things are not going the way we planned them. Black was supposed to be back half an hour ago and in case he was not able to come back in person we had agreed that he would find a way to send a note. I know that we have no clue about what is going on, but I have the feeling that it's gone wrong."

"Tell me Severus, what happened exactly?"

"I can't tell you much. I told Black where to meet his contact person and we made the arrangements I've just told you about. He apparated there. But I know that they have not stayed where they met him, they must have taken a portkey or apparated somewhere else."

Dumbledore nodded slowly.

"Well Severus, we all knew that it was risky. Let's just hope that he simply is not able to send note right now. Maybe we'll hear from him soon."

At that moment, Professor McGonagall stormed into the office just like Snape had done minutes before. She was greeted by two puzzled looks.

"Albus, Severus, Harry Potter is missing."

Dumbledore rose.

"What?"

"He must have been on the grounds flying for his broom was missing from his dormitory and when he didn't show up for dinner, Ms. Granger informed me about it. I have immediately searched the grounds with some teachers and then Hagrid has found his broom not far into the Forbidden Forest. Nobody seems to know what has happened.

And on my way here Ms. Parkinson told me that Draco Malfoy is nowhere to be found as well."

Snape sighed heavily and Dumbledore fell back into his armchair.

"Minerva, Severus has just informed me that Sirius has not contacted him as it was planned. Now that Harry and Draco are missing as well the pieces start to form a picture.

I can't tell for sure but I think it is more than just a guess to say that Sirius has been trapped. And Lucius must have ordered his son to do the same with Harry. I don't think that they are on castle grounds anymore but we need to make sure.

Minerva, please be so kind and search Mr. Potter's trunk for an old piece of parchment. Hand it to Ms. Granger, she will know what to do. It's a map with which we can make sure whether they are still here or not.

Severus, do you have any idea at all where they could be? _Any suggestion?"  
Snape shook his head._

"I'm afraid no. The Dark Lord has used many hiding places before and the ones I know about are known to the Ministry. Besides he would not be stupid enough to use one of them again."  
Dumbledore nodded and came to a decision.

"Severus, I leave you in charge of the school. Please see to it that lessons continue as normal as possible, keep the children occupied.

Minerva and I will go to the Ministry. Maybe Arthur can help us in tracking Sirius' apparition traces."

All three of them breathed out heavily and left the office.

Just as Harry thought he could not stand the pain any longer the curse was removed. Harry found himself lying on the floor, curled up to a ball. He was breathing heavily.

Despite the pain he tried to rise into a sitting position, not so much to hide his weakness from Voldemort but more because he wanted to know if Voldemort had merely removed the curse from Sirius or if his godfather…

Sirius was lying on his side and didn't move, but he was breathing. Harry sighed heavily.

"No need to be relieved Potter, I have just gotten started. You know, I have been dreaming about this moment ever since we last met. The moment when I finally blow out your candle. I have thought of many possible ways to do so, I even had another little surprise for you and Black, but by chance I have been given the best way imaginable.

Slowly, very slowly, I will kill you by putting Cruciatus onto others. Your godfather first and when he is dead, I will search for somebody else. Now, how does that sound?"

Harry didn't answer but looked around in search of a way to defend himself. Desperately, his eyes searched for something but found nothing. They were alone on the yard, only Voldemort, Harry, Sirius and Wormtail. 

With a low sigh, he crawled closer to Sirius when he heard Voldemort giggle, it sounded like the cry of a wounded animal.

"So, you refuse to answer? Well, very soon your voice will be filling this courtyard again. I love to hear you scream in pain, Potter."

Sirius stirred slightly and Harry started to examine his side that had already been wounded when he had been brought here. Suddenly, his fingers touched something hard in Sirius' pocket. It could not be, could it? They could not be stupid enough not to disarm him?

What should he do now? Use the wand to curse Voldemort? No, that would not be a good idea. He surely wasn't strong enough to do any serious harm to the Dark Lord, he had become too powerful during the last year.

And suddenly, a plan started to form in his mind. Who said that the connection between Voldemort and himself could not work backwards as well?

Harry didn't know if he was strong enough but it was worth a try. All he needed was somebody to focus his anger on. Somebody whom he hated enough to kill him.

_Aaaand__?__ Can you guess what's about to come?_

_Do me a huge favour and tell me your suspicions (I won't post anything until I think I have received enough reviews anyway), I'm so longing to know what you think the story will end like. Go ahead and throw all your suspicions at me, please!!!_

_Otherwise, unfortunately the story will end here for at least…let's say a month! Yeah, I'm cruel and I know it but nobody ever said that reading my fanfics was an easy job!_

_Hope to hear from you!_


	18. The Unforgivables

_Okay guys, I'm absolutely flabbergasted by this. I posted the last chapter five hours ago or so and have already received more reviews than for the two chapters before that counted together._

_Time for a little reward I'd say, so you'll get another (though short) chapter tonight. I want to post the rest of the story so badly, I could just put it all online…no wait, there are some cliffhangers that have cost me hours to write, I will not spoil them (especially one HaHaHa *laughs evil Voldemort laugh*)_

_I think it has been rather obvious whom Harry will curse. I mean, there are only him, Voldie, Sirius and Wormtail on the yard, he can't curse Voldie directly and he needs somebody to curse whom he hates which puts Sirius shit out of line…hmm, okay that was obvious. But my big surprise won't be, believe me. And we're getting closer guys, I'm so excited…_

**_Gina87__: Keine Angst, das mit dem einen Monat würde ich selbst nicht überleben! Here you go!_**

**_Zenya__: Into oblivion…hmm, I really like that word, unfortunately it didn't come to my mind while writing this. But yeah, oblivion it will be._**

**_Leonie__: Danke, auf Dich ist Verlass. Naja, ich habe ja schon gesagt, Vermutungen zu verlangen war eher doof, weil es doch sehr offensichtlich war. Aber es beruhigt mich, dass mir Deine reviews auch in Zukunft gesichert sind! Insgesamt sinds ja nur 24 Kapitel incl. Epilog, aber mein beta hat mir gesagt, das Ding schreit nach einem Sequel. __Wir__ werden sehen…_**

**_True Blue Believer__: Sorry, no happy chapter in sight for quite a long time. But more tears, I'm afraid. If out of sadness or else I won't tell! But what do you mean by "more insight into the r/h ship? Ron and Harry? Sorry, Ron won't play a big role further on. If I can recall it right, he won't even appear anymore. Remus and Harry? Well, that can be done quite easy: Remus is dead and Harry is not. Not yet…aehm…no. Don't force me further into this, but please let me know what you meant by "r/h ship", I'm rather curious now._**

_So, enough of this.__ Still, I am very curious about your suggestions and opinions, so please don't stop reviewing. If I receive as much reviews as I did for the last chapter, I promise I will post the next one during the next 12-15 hours. And now it's __2.06 a.m.__ in __Germany__. Don't ask my why I'm still up so late. _

_Enjoy!_

**The Unforgivables**

Harry knew that his plan had hardly any chance to be successful, but at least he had to try. If he would die, he would die fighting.

With the quick movements of a seeker he pulled out Sirius' wand, rose to his feet, pointed the wand at Wormtail and for the first time in his life cast and Unforgivable Curse.

"_Crucio"_

Wormtail immediately fell to his knees and started screaming. Voldemort spun around in surprise, obviously unharmed by the curse. Thousand thoughts shot through Harry's head. It did not work! Why? It should be working, shouldn't it? Maybe he didn't focus enough.

Harry tried to summon all his anger, all his hatred, everything he had felt that night in the Shrieking Shack when he still had thought that Sirius had betrayed his parents. He had wanted to kill his godfather that day and he wanted to kill Wormtail now.

He remembered what Sirius had told him that afternoon. 

The day of his parent's wedding. How happy they had been. Had Wormtail already known then that he would deliver them to death? Had he planned it already by the time he had embraced his mother and told her how beautiful she looked? By the time he had congratulated his father for finding the perfect match?

The day of his birth. Wormtail had been there when his father had held him for the first time. He had seen his pride, his love for his son. Had he already planned to betray his family then, had he known that James would not see his son grow up? That Harry was not supposed to grow up at all?

Tears dwelled into Harry's eyes but he could make out the blurred shape of Voldemort sinking to his knees. He couldn't hear Wormtail's screams anymore, all he heard was his own blood pounding through his body in the frantic rhythm of his heartbeat.

He thought about Remus.

Wormtail must have known that Voldemort intended to kill him. He must have known what this had to mean to Sirius. Harry remembered the days after Remus' death, he remembered how Sirius had felt. How he had cried, how he had accused himself, how he had given up all hope.

Harry realized that he was close to killing Wormtail. He didn't know for how long he had cast the spell but Wormtail was lying on the floor and didn't move anymore. He was still breathing however.

And suddenly he knew what to do. He removed the curse from Wormtail and turned around towards Voldemort. The bond between them obviously worked both ways for the Dark Lord was lying on the floor, breathing heavily. Out of the corner of his eye he saw hooded figures running towards them from the Manor.

He quickly glanced at his godfather who stared at him with a mixture of disbelief, shock and pride in his eyes.

"Sirius, run!"

Harry took a deep breath. He had already cast one Unforgivable, he had to finish this. Pointing his wand at Voldemort he yelled the words that had ended the life of his parents, the words that had been meant to kill himself fifteen years ago.

"_Avada __Kedavra"_

A flash of green light shot out of his wand and threw Harry back against the wall. He must have been unconscious for some moments for the first thing he saw was an empty space where Voldemort was supposed to be. The Dark Lord had vanished. He was not dead, Harry was sure about that, but he was not here anymore, at least not at the moment.

He heard screams from the direction of the Manor, somebody yelled curses, but Harry was too exhausted to engage himself in the fight. Somebody shouted "_Stupefy!"_

And again, everything went black.

When Sirius woke up again he was lying next to the wall in the yard where Voldemort had been only moments before. He remembered dimly that Harry had taken his wand and then he had cast Cruciatus on Wormtail. Sirius shook his head.

At first it had not made sense to him and he wanted to make Harry stop but then he had realized that Harry did exactly the same thing that had been done to him during the Death Eater attacks. He must have guessed that cursing Voldemort directly might have no effect at all, that the Dark Lord was too strong for this. But cursing him this way had worked.

And then Harry had removed the spell, had told Sirius to run and had cast the Killing Curse on Voldemort. He remembered. There had been a high scream, as if caused by pain, and then Voldemort had been gone. 

Sirius got to his feet. The Death Eaters had stunned him but they must have forgotten him in the heat of the moment. However, Harry was gone as well and Sirius was more than only sure where they had brought him to.

He thought for some moments whether he should go and alert Dumbledore but then decided against it. It might cost precious time.

He searched the grounds and found his wand lying on the floor where Harry had stood before. He must have dropped it after casting the curse.

Sirius picked it up and apparated as close to Malfoy Manor as possible.


	19. Rescue...

Disclaimer: As usual, I don't own anything except the plot. All the characters and places that appear to be known belong to J.K. Rowling, or Bloomsbury, or Warner Bros. or somebody else who is not me. Absolutely no money is made with this. Believe me, I would know if it was.

_Okay guys, now I'm absolutely thrown back! So many reviews in such a short time! I mean, I just went off and read a fic about Remus (Called "My name is Remus Lupin, his life told from his POV, very good, I highly recommend) and then I come back and so many people have reviewed!_

_I can't tell you how much I enjoyed this and now comes my very favourite chapter! Yeah!_

_I've been working very long until it fit so that I could have that cliffhanger – NO! NONE OF YOU WILL SCROLL DOWN NOW! BELIEVE ME, IT WOULD SPOIL EVERYTHING!!!!! _

_And if you guys don't review like mad after this chapter, then I don't know what else I can do. But I somehow have the feeling that you will…_

_Well, I'm so excited now, my heartbeat is twice as fast as normal and my hands start to sweat, believe me. You guys are so great, you give me such a great time and so much enjoyment in posting this, you'll never know how much this means to me! Thanks a lot!_

**_Avidia__: I'm quite concerned about your health actually. First this constant loss of liquid in form of tears, then a heart attack and now problems with your oxygen supply. I'm not sure if I can post this chapter, I don't want to be made responsible if you fall off your chair after reading it… *grin* But thanks for your reviews, they always brighten up my days!_**

_And no, unfortunately I'm not J.K. in disguise, writing fanfics while she should be writing real books. If I could lay my hands on her, I'd make her finish book five, believe me. But thanks for that comparison, it means a lot. I loved writing Harry in this chapter. I don't know, I wrote the story Sirius told Harry before he had to leave and when it came to the fighting scene I somehow thought I had to use it. It wasn't really intended at all, it simply fit. Glad you liked it!_

**_JaimeyKay__: Thankx for r/r! Not very long for next chapter as you see, this is the chapter I was driving at from the very first moment that I started writing the story. But I'll have explanations for that later on. What's Sirius doing at Malfoy Manor? Well, if he's lucky, he'll safe the day. If not…well, maybe there won't be a tomorrow for somebody. Or maybe something completely different will happen? Who knows…? …Okay, I do, but I won't tell. Not yet, at least._**

**_WeasleyTwinsLover1112__: Thank you. I enjoyed the writing even more, I think. Except from the parts when I didn't know what to write of course. But then I yelled at my computer for some time and just continued. So, I hardly had any boring moments either._**

**_Maxwell Coffee House__: Well, after you've read this chapter you'll surely repeat your review. Why did I have to stop at precisely those points? Because I wanted to. I mean, I know how the story will end, so I don't have to worry about anything. Except from getting flamed for leaving you in confusion I think… __*grin*_**

_gina87 and Leonie: Hi ihr zwei. Ich hoffe, meine nächtliche update Session bringt Euch in die glückliche Lage, drei neue Kapitel zu lesen sobald ihr heute den PC anmacht. Immerhin seid ihr zwei in meiner Zeitzone und habt möglicherweise meine letzten updates vor ein paar Stunden gar nicht mitbekommen. Es ist jetzt halb acht morgens und nein, ich habe nicht geschlafen. __Meine__ reviewer haben __mich__ wachgehalten._

_So guys, as promised within twelve hours after chapter 18, here's chapter 19 and here's my big surprise…please leave your review before you leave, thanks a lot._

_Enjoy!_

**Rescue…**

Sirius cautiously approached the huge Manor. He knew that Harry was in there, it was the only possible explanation he had. He still didn't know how Voldemort had gotten hold of his godson but he'd bet his right hand that Lucius Malfoy had been involved in it.

He had to search for a way to enter and he knew that he could not do it in his human form.

Moments later, a bear sized dog ran across the grounds of Malfoy Manor, always keeping in the shadows, and searched for an entrance. It found a small window in one of the wings that seemed to be unused and tried to push it open. It didn't move.

With a low growl, the dog transformed back into human shape and soon a boot had forced the window open. Sirius waited for a moment and checked whether the breaking glass had alerted anybody. He slowly counted to fifty. Nothing happened. So he changed back into his canine form and crawled through the small opening.

He found himself in what appeared to be a storage room. The door was unlocked which made Sirius smirk. 

'How very foolish Malfoy, how very foolish.'

He left the room and looked around. He had never been to Malfoy Manor before and therefore he didn't know where Harry was kept. He also could not smell his trace anywhere near. But he found another.

There were only few traces around. Some belonged to house elves, one belonged to a woman who wore too much of a horrible perfume, 'Narcissa', Sirius thought, and another belonged to Lucius. He would recognize that smell anywhere, it was dark and piercing. The traces were older but if he ran across the halls long enough he would soon find out where the freshest trace led to.

It took him more than half an hour but eventually Sirius stood in front of a wooden door, again in his human form. There was no mistaking, the trace had led him here. It was the freshest that had been in the house.

Sirius had been slightly surprised that he had not smelled the presence of other Death Eaters in the Manor. Could he have been wrong? Had they not brought Harry here?  
There was only one way to find out.

Sirius grabbed firm hold on his wand and flung the doors open. There were two people standing in the room and when he stormed in they spun around immediately. It was Lucius Malfoy and his son Draco was standing next to him.

Sirius pointed his wand towards the apparently unarmed boy.

"I would not dare to move as much as a finger Lucius or your boy will be dead before he hits the ground! Throw your wand over!"

Lucius stared at him with eyes wide open, then shifted his eyes towards Draco who started shifting uncomfortably.

"You are unarmed Draco?!"

"Father…"

"Unarmed?" Lucius repeated, for a moment forgetting Sirius' presence at all. "Tell me what I have done wrong to be punished with a brainless idiot such as you are? Didn't I teach you enough lessons to learn that you should go Nowhere. Without. A. Wand!!!"

Draco flinched and Lucius turned his attention back at the intruder.  
"How…"

"I'm not here to answer questions Lucius!" Sirius interrupted. "Throw your wand over or your son will regret it. And I'm not joking, do I have to prove that?"

Hesitantly, Lucius pulled out his wand and with a look of disgust towards his son he threw it towards Sirius who caught it.

"Fine." Sirius' heartbeat slowed down a little. 

"Now tell me, where do you keep Harry?"

Lucius laughed harshly.

"And what makes you suppose that I hide precious little Harry Potter here? If you can't take care of him and don't know where to find him it's not my problem."

Sirius stepped closer towards Lucius, his face and voice an unmistakable threat.

"I know that you brought him here. I know that you've been present at the other Manor only an hour ago. What is it, are you scared that your Master won't forgive you if you're not able to keep Harry in custody? That he won't forgive you another betrayal? Tell me where Harry is!"

"Black, Black, Black. I think finally you've gone insane. I really don't know what you are talking about."

"I'm talking about Harry fighting your master Voldemort only a short time ago, forcing him to withdraw from the world for a while. I'm talking about your bunch of Death Eaters stunning me and kidnapping Harry."

Sirius now had grabbed the neck of Lucius' robe and pressed him hard against the wooden desk.

"I'm not making empty threats. Tell me, I don't have time to play a quiz with you!"

Lucius continued smirking.

"Really Black. I had thought that the Potters' death had thrown you off, then I thought Azkaban had finished you, but now I am sure that this werewolf's death has made you completely nuts. So many people and…creatures who are dead because of you, how can you live with that?"

"Lucius, I will ask you only once more. Where is Harry?"

Malfoy didn't respond. "Lucius, I'm serious. I'm going to kill you if you don't tell." Sirius pointed his wand at Malfoy's chest.

A smirk crawled over Malfoy's face. "If you kill me, you will never find out. Another death that you caused. Could you live with that?"

Sirius slapped Lucius' face with all his might. "Tell me where you have hidden Harry or I'll kill you. NOW!"

"Stop!" Draco yelled from behind Sirius. "Stop that! Potter is in the dungeons, I'll lead you there. Just leave him here, we don't have much time. The other Death Eaters will be here soon."

Lucius stared at his son in disbelief. "Draco, you're betraying me? Me and our master?"

"You and _your master, yes. I'm fed up with the games you play. You cannot gamble with people's lives, you're not God! Black, we have to go that way." Draco pointed towards the staircase and Sirius nodded._

He stunned Lucius Malfoy, made sure there was no way for him to free himself and ran behind Draco.

"Are there any guards?"

Draco shook his head while running. "There are protective spells around which you cannot dodge if you don't know where they are. But I do. Part of the Malfoy Education." The sarcasm in his last words could not be hidden. For a short moment Sirius doubted if this boy would really lead him to Harry or if this was another trap but he pushed that thought aside. He had to trust him, there was no other chance.

They had reached the bottom of the staircase and Draco opened a secret passage behind the stone wall with a tip of his wand. More stairs were behind it and they hurried downwards.

Three times Draco stopped and removed obstacles and spells Sirius had not realized were there.

They reached a door which Draco unlocked with his wand.

"The spells will still be lifted when you leave. In case I won't be able to come along. Follow me."

They reached a corridor from which eight cells could be reached. Only two doors were closed.

Draco stepped towards the first one and unlocked it with his wand and with an old fashioned key which he conjured with a spell.

"Malfoy?" Harry's voice came from inside. "Sod off, I don't want you for company!"

"Potter, move your ass out of that cell. NOW! We don't have much time."

Harry stepped out of the cell and looked at Malfoy in a puzzled way. Then he saw his godfather.

"Sirius!" 

He ran over towards his godfather and flung himself into Sirius' arms.

"I was so worried Sirius, I thought that they might have killed you."

"Are you injured?"

"No, I'm okay."

"Good. Harry, we have to get out of here immediately before the rat pack arrives. We'll have time for explanations later on when we're in safety.

Draco, who's in that second cell?"

Draco shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, honestly. I've not been allowed down here for a long time, not until today."

"Well, whoever is in there, we can't leave him or her."

He stepped in front of the door and tried to unlock it with different spells. Draco pushed him aside.

"Let me try. My father always is quite idealess when it comes to locking people up."

He waved his wand a couple of times and after the fifth attempt the lock indicated with a clicking sound that it was now open.

Sirius stormed inside…and froze immediately.

"Remus???" 


	20. Author's Note

**Author's Note (will be removed some time after the entire story is finished)**

What would I give to have seen you faces! Anything, believe me! You must have looked just great when you read my cliff-hanger!

But, I'm astonished, you all seem to be so perfectly sure that Remus is alive, tell me why?

Maybe good old Sirius is having some sort of hallucination?

Maybe it is Remus but he is dead?

Maybe it is Remus but he will die anyway?

But that's not why I publish the author's note.

The following chapter Nr. 20 (The Prisoner) might confuse you a little. So please read this:

When I first wrote the story, I had it in a different order.

After Remus and Sirius had had their fight in chapter seven, I stayed with Remus and explained what happened to him that night.

But then I published the first chapters of the story, received so many reviews and thought that it would be no fun at all if I let you know the entire truth right from the start (evil little FairyTale inside my head told me not to do so).

So when it came to chapter 7, I thought I just let some parts out and increase the tension a little. I've kept you all in the dark, knowing that you were all sad and crying and longed for the day until I would be able to publish chapter 19 and 20.

Chapter 20 basically covers the time between the fight and Sirius' discovery. I hope I have made it obvious that its content takes place on different days, I've tried to do so by making paragraphs and mentioning what is going on in the outside world.

If you still are confused when something in this chapter takes place, feel free to mail and ask.

The end is near, there will be only four chapters more and one of them is the epilogue. So, stay tuned, it will be over before the week is…


	21. The Prisoner

Disclaimer: As usual, I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K. Rowling. I try hard not to spoil the characters while I use them. No money is being made by this.

**_Lady of Arundel__: Never said I was not evil. Never did. HeHeHe. But, as I said in my author's note, I would not be so sure that good old Remmie is safe now. In fact, he'll still have to suffer a lot before I may let go off him._**

**_Sparks__: I know your feeling about the little button thingy that doesn't appear when you want it to.__ I know it only too well.  Well, here it is. But, basically that's the idea behind a cliff-hanger – write the end of a chapter just like that!_**

**_Leonie und Gina87__: (zwei fast identische reviews…)  Ja, Draco ist zur Vernunft gekommen, obwohl ich mir gewünscht hätte, ihm mehr Grund dafür gegeben zu haben. Aber ich hatte keine Idee, wie. Naja. Aber: Sirius und Harry sind in Sicherheit? Remus lebt? Ist heute Tag des Optimismus oder so was? *grins* Ich wär mir nicht so sicher…_**

**_Nicky__: No, you maybe guessed it. _****I knew it! But seriously, was I that obvious? That was my biggest fear, that this turn of the story might be too obvious. Please tell me!**

**_GiggleGurl15__: Another optimist, hm? Hey, I let that guy die once, why are you all so sure that I won't do it again?_**

**_literaty_number_****_ 7__: You're perfectly welcome. But I would not kneel before me and worship me until I finished the story. Who knows what happens…_**

_And how shall I understand that "Nobody in their right mind would kill Remus-freaking-Lupin" part? Okay, I agree: If Mrs. Rowling will ever do so much as hurt him, let alone kill him (Wormtail's silver hand still scares the living daylight out of me, believe me), I'll personally claim her head! But this here is…well, fan fiction. It's…different. Maybe you shouldn't go on reading…and maybe you should. *g*_

**_Eva__: No need to call me god. Laura or FairyTale will do. *g* (is that blasphemy?) And again, I would not be sure until the word "END" appears below my last chapter._**

**_Lady Lanya Artemisan__: Hey, don't worry about not reviewing, I know your problem very well because I myself read most of the stories offline. And you've only read up to chapter 14 so far, wait until you read the other five that are already online! Remus is my fav. male character too, along with Sirius (difficult to separate those two, isn't it?), and it was awfully hard to let him die in the first place. And poor Harry and Sirius had to suffer…I at first had the idea of Sirius trying to commit suicide, but that definitely would have been too much. So, if you come to read this, I hope that the last five chapters have sort of made up with the pain I let you go through. I'll still keep you informed on my updates and hopefully I'll receive some other reviews from you! Thanks a lot for them! And: a review can never be too long!_**

**_Maxwell Coffee House__: See? I knew it! But don't worry, there won't be another cliff-hanger like this. Or will there be? *g*_**

**_solarphoenix__: Glad you liked my cliff-hanger. I did. *g* Well yes, the title of the story is The _****Last Marauder, but does that mean that it's about Sirius thinking he's the last one or about Sirius really being the last one? You just have to wait, I'm afraid.**

**_Krissy__: That's exactly the reaction I wanted to have. Sorry, but sometimes I can be really sadistic. Please, keep on reading it anyhow!_**

**_Zenya__: SLOW! Breathe in…breathe out…breathe in…breathe out…That's good! If it won't get better, but a paper bag over your mouth, it helps against hyperventilation. I actually never hated Draco, but he always has to be mean before he finally can do something good. It has to be. You're actually the first one who figures it out: Losing Moony has been hard for Sirius. What if it happens a second time, this time for real and for good? Poor Padfoot! _**

**_Avidia__: Better check your liquid supply because I'm afraid you'll cry some more until the story is finished. Be aware of dehydration! I hold the German Emergency Transport in line ever since I read about your first heart attack, just tell me and I'll send them over (might take a little longer though, they're the German Emergency Transport after all…)*g*_**

_And now…a little look into the past which will maybe explain some things. And maybe increase your worries. It may not seem so, but I really like Remus a lot, no matter what I let him go through during this story. _

_As always, keep on reviewing, you guys really make my day! You're awesome!_

_Enjoy!_

**The Prisoner**

[_nearly__ two months ago]_

Shortly after Sirius had stormed off from his cottage after they had had this horrible fight, Remus started preparing for his werewolf transformation that night. 

How painful the transformations were depended on his emotional state and he could already guess that tonight would become a torture. He was still angry, confused, hurt and sorry at the same time, not a pleasant combination for what was about to come.

Now it was time to check the wards around the garden shelter.

Remus stepped into the garden and took a deep breath of the early evening air. He didn't feel like locking himself up, tonight he felt like running free.

Normally he was too scared that he could hurt somebody and only ran free when Sirius was with him but tonight he put all the doubts aside. His cottage was far away from any town and even if he ran towards the nearest inhabited house during the night he would never reach it before the dawn would come. And it wasn't hunting season so his chances of biting a nightly hunter were extremely low. 

No, he would run free tonight.

An hour later, the werewolf Remus Lupin was running off into the forest at the precise moment when the door of his cottage burst open. He did neither see nor hear the nine hooded figures entering his house, searching it for him.

Remus returned hours afterwards. The night was not over yet, the moon would still be there for at least an hour or even slightly more, but he had run enough tonight. He wanted to lie down in the garden shelter and wait for the transformation.

As he ran out of the forest, he saw that his house was on fire. His eyes widened at that sight, for the Dark Mark was shining in the sky over his house.

The animal instincts that still had control over Remus' actions told him that the danger might still be present, maybe only waiting for him to return behind the garden door.

He turned around and ran off towards the forest again.

Remus ran away from his cottage as fast as he could. He knew that he needed to get away fast, he had only a couple of precious minutes left before he would change back into human again.

By the time that happened he was so exhausted that the transformation turned out to be awfully painful.

He needed to find people to help him and he needed to find some clothes. The most vicious thing about those werewolf transformations was that, unlike in case of the animagi transformation, he couldn't keep his clothes on.

When he had regained human form again he found himself lying naked on the ground, somewhere in the middle of the forest.

He heard a twig break under the weight of someone behind him, but before he could turn around he received a blow on the head that knocked him out. Far in the distance he could hear voices.

"Was hard enough to keep his track. What are we supposed to do now?"

"At first we'll cover him in this cloak. Then we shall bring him to the Mansion."  
"He will be very pleased with us."

"Indeed."

Something warm fell onto his body and then everything went black.

When he opened his eyes again it took Remus some time to recall what had happened. He didn't know where he was.

Remus sat up carefully for his head was hurting like mad. He examined the back of his head with his hands and was not the least surprised to feel a huge bump that hurt when he touched it. He looked around.

He was sitting on a prank bed which was located in some sort of dungeon. 

There was no further furniture, only the plank bed and the stone walls, a small sink in one corner. A door was in the wall on the opposite side of his bed, but it was closed.

Remus knew that he didn't have his wand with him, it was still lying in the living room of his cottage – no, it surely wasn't lying there anymore. The house had been on fire when he had last seen it. He'd be surprised if there was anything left of it, let alone his wand.

While he had been unconscious, someone had put a pair of trousers and a shirt on him, a fact for which he was nearly thankful. This dungeon felt like an icehouse.

In front of the prank bed stood a pair of boots, which Remus also pulled on.

He was just about to start examining the dungeon, when the door flung open and a blond, pale faced man stood in front of him. 

Though Remus had never seen him in person he recognized him. He had taught his son at school. The resemblance between the two of them was unmistakable.

"Malfoy."

The man smirked and stepped a little closer.

"I see that the transformation doesn't rob your senses, at least the parts of it that were left to you anyway."

"What do you want? Why did you bring me here?"

Lucius Malfoy laughed coldly.

"I am not here to inform you about what I intend to do with you. You are here for a reason, believe me.

I just wanted to make sure that you are perfectly comfortable…and to have some entertainment."

He pulled out his wand, pointed it at Remus' chest and yelled. 

"_Crucio!"_

It felt as if his intestines were going to burst. Remus sank down to his knees and screamed in pain.

The werewolf transformations always took a lot of strength from him, and last night had been the worst for ages. He would not be able to stand the Cruciatus Curse for very long.

Obviously Malfoy knew that as well, for he removed the curse from Remus quite soon.

"I'm sorry I cannot entertain myself any further, but driving you insane with that curse would not be supportive for my master's plan. I'll think of something else before I come down here again."

He turned around towards the dungeon door, but spun around as if there was something important he had forgotten to do.

"Oh, I nearly failed to remember one thing. You surely need something to distract you while you are sitting here in the dungeon."

He took a copy of the Daily Prophet from the inside of his robes and threw it on the floor next to Remus.

"You will be here a little longer, maybe I can find a nice article on your funeral to bring you in a couple of days."

He left the room and slammed the door shut behind him.

It took Remus a couple of minutes before he was able to rise to his knees again, but he immediately grabbed the paper.

What had Malfoy meant with 'your funeral'?

When his eyes fell on the front page, he knew. He saw a picture of his house, only that very little of his house was still there, it was all burned down. So was the garden shelter.

He read the article and felt like throwing up. The Ministry thought he was dead! Malfoy must have left the body of someone in the garden shelter!

Surely they had expected him to hide there and wanted to take him, but when they found out that he had run free that night, they must have followed his track.

'Oh shit! Sirius! That…that's too much for him!' Remus clearly remembered the last words he had said to his friend. '**…I don't want to see you again. NEVER.'**

He had regretted those words immediately after Sirius had left and now his friend thought he was dead…

Remus crawled into the corner and was violently ill into the sink.

The following days had dragged on. He had had very little distraction in his dungeon, but he was rather thankful for it.

Remus sat on the prank bed in the dungeon and stared at the latest edition of the Daily Prophet he held in his hands. 

Malfoy had made sure he received it, but the price had been high. So far, Malfoy had entered the dungeon every day, and every day he had used various curses to torture Remus. Or he had simply beaten him up muggle style.

Every muscle in his body hurt and he was sure that he had broken at least two of his ribs when Malfoy had kicked him in the side, but that was nothing compared to the pain he felt when he looked at the pictures in the Daily Prophet.

His own funeral seemed to be the main issue in today's copy. A large report covered the front, and a list of the guests and reports concerning his life and that of his friends covered the following pages.

There were two pictures on the front page.

One showed Dumbledore, the Weasleys, Hermione, Harry and Sirius sitting in the church. Though it was a magical picture, the figures hardly moved. Molly Weasley dried her eyes from time to time with a handkerchief and Dumbledore threw angry glances at the photographer, but Harry and Sirius simply stared into the direction of his casket. 

They were sitting close to each other but appeared to be worlds apart. Sirius' eyes were empty, Remus had only seen him like that once before – on the pictures that showed Sirius being arrested and brought to Azkaban.

The other picture had been taken on the cemetery itself. It was hard for Remus to look at a tombstone that carried his own name. 

The picture must have been taken long after the service had been over for there were only Harry and Sirius standing in front of the grave. They had their backs to the camera and didn't move, but Remus could see that they held tightly onto each other's hand.

He threw the paper onto the floor and started sobbing into his small pillow. 

Sirius had not earned to go through this! He was alive, but his friend was mourning for him, that wasn't fair! If he would ever get the chance to lay his hands on Malfoy, he surely would not show any mercy.

He let out a groan as a sharp sting of pain coming from his ribs nearly made him faint.

He would have lost track of time already if he hadn't had his supply with papers that Malfoy gave him nearly every day. More often than food anyway. But Remus wasn't hungry. All he wanted was getting out of this fucking dungeon and tell his friend that he was alive, but he saw no chance.

He was too weak to escape, and nobody would be searching for him. Why search for somebody whom you had just buried?

Remus closed his eyes and fell into a sleep that resembled an unconsciousness more than anything else.

He remained in that state for the following weeks.

Everyday, Lucius Malfoy came into the dungeon and delivered a copy of the Daily Prophet. Everyday, he tortured and cursed him.

Lucius seemed to enjoy Cruciatus more than anything else but he didn't use it often enough to make Remus go insane. He had other means to torment him. Remus' body was covered in marks from the many curses and hexes he had to endure, there were bruises all over his chest, belly and sides and dried blood covered the scratches he had received from falling to the floor or being thrown at the wall.

Remus had not seen his own face for some time but he was sure that it didn't look any better. One of his eyes had been bruised badly last week and the swelling had not gone back completely.

The only time when Lucius had left him alone had been during full moon. He had stayed without water or food for three days and the transformation had nearly killed him. His body did not have any resources to gain strength from and he had hurt himself badly while being a werewolf.

Obviously it was Malfoy's task to keep him alive for he had provided him with more food and water after full moon. Not that Remus cared.

Whatever they wanted to use him for, he was sure it was better to be dead than to be used for Voldemort's purpose.

With a sigh he looked at the date on the front page of the paper. September 12th. He was here for nearly seven weeks now.

Remus let the paper fall onto the floor and closed his eyes.

He had just drifted off into sleep when he heard the door being unlocked and the familiar face of Lucius Malfoy appeared. He seemed to be more angry than ever.

Without any word, he pulled Remus to the floor and put him under Cruciatus. Just as Remus thought he would faint, the curse was removed from him.

"Can you guess what I just got to know?"

He pulled Remus up by his hair and slammed his fist into his face. Blood began oozing out of his nose.

"Do you know what they just told me? They told me that they might not need you anymore!"

A lump of fear formed in Remus' stomach. Had Malfoy come to kill him eventually?

"They told me that they might have discovered a better way to get hold of Potter, a better way to torture him and Black, a better way than using you!"

The fist connected with his throat and took away his breath.

"I have had to keep you here for nearly two months. Two months I have waited patiently until my master would tell me what to do with you. Two months I have kept you alive and resisted every urge to kill you. Two months I've lived with a werewolf in my house! And now they tell me that probably this has all been in vain! That you are nothing but a last resort! That I won't get awarded for capturing you, for capturing Potter! No, it will be Wormtail who will be rewarded, he of all people, can you imagine that?"

For the next twenty minutes, he hit and kicked Remus, totally out of his mind. Several times, Remus' head collided hard with the stone wall of the dungeons and blood from a wound on his temple began mixing with the blood of his nose on his face. He could not move his left arm anymore after Malfoy had tried to pull him to his feet, he had lost all feeling in it. 

Remus lost consciousness towards the end of the beating, after a very hard kick against his broken ribs (he suspected that by now nearly all of them were broken) had sent a wave of pain through his body. He felt that something inside of him had been torn apart, felt that breathing became more and more difficult with every attempt he made. Sharp waves of pain shot through his body whenever he tried to breathe and an ugly rattling sound came from his throat every time he did try. He felt as if he consisted of nothing else than of pain. 

The last thing he thought of before unconsciousness claimed him again was Sirius. 'I'm so sorry mate', he thought. But he had the strange feeling that maybe Sirius had not mourned for him in vain, he knew that if what Lucius had told him was right, he would not have very long to live. 'So sorry mate. It should all have been different.' And then came only blackness.  

Lucius soon lost his fun in beating Remus up after he didn't respond to his beatings anymore and threw him onto the prank bed before leaving the dungeon, still fuming with anger.

If that werewolf really was not needed, he would have to suffer badly.

_P.S.: Before you start flaming me, know that September 12th doesn't fit with the time Harry spent at Hogwarts, it wasn't nearly two weeks, was it? But when I wrote the story first it was three months after Remus died that Harry is captured. Well, I completed my story and realized that I had not filled three months (which would have meant two months of Harry being at school), but I also didn't want the kidnapping to take place too short after Remus died. So the first date that crossed my mind was September 12th and I wrote it down without further thinking._

_Confused?_

_My advice:  
  
_

**_Just ignore the timeline, I already told you that it sucks!_**

_If somebody is really willing to have this mystery solved, please send me an e-mail. I'll try to explain._


	22. ...Rescue

**…Rescue**

"Remus?" 

Sirius asked once more in disbelief. His voice broke and his legs nearly gave away.

The man lying on the prank bed didn't react but it definitely was Remus Lupin. He was in a really bad shape.

He had lost a lot of weight, his robes were filthy and torn, he had bruises everywhere and there was dried blood on his face. No sign indicated that he was still alive.

Carefully, Sirius stepped closer and moved a trembling hand towards Lupin's throat to check the pulse. It was weak but it was there. A wave of relief spread through Sirius. Now he realized that Remus was also breathing flatly. His friend's breaths came out with a rattling sound that indicated that something inside his body was not working the way it was supposed to.

"Remus!" Sirius carefully shook his friend but he didn't react.

"Black, we have to get out of here, we don't have time! Just take him and let's go!"

Sirius overcame his paralysis when he heard Draco's voice and he carefully lifted Remus up. He didn't weigh very much anymore.

They left the dungeons as fast as they could, but Sirius took care not to shake Lupin too much.

"Where can we disapparate?"

Draco turned around. "Not inside the Manor. We'll take the quickest way out, at two hundred metres distance from the house it is possible to apparate."

They ran out of the dungeons, crossed the hall and soon reached a back door that was hidden under the tapestry. Outside they ran as fast as they could until they reached a group of trees.

"Here you can disapparate."

Draco turned around again.

"Draco, wait! You come with us!"

Draco shook his head.

"I can't. He's going to kill me if I do."

"I think he's going to kill you for what you've just done if you don't come with us. Listen, we don't have time to discuss this, all right? Just take my hand."

Harry and Draco each took one of the hands that were still holding Lupin. Apparating with three people at once was difficult, but not impossible. He focussed hard…and they found themselves at the gates of Hogwarts.

"Draco, run ahead and get Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey! I come as fast as I can!"

Draco vanished and Sirius dragged himself and Remus along towards the castle, Harry supporting him at his side. By the time they reached the entrance hall, Snape came running towards them.

"Neither Dumbledore nor McGonagall are here Black. But what has happened, Mr. Malfoy was rather…oh Merlin, is that Lupin? Let's bring him into the hospital wing as fast as possible!"

He conjured a stretcher for Lupin and they stormed off, Sirius being thankful that for once Snape had decided not to ask any questions.

Madam Pomfrey let out a surprised scream when she realized who was brought to her by Snape and Sirius, but she overcame her shock immediately and started giving out orders.

"Professor, Sirius, please stay here, I might need your help. Put him onto that bed and take off the shirt. Does any of you know exactly what has happened to him?"

Both shook their heads and Sirius started pulling off Remus' shirt. Much to his surprise, Snape came to help him.

"It's better if we don't move him that much."

When they had removed the shirt they saw the full extend of what had been done to him. His chest and stomach were covered in hex marks and bruises and it could be guessed that his back didn't look much better.

Madam Pomfrey started examining him.

"As far as I can see, he has four broken ribs on the right side and three more on the left which are not new. But he must have been beaten today, I fear that he is bleeding internally."

As if to confirm Madam Pomfrey's suggestions, Lupin coughed and bright red blood spilled out of his mouth onto the sheets. He coughed once more. Sirius had the feeling that something was horribly wrong and then he realized in a shock that he could no longer hear his friend's rattling breaths.

"Remus?"

He hurried to Remus' side but it was true, Remus had stopped breathing.

Madam Pomfrey looked very concerned.

"We have to hurry, it's worse than I thought. The broken ribs puncture the lungs. He is bleeding into his body, we have to remove the pressure of the blood from his lungs, otherwise he won't be able to breathe anymore. Professor, do you have a potion with which we could flatten his breathing after we have done so?" She didn't even look up when she asked him but continued her rescue attempt with her wand.

"Yes." Snape stormed off the hospital and ran towards the dungeons.

Madam Pomfrey continued muttering spells and waving her wand over Remus' chest and Sirius believed he could read from her expression that she feared she couldn't do it fast enough. He felt useless, he wished there was something he could do.

Eventually, she uttered a long spell and pointed the wand at Lupin's throat.

Immediately, he coughed again only that this time he wasn't bleeding out of his mouth. Relief spread through Sirius.

"I have mended the ribs and the intestines that were hurt, but I'm still worried about his lungs. If he breathes too heavily it might increase the injury and it won't heal. Ah Professor, just in time."

Snape ran towards them, a phial with purple liquid in his hands. He shook it, took of the cork and lifted Remus' head before he spilled it down his throat. Shortly afterwards, Remus' breath came more flat but regular and Madam Pomfrey seemed to relax a little.

"Well, one thing less to worry about. But there are more things to be done. Before I can take care of the smaller bruises and the hex marks, I need your help. His shoulder is dislocated, we have to relocate it. It will be easier if you two do it, but first I'll give him something against the pain."

She made Remus drink another potion.

"Sirius, lift him up into a sitting position and then hold his shoulder steady please. Don't worry, you won't hurt him with it. He's asleep now. Professor, do you know how to relocate a shoulder?"

Snape nodded and when Sirius had put Remus up and gestured that he was ready, he twisted the arm a little, searched for the right angle and then pushed the limb back into the joint. It slid back with a sound that made Sirius shudder. Luckily, Remus didn't feel the pain this had to be causing. He let his friend down onto the pillows again and gave Madam Pomfrey a questioning look.

"I'll take care of him now, thank you for your help. Why don't you go and take a rest?"

"Madam Pomfrey, what about Remus? Will he be fine?"

"I'll do anything I can, I promise. The immediate threat to his life is banned, but I have to find out what has been done to him. I don't know how he will react to the blood loss and I don't know what will be when he wakes up. If he wakes up. Has he been awake when you found him?"

Sirius shook his head and Madam Pomfrey sighed.

"We'll have to wait Sirius. I cannot judge yet what has been done to his mind, his body is giving me worries enough. Leave now, I have to look after him."

Sirius nodded and turned around. Harry and Draco were standing on the opposite wall and had witnessed the entire treatment. Both were white like tablecloths. Much to his surprise, Snape went towards them.

"Is any of you two hurt? Mr. Malfoy? Mr. Potter?" As both shook their heads he nodded.

"Good. I will inform Dumbledore about this and the three of you look as if you need to sit down and eat and drink something. Then I would like to hear what has happened."

Sirius lay his hand on Harry's shoulder and Snape pushed Draco out of the hospital wing into his office. Fortunately they didn't meet anybody on their way. They sat down in armchairs in front of the fireplace and Snape conjured tea and sandwiches from the kitchens. He quickly wrote a note and sent it off with his owl before he joined them and gave them a questioning look.

Sirius and Harry quickly told him everything that had happened that day in the yard and at Malfoy Manor and Snape didn't interrupt.

When Sirius had finished, he rubbed his palms against his face as if he was thinking very hard, then got up and threw powder into the fireplace.

"Fudge, are you there? I need to talk to you immediately!"

Fudge's head appeared in the fireplace.

"Professor Snape?" Fudge appeared to be angry. "I don't have time right now, whatever you want will have to wait!"

"No it won't. You will listen to me now! You will take all the Aurors that are available and go to Malfoy Manor. There you will arrest Lucius Malfoy and everybody else whom you find there."

"You have gone nuts. I can't simply arrest Lucius Malfoy without a reason."

Snape sighed.

"Lucius Malfoy has kidnapped Harry Potter. In addition to that, he has kidnapped Remus Lupin two months ago, faked his death and since then has tortured him. If that is not reason enough I don't know what is."

Fudge shook his head.

"Potter is sitting beside you and Lupin is dead. Are you taking drugs?"

"Potter is sitting beside me because Sirius Black took him out of Malfoy Manor with the help of Draco Malfoy. Remus Lupin is doing bad, but he's alive and here at Hogwarts as well. I cannot fill you in to the details now, just for once overcome your incompetence and move your ass! I'm fed up with you sitting around and ignoring the obvious! Go and arrest Malfoy and if he's not there start searching for him. There are people who can testify against him. And go and search for signs of the other Death Eaters, they might try to go into hiding. It seems that Voldemort is at least temporarily banned."

"I would have never thought that you would believe Black, you of all people. He's not a reliable witness."

"I believe my eyes and I have seen Remus Lupin and what has been done to him. And though I might not be the closest friend of Sirius Black I know that he's not lying. It's none of your business whom I believe and out of what reasons I do so.

I was left in charge for this school and recently, Harry Potter, one of my students was kidnapped; Remus Lupin, a former Professor was tortured and they, Draco Malfoy and Sirius Black, Harry Potter's guardian, came here to search for help. It is my responsibility to give them that help. Now if you would please start to do something, I don't have all day to talk to you until finally the facts trickle through to you!"

"All right. But if you're wrong, you'll face the consequences!"

Fudge's face vanished and Snape sank back into his armchair.

"Incompetent fool!" He turned to Draco.

"Mr. Malfoy, I know that this is hard for you but…"

Draco shook his head.

"No, don't say how sorry you are and that I have to understand what must be done. I'm old enough to understand what is going on, I understand the extend of what I myself have done and I would not have shown Black where Potter was kept if I hadn't. I just ask you to believe me that I didn't know anything about Lupin. I didn't know that my father kept him as a prisoner."

Snape nodded. "Yes. Do you have any idea where your father could have escaped to? I don't believe that he has stayed at your Manor, he should have guessed that we would inform the Ministry."

Draco shook his head.

"Surely he would not go to one of our other houses. But I could give you some names, maybe he had hidden at another Death Eater's place."

Again, Snape nodded. Sirius rose.

"I'll look after Remus now. I don't think I'm needed here anymore, am I?"

"No, not now. I'll send Dumbledore to the infirmary as soon as he arrives here."

Sirius left and Harry went after him. 


	23. Dusk

_You know what? I can't wait any longer. I'll give you the rest right now! It's only two more chapters and they are rather short (because one has kind of a cliff-hanger, but I could not do that to you anymore, I'm not a monster), so here you are. And of course the epilogue._

_You guys were so great, after I've fully recovered from this experience (i.e.: make up for my lack of sleep), I'll go and read some of your stories. So – you won't get rid of me that easy, I love writing reviews!_

_I'll continue with my other story after this (No Longer Safe, already partly posted here), it's much longer and I haven't written it entirely yet. And maybe there will be kind of a sequel from The Last Marauder, my beta said it would be a good idea._

_So THANKS again for all of you who have read this and for all your kind reviews. Don't stop now only because I give you the ending, I'll check my reviews ever so often for quite a long time from now on I think!_

**_Nicky__: Thanks for assuring me that I wasn't that obvious! It was my biggest fear. As for what happens to Remus…well, read on then you'll know._**

**_Gina__: Nur weil ich ihn einmal nicht sterben lassen konnte heißt das ja nicht, dass ich es diesmal nicht tue…oder? Naja, Geheimniskrämerei ist ja jetzt wohl nicht mehr angebracht, lies es einfach. Danke für die vielen Reviews, jeder einzelne hat mich gefreut! Lass mich wissen, wie Dir das Ende gefallen hat!_**

**_Avidia__: German medical supply any time you need it. But I don't think that German ambulances are faster than American ones. I once had to call one for my brother and it took ages. And imagine they have to go to __America__ first! But now your reward: THE ENDING!_**

_So, that's for all my reviewers since my last update and I'm sorry that I can't thank each and every of my single reviewers here but you were all awesome! Really, I thank you a lot, don't stop reviewing now! Let me know how you liked my ending and whether you want to have a sequel. Voldemort is not dead yet, there are endless possibilities. (and my muse sits by my side and nods.) Please, do me that last favour and review after you've read the epilogue._

_Publishing my first finished fanfic was really an experience, and you all made it just wonderful! Thousand thank yous and one million-candle-smile for each and every one of you._

_And now – ENJOY!!!_

**Dusk**

When they entered the hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey came towards them.

"How is he doing?"

She shrug her shoulders.

"He is sleeping now. There's nothing more I can do for him. It all depends on when he wakes up and in what state his mind is in. The longer he remains in that coma, the smaller his chances become."

"I want to stay with him."

"Sure."

Harry and Sirius stepped beside Remus' bed and sat down. Lupin looked pale and he had become very thin. His bruises were mended at the hex marks on his chest had nearly vanished. Madam Pomfrey had removed the beard he had grown in order to heal the wounds on his face. 

Harry looked at his godfather and fear shot through him. He could guess that Sirius had been euphoric when he discovered that Lupin was alive, but if he would loose him once more…

Sirius took one of Lupin's hands and held it tightly. He didn't realize that Harry was there anymore.

"Remus? Remus if you can hear me, please wake up. Please."

Lupin didn't react. Harry took up Lupin's other hand and watched him closely.

"Remus? Please! Please stay with me. Moony, I need you. You know that I always get myself into trouble if you're not there, I really need you. I can't go on without you, I can't bear loosing another friend. Moony, please come back to me!"

Sirius started crying silently, repeating his pleas over and over again through his sobs. Harry let go of Lupin's hand and stepped over towards his godfather. He put his arms around him from behind and buried his face in the bend of his neck, whispering comforting words. Sirius was tense and didn't seem to relax, not even a little. But he raised his free hand and started stroking Harry's hair slowly.

Harry closed his eyes and after some minutes realized that he started drifting off.

"Harry? Come on, lay down on the bed. You've been through a lot, you need sleep. I'll have Madam Pomfrey look after you later."

Sirius gently pushed him onto the bed on Lupin's side and pulled a blanket over him before he continued his watch over his friend. Despite all his efforts, Harry soon fell asleep.

Sirius kept talking to Lupin in a low voice, he recalled stories from their past while he held tightly onto the other's hand. With his free hand he stroke over Lupin's cheek and hair but he received no sign that his friend realized his presence. Nevertheless, he continued this for hours. 

Shortly after dusk, Madam Pomfrey forced him to leave Remus' side because she wanted to heal his own wounds. He had completely forgotten about them and not until Madam Pomfrey examined his side he realized how much it hurt. She quickly healed his cracked rib and the other bruises and gave him a Pepper-Up-Potion before Sirius returned to his chair next to Remus' bed. He took his friend's hand again and continued his pleas.

"Please Moony. Loosing you once has nearly killed me. If I have to go through this again I'll go insane. I just kept on because of Harry. I need to be there for him, but if I have to bury you once more I will break. Come back to me, please. You're all that I have left. I love you Moony, please don't leave me."

Lupin didn't react and Sirius let his head fall to his chest and started crying again. His friend wouldn't come back. Remus would die and it was all his fault. How could he have believed that he had died three months ago? Shouldn't he have felt that he was still alive? But no, he had gotten lost in his self pity while Moony had been tortured by that rat Malfoy. It was all his fault and now he would loose him once again as a punishment. Sirius sighed and continued sobbing until late in the night.


	24. Dawn

**Dawn**

Sirius had never thought that he could cry like that. Not after his time in Azkaban, he had always thought that his imprisonment there had taken away his ability to get lost in tears and sobs, his ability to feel such a deep pain and hurt.

But he still could do it, he had done so for hours now. He only wished that there was no reason to do so.

"Don't cry…"

The words had been barely more than a whisper but Sirius immediately turned around towards Harry. His godson was still lying in bed, obviously sleeping. Reality struck Sirius and he turned back towards Remus. It couldn't be, could it?

Remus' eyelids fluttered and his lips moved.

"Moony? Can you hear me?"

Remus produced a weak smile and slowly opened his eyes.

"Yes Padfoot…can hear you. Your sobbing…would have…woken the dead."

A wave of relief shot through Sirius.

"Don't talk too much. You need rest. I'll go and get Madam Pomfrey."

He stood up and ran towards the nurse's office who gave him a killing look. But as he told her why he was running around in the infirmary she smiled and went to her patient. She examined him carefully and then turned towards Sirius, relief in her eyes.

"He's weak and he needs to rest, but he's fine. The physical wounds will heal and he seems to have his mind together, well at least as much as he had when he still was at school with the other three of you. He'll be fine, it will take some time but he'll be fine. I'll send one of the ghosts to tell Professor Snape."

She went off and Sirius sat down beside Remus, once again taking his hand into his own.

"What's wrong with Harry? Why is he lying there?"

"Shhh. Don't panic. He's just exhausted so I told him to sleep. I'll tell you later." He looked into Remus' eyes and suddenly it all flooded out of him.

"Oh Merlin, Moony I thought you were dead. Everybody thought. I…I went to your funeral, it…I can't find any words to describe how awful that was. I…I thought I had lost you forever…"

Remus pressed his hand tightly. "I know."

Sirius' eyes widened. "How…?"

"Malfoy was so kind to supply me with the Daily Prophet nearly every day. I've seen the pictures from the funeral. Sirius, I'm so sorry…"

"Don't be, it wasn't you fault."

"I mean about what I've said. That day when we were fighting, before they kidnapped me. I shouldn't have said that, I realized that it made things even worse for you. And I really didn't mean it. The thought that you were mourning for me drove me mad. I wanted nothing more than telling you that I'm alive. I wanted to tell you how sorry I am, I wanted to hold you, to tell you that everything was all right but I couldn't. I'm so sorry."

Sirius shook his head.

"Don't be. I should have started talking about Azkaban ages ago. That we fought was my fault and not yours. 

You're back and you're alive, that's all that matters now. For a couple of hours I was afraid of loosing you again. Loosing you without telling how much you mean to me would have been too much to bear, not once again. 

Remus, I…I want you to know that despite how badly we might fight in the future, despite all awful things that I might say to you in the heat of the moment, I love you. You're my friend, you're my brother and I love you. Nothing can change that."

Remus smiled.

"I know. Love you too Padfoot."

Sirius pressed his hand gently.

"Now sleep. Madam Pomfrey will have my head if I keep you awake. We can talk later."

Remus nodded and closed his eyes, drifting into sleep immediately. Sirius smiled and gently stroke his cheek.

Then he closed his eyes and thanked all the gods he knew for bringing Remus back to him.


	25. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

Three weeks had passed since the eventful night of Harry's capture. 

Professor Dumbledore had come back only hours after Snape had sent off the owl and after he had talked with Fudge, McGonagall and Snape for a long time he had bid Harry into his office the next morning.

Harry had told him once again what exactly he had done that night, feeling more than guilty that he had gone so far as to use an Unforgivable Curse on a fellow human being.

"Professor, I don't know how I should feel about it. I mean, I'm not better than them after I've done this."

But Dumbledore had only shaken his head.

"Don't Harry. Don't think like that. You did what no one else of us was able to do. I am not somebody who lives after the motto that the end justifies the means but what you did made Voldemort vanish again, even if only for short. And I know for sure that you didn't use that curse with the same purpose that a Death Eater would have done."

"But I wanted to kill Wormtail."

Dumbledore had nodded.

"Yes, but you took the curse off him before you did, he will recover. You would not have put him under that curse if there had been a possibility to attack Voldemort himself. And you didn't cast the Killing Curse on a fellow human being, you cast it at a dark creature in order to protect what you thought was worth protecting. We are all fighting Voldemort now Harry, we all are. This is a war and unfortunately, in any war we have to take means we don't want to take. And if any of us, be it Professor Snape, Sirius or even me would have been given the chance, none of us would have done differently than you have.

But I need you to understand that despite all your efforts, I fear that Voldemort is not dead. We don't know where he is, but I don't even think that he is off as bad as he was fifteen years ago.

Voldemort has grown very powerful over the last year. I'm afraid that Avada Kedavra might not be enough to kill him. He has probably apparated away the moment he realized what was going on and so far the Ministry has no clue about his whereabouts."

Harry had merely nodded, he had guessed that much already.

"The Death Eaters?"

"Some have been captured, some have escaped. Lucius Malfoy has been arrested however, and we're very faithful that he will have some useful information for us. But that should not be bothering you now. 

I still cannot gather exactly how, but Remus is still alive and Merlin, I'm glad that it has turned out to be like this. You have to look after them now Harry, your godfather has a tendency to over-estimate his strength. Why don't you go down into the infirmary and tell him to sleep a little?"

He had smiled at Harry. "And if there is anything you need to talk about and don't want to bother Sirius or Remus with, just tell me. Anytime."

Harry had nodded and left.

This all had been three weeks ago now. In the meantime, the Ministry had found out the identity of the body that had been found in Remus' garden shelter. It had been a homeless muggle who had fallen into the hands of Lucius Malfoy. The tombstone with Remus' name on his grave had been removed and he had been given a proper funeral ceremony.

This morning, Harry and Sirius had returned home with Remus. He had recovered quite well over the weeks, one of the fortunate aspects of being a werewolf was that his body healed a lot quicker, but he was still weak. Also, Harry had heard him wake up at night several times, screaming as the reminders of his imprisonment haunted his dreams. He was far from being able to live on his own again yet. Besides, Remus' cottage was far beyond repair and Harry knew that Sirius thought about talking him into moving to his house completely. 

Dumbledore had allowed Harry to go home for at least two weeks and Harry knew that he wanted him to digest everything in a familiar surrounding as well as to have an eye on Sirius.

Harry sat at the kitchen table and looked over into the living room. What he saw there made him smile.

Remus slept on the sofa, a blanket spread across his body. Sirius sat next to him, Remus' head on a pillow in his lap. Sirius too had fallen asleep and his head had fallen onto his chest.

Sirius had not left Remus' side for more than an hour or so during the past weeks and even now he had refused to bring him into his bedroom.

Harry knew that if he had done so, he would have checked on him every ten minutes. Sirius still could hardly believe that all this was real, that his friend really was alive and his biggest fear was waking up and realizing that it had all been a dream. So he stayed with Remus as much as possible.

Harry knew hardly anything about what had happened to Remus during his imprisonment at Malfoy Manor and judging after what he had seen he didn't really want to know. They would tell him when they thought it was right, Harry could wait.

Harry smiled again and put his teacup into the sink. Then he went over into the living room and sat down in an armchair beside the two men on the sofa.

It would take time, but they'd get over it, Harry knew for sure. Both Sirius and Remus had seen tough times before and together they would get through this as well.

The thought that those two exhausted men on the sofa were his family made Harry feel all warm inside. It felt right.

He closed his eyes.

When Remus was doing better he would ask Sirius to take him to Godric's Hollow and to his parents' graves. He felt ready for this, now that he knew there were people who really cared for him, who would stand beside him whatever happened. 

He was ready to leave his past behind, though of course there were some parts which he would always carry around with him, like the memory of his parents. 

But he would leave all the anger, fear and hatred behind and would look into the future. 

Voldemort was still out there and Harry felt that this would not have been the last time he had threatened his life and the lives of those he cared for. But looking once more onto the sleeping forms of Remus and Sirius, Harry knew that together they somehow would get through it.


End file.
